She drives straight on a sinuous road...

Angst

2011-09-26T02:00:00.001+08:00

Last post i had was almost a month ago.

I don't blog anymore. I don't write much anymore unless it's my homework. I don't even come online much anymore or stay in touch with friends outside of school anymore. I'm just putting my head in it and keep practising Math, and when the quiz is over, i'm doing my English homework. When i'm doing neither, i'm either in lectures or dancing.

My life is like that now. Every week. Of course sometimes i break out of it when my friends ask me out. I don't detest it, sometimes i feel like my life is fulfilling again, with school and dance. I enjoy being a student, i really do. And i enjoy being a dancer now too, but when night falls, something is missing. I don't bother about it, 'cause time is always running out and i'm racing with time. I always have something to do, there's not a moment to stop and rest and think about irrelevant stuff. I guess it's times when i'm done with my homework, and i'm not in the mood to practice Math anymore (and i've completely given up on Philosophy) that i find myself staring at this black hole, and i don't recognise it, because i was so caught up with everything else.

My goal now is to survive and get good grades. Do the best i can to save money, to collect money, to be nice to everyone, to dance well (yes i'm in the pas de trois),stay happy, to just be the best person i could ever be. I've never felt this way, i don't know why i feel this way ever since i enrolled myself in school. It feels odd. It doesn't feel like me. I was never this hardworking. I never wanted to be better or perfect. It feels wrong in a sense? But it's not. Why is wrong to want to be better?

It's like i'm so strict with myself now. No going online. No going out to have fun. Do your Math. Review your essay again. Sleep early. Wake up early to do your homework. It's kinda maniacal? Most of the time i feel like i can't breathe. And i actually think it's fine, that i'm gonna be fine, yet deep down, i feel like something is wrong. I ignore it. I can't see anything except my goal now. I'm blind to everything except my goal. Is that too narrow-minded? What do i get after i get my goal?

Especially now that i'm dancing with him, the close proximity and the roles, subconscious i'm really very careful. However, no matter how careful i am, i seem to trip everytime. Sometimes i fall and i don't even know until i reach home late at night and i feel the pain seeping in like flood. I really want this bad. I want to push myself. I wanna prove and know that i am capable of bigger roles. I want to at least try before my body falls behind. I don't want to sway in the background anymore. Not that background dancers aren't important, they are, but now that i've been given this chance, i really wanna push it. But the character defies all my values. It's a good challenge for me. Too good that i'm way over my head, but being stubborn, i still wanna do it. But every time i come home, i just wanna break down. I'm trying very hard not to be personal, but emotions never fail to creep in bit by bit, and that's when it all comes crashing down and i hold on to dear life. Everybody else thinks i'm thinking too much. Should i wish to be superficial about this? I am envious that they are so non-chalant about it. I've never been so emotionally involved in a choreography, i don't know how to deal with it, especially i feel like i have no help. I don't wanna talk about him. Talking about him means i'm still affected, but i AM affected. I know he doesn't wanna hear me talk about him anymore, but he's the only person available. Two are in camp, one is overseas, the other i've given up, and he's the only person i'm left with, yet he's always tired after dance, and i don't know why he's even tired when he's having his holidays now. I can't possibly pour my heart out to my classmates, too much information. And on top of them, i'm so busy with school.

I really can't deal with it now. I wish he could be normal just for these few months. I wish he won't make the atmosphere so odd, intense and awkward outside of dance. I wish he would stay constant, because it's really hard to keep up with him. When i think he's nice, he ignores me. When i show my pokerface, he's nice to me. I'm really confused. I just want a normal relationship. Like with any other person. Just treat me like everybody else, for once, i actually want you to treat me like everybody else. Why is it so different with me? And it's not even in a pleasant way. I don't even want anything more from you anymore, but for you to treat me with the same courtesy you would want others to do upon you, unless you're telling me to be mean then okay lah. I hope i still bother 'cause you're my partner, and that i still have the decency to treat you like a dancemate, like a human being and not anything else, but i'd probably be lying right?

Eli told me she wished i would stop liking someone like him, i wish that too so it'll make my life a whole lot easier and less complex, but what will that make me?

If we're still on talking terms, he'll tell me this is Angst. He was the one who came up with the definition of Angst, which i so vividly remember. Again, it's about him.

Fall For Anything - The Script

It's the same damn things you're so quick to believe
You do it over and over again
And it's the same mistakes that I'm watching you weep
You do it over and over again

How do you stop history from repeating? How do you stop yourself from making the same decisions over and over again?

拋物線 - 蔡健雅

当初亲密的动作变成当下的闪躲感情的过程出了什么错我没想过我会难过你终于离开我

I wanna share this video 'cause it reminds me of the choreography. I love the lyrics and how the MV is shot. Not to mention, it gets me down too. hahas.

Life So Far

2011-08-27T21:27:00.009+08:00

Hey people. It's been, how long since i last blogged? hahas. I've been wanting to blog, but i don't really know what to. Let's try.

Today i am down with cough and throat inflammation. Yesterday i was down with cough, throat itch-ness & headache. My head pounds with every walk i take, damn jialat, but quite cool, goes boom boom boom boom, like techno beats but it hurts so it's not cool. The day before i just felt sore throat coming on. So i've been sleeping and sleeping, like sleeping beauty only she can't choose when to wake up 'cause she's under a spell and not sick and she can only wake up when her Prince Charming comes along and is man enough to want to kiss her and marry her and fend for her. I don't know any man man enough to do that for me XD

And today we had to vote for our President. I like SRN, i wish he didn't had to step down. Actually, i don't know what he did or didn't do, but so far i don't see anything wrong with him and i don't see the point in a new one since they don't really have much power or say in the government. The new Tans are all as lame as the previous elections (are the politics here all that lame?) and i really don't like any of them, but at least they don't shout, more calm.

On Friday i went for HUB Training. My new-school-to-be (WOOHOO school's starting in 2 days time!!! XDDD) changed its system hence i only know my timetable on Friday (How slow and inefficient is that?). I TOTALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE SH*T SHE SAID. She's like in her own world, thinking she's super hilarious, kept laughing for something that ain't funny at all, and addressing us like we're kids. Also, she doesn't answer our questions. She doesn't know what we're asking, yet she answers like she's Ms Know-It-All. SERIOUSLY. Why is my school filled with LAME PEOPLE?! Went home and that's when i fell really sick.

There's this part where i remember most vividly:
She: Do you see this pa cha (she's trying to say cha cha,叉叉 as in X in Chinese but i don't know why she said pa cha instead, trying to act cute?)? That means No okay?
*After a few moments she realised she's not speaking Adult English*
She: Oh it's cross. Sorry. Excuse my French.
Boy sitting behind me: *exclaims* HAR? I THOUGHT SHE'S CHINESE?!

XD Firstly, Excuse my French isn't suppose to be used like that, and she's speaking Baby Language, and we're WAY OLDER THAN TODDLERS? But still XD at the boy's reaction.

Had orientation on Tuesday, then camp all the way till Wednesday. Orientation was alright, some parts (or maybe just one) is boring and lame. All the talk about life, relationship, god and depression. My god. Really, are we really having this conversation? Camp was just tiring and disgusting lah. I'm lazy to blog about it. hahas.

Been spending the whole day at home except going to vote and seeing the doctor. Lucky for me, my parents were out for the whole afternoon, it wasn't as bad as i thought of it to be. To spend the whole day at home. It was quite chill peaceful. I wished i wasn't sick, so i can go to some quiet cafe, have a sip of hot chocolate or Mocha, read some books or just see the world go by. That's really nice isn't it?

There are so many food i'm just craving to eat. It's not some expensive cuisines, like foie gras or abalone, it's just very simple. I wanna eat mangoes. Sweet, juicy mangoes, reddish yellow on the outside. I've been craving for dipping Chocolate biscuits into Hot Milo since last night =(( BOO. Oh well. Hurry get well and i can eat all of that! =D

Gong Teck

2011-06-25T21:20:00.007+08:00

I'm bored. And tired. But i don't really wanna sleep now. I think the sleeping bug is leaving me..

Woke up quite early for gong teck. Can't believe it's 阿公 first death anniversary already.. I remember vividly that period of my life a year ago, and the glaring repeat of your absence. Of course, it's not as bad, but when it comes to moments like this, why won't i want you there? Your absence just stresses the agony i felt a year ago, and why i couldn't bring myself to forgive you. Everyone, including you, will probably think that it doesn't matter, but those who heard my sorrows would know better. When does it not matter? Those who's walked a similar path would grasped this more than they'd like to. Anyway, this is not suppose to be about you.

A lot of burning of joss sticks, and a lot of KNEELING! The morning prayers were still alright, but as it progressed to the fourth one saya tak boleh tahan! My aunts and uncles already couldn't take it, tumbling all over the place, what's funnier is that my cousin can't kneel all the way, and my brother was perspiring to the max 'cause it hurts for him and he's biting his teeth really hard. I know it's not the right thing to laugh and snigger but it's really hilarious and takes the stern of out it i guess. Lucky for me, i have no bruises! It does pay off when i gek before landing, instead of just crashing, but i can't get rid of numbness that kicks in after 3 minutes. And i nearly dozed off! Lunch was funny too, guess when you put a bunch of teenagers (and young adults who couldn't grow out of their adolescent) together for mindless chatter, what you're gonna get is nonsense, which evolves into inside joke, like 'Halal Pork', 'Ice-blended Longan Dessert' and 'Tea cups' XD I dont' remember having this much fun when i was young, but now isn't too late =)

It's hard to see them much, but at least everybody turns up when it matters, i think that's the most important thing and i'm relieved, that i'm able to experience this real life, not watch it on some TV drama. As i grow older, meet more people, delve deeper, i realised not everybody have decent extended family. Be it their perceptions are twisted or not, despite all the 'tough love', at least they have one common goal, their love for their father, and filial piety and respect for their grandfather and parents. I'll always be proud of this fact.

Saw this on Eli's Tumblr. We all must learn this, especially me..

Ruimin & Eli's Technique Class

2011-06-20T16:39:00.004+08:00

Dear Readers,

Most of you is probably not gonna like what i blog 'cause i don't blog tactfully. If you're upset, i mean no harm. If you're gonna cause a racket, i sincerely ~~hope you get bitch-slapped by your words 'cause you suck that you can't take criticism!~~ believe you should leave this page =)

Yours Truly,
Moi

This is for Ruimin and Elizabeth! =D

Had our first class of technique taught by them yesterday. It was refreshing and it was great. They were very detailed with how this pose should be like, what we should do when we do this particular move, how we can improve on this and that. I guess it's also because they are students, so they know what difficulties we may face, and what kind of explanation would make us better understand. The class was rather short, but it tired me out so much i woke up around 2 hours ago =P Further proves that it's a good class! I haven't slept like that for months?

I also like the way they help each other in teaching. They don't clash, they complement, which is very unlike some other particular person (SOPP) that i've encountered. I don't have anything against SOPP but i do hate it when SOPP (i don't know wittingly or unwittingly) shoves me into the huge drain next to me (where did that drain come from?!) when i'm teaching and just takes over the class and reign. I have no problem if anybody would like to take over the class, but kindly ask. I'm not an unreasonable person (to a certain extent). I also see no point when SOPP asked me to comment on the class, and before i can breathe out a single word, snatches to voice out, and ask some other person if he/she has anything to say -_- WHAT'S THE POINT, REALLY? So i can say that, Ruimin and Eli have no such problem at all! Eli lets Ruimin teach, and fills in as and when necessary without 喧宾夺主。

I noticed that they have improved a lot and it sucks to not be as good. The first time we saw them, they were better than average, but after a few years back from Hong Kong, i can see that they are a lot more stable, and their techniques are more refined, while we are all just as stagnant as the mosquitoes favourite breeding place. Seeing them do all those moves with grace and ease, makes me feel it's not impossible ya? As compared to seeing videos and all those famous dancers we'll never get to meet in our lives, seeing your peers achieve the same results injects more credibility and possibility i believe? Seeing them step it up, makes me wanna step it up too! I'm not trying to compete, but i'm sure as dancers, if you can, you actually want to be able to dance gracefully and do all those 射雁 etc without looking like a dog peeing right?

So hereby i thank Ruimin and Eli for the wonderful class, the effort you girls put in and the motivation for wanting to be better than we can be! Can't wait for the next class! ^_^

----

It's been a long time since i've blogged. It's been a long time since i've done anything actually, so you can imagine me sitting in my room, typing this blog, been surrounded by heaps and mountains of.. STUFFS. You do realise that people use stuff when either a) they have no idea what they're talking about or b) there's too much things involved hence a general categorisation, which (stop thinking which it is) is both and maybe more. I am not a hoarder, i just believe most things can be reused (that's probably what a hoarder says).

I genuinely wish to clear up the mess (i admit it's annoying that i can't find a space to write on or having the need to balance my handphone precariously on the desk), but oddly, i only wish to do so if i'm alone at home. It's odd because for the past few weeks i've been bugging people to accompany me or do something with me 'cause i'm bored out of my ass but with such personal things, i actually want to be left alone literally. I guess i need to meditate. Or maybe i just need to lock my door, wear ear muffs and turn my phone off so i don't have to worry that somebody will barge in without a care in this world or shout dinnertime.

I need to Groom My Room. That's lame. I need to Pimp My Room. That's weird. I need to revamp my room. That's better. Which involves money. I wanna go travel the world. Which involves money too. I hope i get into SIM-UB. Which involves even more money. I should just stay at home and rot, which believe it or not, involves money as well (unless i really meditate and pretend it's the Ramadan week). Don't you just wish money doesn't exist (which will cause a lot of chaos with barter trading, which our ancestors have proven hence the birth of money)? But think of it, if everybody gets everything for free, minus the kiasu Singaporean mindset, or greediness or wastage, we'd all actually be a lot better off. No need to worry about unemployment rates, worry about putting a roof over your head, worry that you're kids are crying of hunger, worry about your future in whole. Artists can actually do their work, lesser suicides, lesser stress, people like me can actually be happy and do what we want! Of course it's not that simple, i just don't wish to launch into a windy debate on Why-Money-Exist. I know why without thinking and i don't wish to delve into that endless abyss.

After a month of endless rage, pity, misery, annoyance, stress, loneliness and all those emotions you'd expect of a young adult who wish she's still a teenager would have all mashed up into a ball like coloured plasticine, i've come to realise i should learn to be grateful to those who've hurt me. Maybe i should start on a list on Things-I'm-Grateful-Towards-(insert name). For that person who is often nicknamed after the exanimate species (PWIONATES, you can actually pronounce it!), i'm actually grateful for an abundance of things PWIONATES have taught and inspired me, but i have no idea whether my hurt equates or exceeds those grateful things, however, i'm grateful nonetheless. PWIONATES has taught me to make use of what i have and change those within my power (in this case my room) and it's actually a very useful thing in life. I wonder why PWIONATES never applied this theory in our relationship but perhaps PWIONATES did, maybe relationships are different, maybe it just doesn't work, maybe i don't know 'cause if i did we won't end up like this.

I'm just spending another day emo-ing to downloaded Mandarin oldies i never got the chance to listen to 'cause they're just so old it's-okay-to-sing-to-every-word-when-it-comes-on-on-the-radio-like-you've-been-listening-to-them-for-your-entire-life-but-it's-not-okay-to-listen-to-them-on-your-MP3-player (Wow that was long), so don't mind me and my mindless banter since i have nobody to banter to. Okay that's not true. I can't palaver with the person i wish to. That's more right.

Okay i shall stop here before i bore you out of your ass too!

(Probably) Last Post Before Taiwan

2011-04-22T01:12:00.006+08:00

Feeling damn sian now. Probably the reason why i'm still up so late. Or perhaps it's the staring at screens that's making me un-sleepy.

Everybody's emo-ing about SYF. Okay, not everybody, but still, it's the negativity that's staying in my brain. Probably the lack of attachment brings about the lack of emotion from me. I think it's cool. I'm really disappointed with SYF this year, only like 1 or 2 good dances in a day, really lousy. I probably expect too much from secondary school students and Singaporean choreogaphers. I probably don't know how to judge or view dance. Now i'm emo. hahas. I just think it's cool lah. Of course i kept it to myself. It's probably better to just float across in the background quietly than make any probably hurting comments.

I'm sian about money as well. I don't really feel like a job. Even if i do, i hope it's something i'll enjoy or want, like Wedding Planner or Florist or Librarian. But i probably should take up Admin or equivalent if i want any income at all. BUT I HATE THOSE JOBS. And i always believe that's the kind of jobs you must have after you graduate from university 'cause that's the SOCIALLY RIGHT kind of job (aka the one that feeds you and your family and puts a roof over your head no matter how torturously boring and unfulfilling it can be).

AND. I'm going overseas for a holiday. Which means more money going out! I'm kinda relieved that i'm going to a cheaper country, but cheaper means i'll spend more 'cause cheap attracts me (don't take it the wrong way). I'm just worried that i'll waste money, so i should think twice right? But with my equally tight itinerary, thinking too much will leave regrets. ARGH. I hope i have sensible shopping mates >_<

I'm worried about my body too. I pulled my muscle since Sunday, it's getting better, not soon enough but still better, but the physician broke the news to me that my spine is CROOKED! He adjusted it back and now i feel constant ache & pain even when i'm LYING ON THE BED which should be a comfort but it's not. I'M REALLY SCARED. Never had a crooked spine, and i have this mentality that spines are dead important, especially to a dancer, and if i have a crooked spine and i don't take special care i'm equally dead. Not to mention hearing several cases of slip discs happening on LaSalle dancers who are probably more build to be a dancer than i am, i tell you, you have no idea the amount of fear nibbling in the back of my head. I'm sorry to say this and i hope i'm dead wrong, but he's not being very understanding or comforting about my (uncalled according to him) fears. I don't know who to turn to, so i just try to be light when i speak about this conversation. Sometimes, he's REALLY worked up, especially about my body, which freaks me out even more (he asked if the physician told me to stop dancing O_O). I was never really worried that i don't have a dancer body, since i was led to think that i just have to work a lot harder, but now i'm really worried i can't even dance. Whether i wanna leave that place or not, i've never wanted (or thought) to stop dancing.

I really need a hug and to cry my eyes (and fear) out. BUT, i think i probably cried too much or didn't hanle contacts properly, my eyes seem to have problems. Which means i'm scared that i'll be blind too.

I know i always have so much problems. I know i'm physically (and probably mentally) weaker than everybody, but you gotta know that this wasn't what i wish for. I've been strong throughout my secondary and tertiary days i don't understand this situation. I've been told i hadn't been taken good care of when young, on top of my picky, unhealthy and irregular eating habits, this is the consequence. If karma knocks on my door at this young age, do i expect to live healthy in the future? Or even living past 40? The only positive thing i can say is that i'm glad my loved ones are healthy and a lot stronger.

I feel better blogging about it and getting it out, if not i myself will never know what's bothering me. It's sad that i have to blog instead of talking to somebody, but at least i have an outlet to vent.

I have to watch my eyes and i'm beginning to be hungry and there's a FLYING BUG! OMG CIAO!

*runs and hides*

More of Eat, Not so much of Pray =P

2011-04-12T23:09:00.013+08:00

"In a would of disorder and disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. Pleasure cannot be bargained down. And sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real."

"...so who can you trust? What can you believe? The world is unkind and unfair. Speak up against this unfairness and in Sicily, at least, you'll end up as the foundation of an ugly new building. What can you do in such an environment to hold a sense of your individual human indignity? Maybe nothing. Maybe nothing except, perhaps, to pride yourself on the fact that you always fillet your fish with perfection, or that you make the lightest ricotta in the whole town?"

"...and when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt--this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight."

"And i will leave with the hope that the expansion of one person--the magnification of one life--is indeed an act of worth in this world. Even if that life, just this one time, happens to be nobody's but my own."

All excerpts from Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

I think it's rather inspiring, those paragraphs. I got a bit sian of reading it though, maybe 'cause praying doesn't appeal to me as much as eating =P

Now i'm sian of blogging. Ah. =/

Do Something Different

2011-03-23T09:49:00.006+08:00

Bicyle by niuniusia

Wow. The last time i blogged, was last year! My god.

Anyway, isn't it amazing that i'm blogging in the MORNING?! hahas. I had a busy morning in fact! I think today should be a Do-Something-Different Day. I reckon any day can be a special day or a day to get out of your routine, so why not today?

Woke up at seven plus and decided to go downstairs for some peanut butter waffle and chocolate milk. It was a bit chaotic at Shop & Save with the auntie staff getting miffed by the slightest things, and the queue isn't any faster. Then the bakery auntie forgot about my waffle and burnt it. Ah well. I have the whole morning to wait anyway.

Ate and watched Glee. Love the song Rachel and Finn sang. Smile by Lily Allen. Her songs are always so sadistic and sharp, with bubblegum tune. Then the big test: I brought the bike out for a ride! Other than oil stains on my right shin and banging into kids, i think it was cool =X The young mother was kind enough to ask if i were okay than scolding me for banging into her kid who ran out of the bus >_< My hands are really soft, 'cause i grabbed it too hard. Can't even blow dry my hair or SMS well! I always grab things too hard, have a problem with loosening up. Oh well.

I'm really tired. Wanna nap but my hair's still wet! Boo.

Google Chrome

2010-11-25T20:24:00.005+08:00

Finally downloaded Google Chrome. Slow i know. It's not bad. Uploading photos on Facebook, like finally. Still a bit slow for me, but it's a lot faster than using Internet Explorer and Simple Uploader, so no complains there.

Haven't felt so not tired in years. Must be all that sleeping yesterday. Despite that, i fell asleep on the train home today and nearly missed my stop, and i felt giddy all day long. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. Didn't go for Mischa's birthday party =( Health comes first. I hope i made the right choice.

Was pouring when i got to my station. Reminded me that it was pouring when we left Genting. I miss those at Genting =( I wish i were there. I wish i were playing in the theme park this morning. I wish i were there to help at the adjudication and the Closing Ceremony. I missed the good times we had last year, with Arjun and Kean Hou. Good times never last, does it?

I think this is a down point with getting old, you reminisce too much. Yet on the other hand, you learn to cherish more and let go of stones in your pockets ;)

My brother got his results today. All 'A's, but i couldn't believe that he's 3 points short of getting into Riverside. Like, WHAT? Are you serious? I got lousier grades than he did that time. Guess kids are getting smarter these days? What's the use if you lack manners, really? Like Patt said, going around with a parang. Or bombing of your fellow countrymen (Okay they aren't exactly kids or smart). Looks like i have to start doing some asking around and pulling of strings..

Speaking of bombing, i joked to Pepsi that if a war really does break out, SHINee will have to be renamed DUSTee.. Okay, not funny =X

It's crazy that so many things happened when i'm gone. First it's the slashings, now it's bombing. I sincerely hope there won't be a World War III. I mean, we are facing global crisis, and you're making nuclear bombs over there? What's the point of a war? What's wrong with living in harmony within your territory, no matter how small it is? You wanna talk about small, why not come live in my world? Mind you, we don't even own our flats, it belongs to the government, so technically, where i stand/sit, isn't even my space, so come let's talk about small =/ I tell myself if a war doesn't break out and they can co-exist harmoniously, i will start listening to K Pop. Really.

Just when i said Google Chrome uploads photos fast, it's slowing down on me. I shall take my words back =/

I should start flipping through the news and see what i've missed in the whole month of November. My birthday month is so happening. hahas.

Oh, my boss gave me a pleasant surprise today by buying me sticky, Japanese rice!!! SO SWEET OF HER!!! I'm so touched! XDDD I believe it's quite expensive, and it's not bad! =D But i still don't know which stall she bought it from..

Back from Genting

2010-11-24T20:50:00.004+08:00

Hello people.

Back and i'm sick =/ Doctor downstairs says it's lack of water, throat inflammation. I feel it's the lack of sleep and dry weather at Genting as well. The bus rides are awfully long and bumpy, not easy to get a good rest or drink much water. It was fun and not fun, and i can't really decide whether it's better than the last time, but at least the performance (the main point) went well =) Thank you those who placed your trust in me, and i hope i didn't fail you guys.

Had to go all the way to Admiralty Secondary under the sweltering sun, no wonder i felt even more uncomfortable. The contrast in weather is awful, at least in Genting it's always cooling, but back here, it's blasting of air-cons in buses, and stepping out into blistering sun out in the open. No wonder people fall sick all the time. Admiralty's main gate is so freaking far away! I felt like i've walked 1 clique worth of road. Then went to buy wrapping paper, lastly met up Elaine to pass her the tickets. She's thinking of going into Theatre, cool-ness. I admire her courage to dream =)

Napped for like 7 hours, and i still feel giddy. Maybe i slept too much. Funny thing was, when i lay on my bed, it felt really weird that it's still and quiet. My body got too used to the bumpy, noisy ride, that i found it hard to switch back to sleeping in a still, quiet room. Odd, really.

On a side note, i find this invention really cool for a cocktail party. Not exactly atas if you ask me, but it's really handy and nice:

And i always wanted to say this: I quite like the Sakura set of Corelle. Auntie i know, but if i had a house of my own, i wanna buy this set or get it as a housewarming gift! Well, that is if they're still producing it when i get a home. I see this everytime i go to work. hahas. But darn expensive. A spanish brand i presume.

I haven't played or shopped enough yet at Genting, though i did spend quite a far bit. All on you guessed it, FOOD. It's really a shame that i didn't get to try all the things i wanted to try the first time i went to Genting. The flying thingy, BASKIN ROBBINS 31 (T_T), roti prata. So sad can. But i did finally go shop in the other hotels, like Resorts World. It looks so much better than First World can? According to them, that's the most expensive, and First World's the cheapest. hahas. NO WONDER. Our room reeks of cigarette smell (why didn't we get the non-smoking level? =( ) and guests were smoking everywhere and anywhere despite being in an air-con room (i guess it's quite different from Singapore).

I doubt i can fall asleep again. Oh crap.

I MISS YOU ALL AT GENTING =( I wish i were there, but.. Oh well.

Genting

2010-11-21T13:11:00.005+08:00

Going to Genting for the second time. I really hope this time will be so much better than the last. I mean, i had fun the last time, but the miscommunications and the accusations made it really unenjoyable. I doubt this time can be any worse since we're gonna be there for like what, one day?! hahas. Pathetic. Like some rockstar goes up to perform and heads back down to rush to the next performance or something.

During the trip, i hope we get to:
1) Have a safe trip back and down
2) Perform smoothly
3) Enjoy ourselves and bond (despite all the saikangs and temper)
4) Play at the outdoor theme park (impossible)
5) EAT BASKIN ROBBINS!!!
6) Be healthy and injure-free
7) Take in the scenery, cool weather and good food!
8) Not be down with fever, gastric, cough, flu or whatnots (i brought medication anyway)

Yep i think that's all. Need to leave soon to meet Yixin. I seriously hope i didn't forget to bring anything. It ain't Singapore, if you forget anything, just chiong cab or buy it, it's like, a freaking 6 hours ride, on top of a MOUNTAIN (not hill) and they don't even sell papers, like WHAT? It's a hotel for crying out loud =/

Alrighty, move along. Seeyou peeps on Wednesday! =)

Love The Way You Lie..

2010-11-21T00:50:00.010+08:00

我又心软了。不能再心软了！

I feel like taking back all i typed the previous night. I can't believe how "long-lived" my anger was. I seriously need to be heartless and mean. I need to be negative, at least about you. Why can't i just fill my mind with all the bad memories, all the fights, everything mean?! I thought people always see the worst in others?! ARGH.

My gastric acted up again. I DON'T KNOW WHY. Probably due to the exhaustion from camp, work, and all the emotional rollercoasters no thanks to you. But i have no one to blame but myself for letting me get affected, and coming up with that brainless schedule, seriously, i can't believe i was so dumb. Well, i always were, weren't i? =/

AH. STOP BEING NEGATIVE YOU! But shouldn't i to continue to be angry? But it hurts my gastric. But if i continue to let you hurt me, it'll hurt my heart and still complicate my gastric. WHY IS EVERYTHING CONNECTED LIKE A SPIDERWEB?! *screams and tears hair*

Love The Way You Lie (Acoustic Cover) - HelenaMaria

I don't want to see you to stand there and watch me burn. I don't want to see you to stand there and hear me cry. I don't like the way it hurts. I don't love the way you lie. I don't want us to be like that. To end like that. It's not alright, never is, never will be.

That's a nice acoustic version i found on Youtube. Don't like the way they present themselves in front of the camera, but hey, i'm just here for the music.

"That's alright because I love the way you lie, i love the way you lie~"

----

Thanks Aaron for making me Oatmeal drink, it helped a lot =)

Thanks Jocelene, Zina, Shu Yue, Jia Hui, Aaron and Gladys for helping me with costumes.

Thanks Edmund for helping me with Genting.

Thanks everyone for your subtle care and concern. I feel, blessed =)

Never Again

2010-11-20T11:04:00.007+08:00

Never Again - Kelly Clarkson

I have had it with you. You and your ego. You and your lies. You and your ignorance. You and your know-it-all. I want nothing to do with you. I will never help you ever again. I will not listen to all your supremacy and whatnots. I deserve so much more. Don't be mistaken, i did not give up. I did my best, i gave it all, and what happens? You treat my sincerity like trash, i can't believe i'm still taken for granted, like i'm worthless. Well guess what, it's this relationship i have with you worthless. I will be there when you fall, fall hard, and i will tell you straight in the face, "Serves you right". I'm not right all the time, of course not, but at least my conscience is clear, can i say the same for you? You think you can do everything by yourself, but ask yourself, where would you be if we weren't there for you? You think you're successful, everybody's on your side, but why do i see you alone, on the other side of the ocean? Time to wake up, my dear.

I hope the ring you gave to her
Turns her finger green
I hope when you're in bed with her
You think of me

I would never wish bad things
But I don't wish you well
Could you tell
By the flames that burned your words?

I never read your letter
'Cause I knew what you'd say
Give me that Sunday school answer
Try and make it all okay

Does it hurt
To know I'll never be there?
Bet it sucks
To see my face everywhere

It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know

You knew
Exactly what you would do
Don't say
You simply lost your way

She may believe you
But I never will
Never again

If she really knows the truth
She deserves you
A trophy wife, oh how cute

Ignorance is bliss
But when your day comes
And he's through with you
And he'll be through with you
You'll die together but alone

You wrote me in a letter
You couldn't say it right to my face
Well give me that Sunday school answer
Repent yourself away

Does it hurt
To know I'll never be there?
Bet it sucks
To see my face everywhere

It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know

You knew
Exactly what you would do
And don't say
You simply lost your way

They may believe you
But I never will
Never again

Never again will I hear you
Never again will I miss you
Never again will I fall to you
Never

Never again will I kiss you
Never again will I want to
Never again will I love you
Never

Does it hurt
To know I'll never be there?
Bet it sucks
To see my face everywhere

It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know

You knew
Exactly what you would do
And don't say
You simply lost your way

They may believe you
But I never will
I never will
I never will
Never again

'Cause You Know We'll Make It Through..

2010-11-11T20:44:00.010+08:00

Keep Holding On - Glee version

I apologise for embedding such a lousy quality video, BUT, this is the best i can find 'cause all others are by Sony Entertainment and Singapore, for i don't know what good reasons, cannot view -_-

Anyway, this is for Zu You, Elizabeth, Shawn, Gladys, Zina, Aaron, and all those dancers and non-dancers who are going through a really rough time. It's especially so for us huay kuan dancers, since i'm in the production and i'm there almost everyday and i'm one of those who lose her temper once too many, and too easily. Keep holding on people, 'cause we've worked too hard to give up, and there's nothing else we can do now. We're tied down by responsibilities, passion and obligations, and hopefully the end of the production will set us free.. To be tied down by something else like work, school, and whatever else there is.

Haven't blogged in a while. Too busy, and too lazy =P

Anyway, Eli, i read your blog and i have a lot of comment but i guess the lack of rest and stress and whatnots are eating my braincells out i can barely remember what i read the last paragraph, much less what i wanna comment, so ya. hahas.

I seriously think i'm over my limit. I survive on sensory memory, i can barely stay alert, i don't have much zest for food, i do things on impulse, i break or blow at the slightest things, can't feel much happy feeling, no matter how much i sleep i still feel drained, and for the first time the studio and everybody was moving for quite some time even though i was sitting on the floor last night (Rachel said it's because all my senses were overwhelmed, i thought it was an earthquake! XD) and I.. Don't remember what else i wanna type about. See what i mean?

I should get a Personal Assistant. Like i have the money. And i don't really believe in people doing stuff on my behalf unless it's really small. I believe i can do them, but my body just isn't co-operating.

Being at camp made me realised how much i miss home. How much at ease i feel at home. I thought i feel at ease in huay kuan, but i guess it changes with people. And huay kuan being such a big place, there's a lot of space to freely express my emotions. Back at home, everything's so compact, i can't really explode so i feel at peace? I don't know! I don't make sense anymore!

Why she can go Britain and Europe and all those expensive places while i'm stuck at camp? Why she can go get engaged with a man with a stable career and loves her and she barely knows while i got my heartbroken by my long time best friend? Why she's in lala-land but i'm hanging out with emo-nemo? WHY?! Okay i'm just ranting don't mind me. I feel so, liberated? Slightly =P I actually feel happier, slightly. WOW. Amazing. Why don't i rant more? hahas. I think i've been cooped up for too long, i'm going bonkers.

I WANNA READ A BOOK. I WANNA WATCH A MOVIE. I WANNA FINISH READING MY TOO-THICK MAGAZINE. I WANNA GO VISIT ELI & RUIMIN IN HONG KONG AND EAT PORTUGESE EGG TARTS AND MILK TEA. I WANNA GO ITALY AND EAT PIZZA AND SPAGHETTI LIKE JULIA ROBERTS. I WANNA LEARN HOW TO BAKE A COOKIE AND EAT IT. I WANNA GO TO THE BEACH. I WANNA DANCE AND ROLL ON THE DANCE FLOOR AND ENJOY IT. I WANNA ENJOY LIFE LIKE ENG KIAT.

Oh well. It's things like this that keeps us going. Seriously.

It's ten. I should sleep. But i don't feel tired. Must be the laptop screen. Which is bad. I was so tired i could collapse.

Speaking about exhaustion, a stranger showed me kindness today when i was feeling fed up. The auntie gave up her seat for me 'cause she overheard me saying that i'm tired. I felt uber embarrassed, like i'm this whiny, useless kid. She insisted and when i sat down, i teared. I'M SO TOUCHED. I'm at my brink again, just like last night, but last night was worse 'cause of the family factor again. But to have a stranger show you kindness, it's liberating 'cause you don't know that person, you have no attachment, so you can take without guilt, without burden, and you can be forever grateful, nothing more to carry around. THANK YOU AMK AUNITE.

Gladys thanked me for being harsh to her. Like wow. If only everybody can be this nice. Well, i know i can't, so i shouldn't even be that way but you all know i'm such a hypocrite and that's probably why he isn't talking to me so ya. ARGH. It's SO easy to fall right back into a downward spiral.

I should start to eat healthily. According to Zhong Hao, we are what we eat. He explained that he went vegetarian for a period of time and he was such a peaceful person. I should probably do that. Shawn, of all people, commented i had a lot of inner rage. I know. I don't know where it came from. But if i go vegetarian, i'll probably lose whatever's left, which isn't much. Oh man. Why can't we just put flesh on our body and grow fat in the places we'd like to?

OH KAY. I need to go pack my bags for tomorrow. Going back to camp T_T First time i dread going to camp. Oh well. Life's full of sweet, and bitter food =(

"Keep holding on, 'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through~"

Work. Truth. Hate. Love.

2010-11-03T20:21:00.003+08:00

This following speech is a tad too long, but worth the time =)

Don't Work. Avoid Telling the Truth. Be Hated. Love Someone. by Adrian Tan

Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

Work. Truth. Hate. Love. Things that plague all of us.

Worth the time to read right? So refreshing and it screws your brain! Everything they've taught you, everything you thought you knew, all flushed down the toilet. I see myself in that article, do you? =)

Shopping and Dinner with Xiao Xin & Pei Yi =)

2010-09-28T22:37:00.005+08:00

Went shopping with Xiao Xin and Pei Y after work for Li Ting's present. Got a charm bracelet from Bits and Pieces in the end. I had a problem with her service, but it's cool that they provide free polishing =)

Then we had dinner at Gelare. Half-price waffle!! It was crowded, so three of us had to share this measly table. Our plates are overflowing.

After my Gelare Club Sandwich, i gobbled up a Chocolate Chip Waffle with Chocolate Overload ice-cream! Now i'm uber full and it was so tough trying to finish the half apple Dad offered me >_<

I need to sleep, i wanna sleep, but i wanna watch America's Next Top Model as well.. The dilemma! =P

Push The Stop Button. HARD.

2010-09-22T17:16:00.005+08:00

If i thought Monday morning was bad, i should probably think again. Maybe it was the series of events that led to the outburst at night. The stress from my colleagues, the worry that i might get sacked, the anger towards Jia Hui who was terribly late as usual despite her knowing that i'm unwell, and maybe exerting too much during K Box. You may think i'm having fun, but actually, it doesn't feel fun. Not with the time constraint, the worries, and my discomfort.

Alas, my gastric started to cramp bit by bit. Had to walk from Marina Square back to City Hall, then to Jubilee Hall to meet my parents. By then, the cramp was quite bad. On our ride home, Dad had to tell me to quit my job, which i quite enjoy despite the measly wage, and that was like a cherry top. When we reached home, i stood up and it cramped to the max. I was tearing when i got out from the bathroom. So we had to see a doctor. I thought maybe we would be going to a hospital, and i was going through the lists of questions the nurses may be asking, especially the "from a scale of 1 to 10, how much pain are you in" question which irritated the hell out of Shawn. But all wasn't necessary when i walked into a clinic. I was staring at the posters on the wall to distract myself, then i saw they are posters of Mount Alvernia, and my brains went "OMG!" because that's the hospital that gave Shawn a hell of a time the other time he was hospitalised. I will cry if they do the exact same thing to me. But the worst i got was an injection T_T Which, in my opinion is bad enough.

I shan't describe my discomfort after that, but i was really upset that i had to MC another day of work. Luckily when i called my boss in the morning, she seemed to be in a good mood. And even luckier for me, I SURVIVED WORK TODAY! Was a bit sad she had Andrea as a backup, but it's better than her being alone right. So nevermind lah, as long as i'm not sacked =D

Another lucky thing today is that i bought Bakerzin's mini truffle mooncakes, and they were at half-price! 'Cause today last day. But not only that, they gave me more FREE ones!!!! WOOHOO. Imma stuff myself silly XD But of course, i'll share it lah. I already gave my boss 2, which cheered her up immediately ^_^ I know the photo looks disgusting, but bear with me. That's the dissected Black Sesame flavour. MY FAVOURITE. Can't find any other hotels/restaurants/etc that has the rich flavour like Bakerzin does. I didn't know there was a white centre, it's White Chocolate! Not a fan, but it's a pleasant surprise ^_^ It looks bad 'cause i wanted to cut it smaller, thinking i only want a bit, but it's like Pringles, once you pop, you can't stop! Okay, i only ate 2 small slices of that. Hee..

Another lucky thing was that i got a seat on my train ride home! I really needed that. Yay.

And Cherie'll be buying a ticket from me if she's going! =D

The unlucky things would be that the 169 bus stop was flooded and i left my slippers at work (that's hardly unlucky) and that i typed a card wrongly (three times!). Yep, i guess that's about summarised my whole day for now.

Excited about our celebration later =D

I Think I'm Moving But I Go Nowhere

2010-09-20T13:43:00.005+08:00

It really sucks when you fall sick. I don't know why i had that headache, but i thought last night was bad enough. I wasn't the only one who wasn't feeling well, others had it worse, but i just felt giddy and i had to turn so much for 祭孔。Of course i could have just threw in the towel, but on the account that i was absent last practice, i figured i need it more now. So i pushed on. Dinner was pretty difficult, but Aaron's imitation and Shu Yue's 100Plus made it better =) Not to mention everybody's concern. I feel so blessed =P

This morning i felt really tired and that headache still lingered. I saw that if i don't take a break today, i really cannot continue working anymore. But when i called Ailena, she was like, "Don't tell me you're gonna leave me alone?! Boss will be super angry!" I felt so torn apart =( I even thought of going down to work that very moment. I really don't know what to do. I wish i could just press a stop button. I tried my very best to not have to give up anything for the past few weeks and just keep moving on. When my body starts to send out signals for me to stop, i just take medicine and continue trudging on. This morning, was a very strong signal to tell me to stop. I refused to take Panadol 'cause Zina said it'll stay in your body for 5 years, and to top that, i'm really sick of medicine, but this morning i was scolded by mum for my refusal, so i had to. Moments after, my gatric started acting up. On top of that, i felt really stressed. About desserting her, about my boss, about the girls and Oschool, about dance and everything else. I just wish i was stronger.

Now i have to deal with the next problem: How to tell my boss? First i don't know when she'll arrive, second i don't know whether i should call her today or tell her tomorrow. I'm really scared she'll scold me, or even sack me. I really like this job, but i don't regret taking a break today. This whole month we've always been short-handed, no matter which day i take a break, i'll be deserting one or another. I just wish there was a better way out of this..

I guess i have to prepare myself for being sacked... =(

Talk About Stupidity

2010-09-06T23:05:00.008+08:00

The bunnies are so adorable!!! I want a bunny too =( I don't know why this photo is named 'Stupid Things'. The photographer sure has something against Bugs Bunny.

Let's talk about all the blunders and stupid things i did today.

There were two young girls stepping out of the lift, and i tried to be friendly and smiled. But i walked too fast and kicked the second girl's shoes so hard she jumped >_<

I went to throw rubbish but the heap is too big and the rubbish is too heavy they both rolled back down. I realised there're a few Chinese men sitting nearby and they saw what happened. One told me to forget it, the other helped me throw them back. So pai seh >_<

I wanted to eat Dark Chocolate flavoured Digestive Biscuits, so i took a bite of Dark Chocolate, and stuffed lots of Digestive Biscuits into my mouth, but all i got was Dark Chocolate, then Digestive Biscuits. BOO =(

Think that i need a new thumbdrive, but the PC Fair just ended -_-

I am jealous over something that isn't worth it. BAH.

Well, this is me. hahas!

I'm so tired i can't think of what i wanted to blog about. But i wanna watch 妻子的诱惑 leh.. How?

Suddenly thought of something. On the bus to work during peak hours, i was sitting in the front area, and it was packed. The driver screamed for the passengers to move back, but i don't see how 'cause from where i sit, it's really packed. But wham, the front is suddenly cleared. Did somebody lose the size of 10 people back there? Seriously. I hope it's not the school kids, if not i'll shout, "Damn NSKs!" hahas. EPIC.

Not-So-Happy National Day

2010-08-09T11:59:00.007+08:00

I am really disappointed. I mean, it's great that almost everybody wore red and white, and it's even better those who don't have red try to wear shades that are close to red, i guess it's greedy of me to want them to go along with the singing and dancing.. It's just, i'm not doing this only for myself, and i feel more than unappreciated, i feel like i'm just playing on my own, trying so hard to group them in, but i'm just bothering them, like they're so much better off without all my fancy tricks. We all know what will happen after the end-of-year performance, and i just want them to at least have some happy memories. I don't know about them, but all my happy memories seem to only happen a few years ago. This year has been extremely difficult, and i really want to make the best out of it. Even though it sucks, even though we're stuck at dance while others are out partaying, but that doesn't mean we can't have as much fun! Am i asking for too much?

Maybe because i've been met with one too many deaths and separations recently, i see the importance in making the best out of everyday because you truly will never know when you or that person beside you is gonna drop dead just like that. If you're in a hurry to go home, why do i still see you taking your own sweet time moments after you've left? I can really see how much you are into this celebration. It's lame, i know, fine then.

I feel hurt. I can't believe i'll ever feel this way towards them, and i just realised it's not the first time, but this time, there's no him by my side, supporting me this time - he's on the other side, fighting against me. Him, being another homosapien that's been bothering my already crowded mind. I guess the people that you hold closer tend to disappoint you more because of your existing expectations. Maybe it's also exhaustion that's getting me down. I've been cramping too many things into my recent 2 weeks it's finally taking a toll on my health, and we all know that's always my last straw. My health, like my family, is an excruciatingly tender spot.

Yet i am really grateful to those who put up with my nonsense, some of whom i never really expect to go with it: Ms Jenny, Chua Na, Sarah, Samantha, Elizabeth, Jocelene, Pepsi, Jia Hui, Jia Zhen, Shu Yue, Zina, Shawn and Aaron. It's these people that shine light in the overwhelming darkness. I know some of them are forced, but if they are really against it, i won't have the chance to make them do it, so i guess i can still say they wanna do it, and i'm really glad that they did.

Still, i must still thank them for wearing. Maybe they're wearing for the sake of it, but at least they did? For me, when i saw almost everybody wearing, it really felt different, in a really pleasant way. Like we're united, bonded in some uncomprehensible way, in our exclusive tight circle, and i feel belonged, proud even. I really hope everybody felt the same way. If they don't, at least i tried right?

Sometimes i don't understand why i bother. If it's making me so unhappy, and they don't even care, why keep banging my head against the wall right? Part of being stubborn yet optimistic i guess. But i'm growing tired of it all. If i just keep to my little circle, i'd be a lot happier, but if i succeed in looping everybody in, i get a sense of accomplishment as well. Well, no pain, no gain. But when there's too much pain and too little gain, is it still worth it?

Annoying Pains =/

2010-08-04T20:00:00.009+08:00

Hey there, let's recap.

Finally borrowed The Time Traveler's Wife last Sunday. Am hooked. Guess i haven't read a book for too long so i kinda miss it. Reading is so niceeee =)

Went for delivery at LongChamp Ion yesterday. Had to deliver a vase of Orchids, and i couldn't hug close 'cause the Orchids spray outwards and my body will definitely crush the flowers, and the buds kept whacking my face, so i had to hold it outwards, and LongChamp isn't exactly near so my arms were trembling when i came back with another vase. Muscle training huh?

Rushed down to Resorts World Sentosa to sign Letter of Appointment. It's huge, really. I feel like i'm in a different world. Everything's so huge and new and foreign. But the person i met, Cristabel, was in a rush so i didn't really get to look around. The theatre's huge and houses around 1600 seats, imgaine if we held our biennial there, and for example we have 20 people, so we each need to sell 80 tickets! How in the world am i suppose to find 80 willing souls?! The uniform's all black and i actually like it. I like the blouse, so crisp and smart =D Met a junior as well, Jolene, and it freaks me out that she already knows what she wants =S Guess everybody knows except me? The staff don't allow me to take the City Hall shuttle bus =( Last but not the least, i got a staff card! =D

Then i rushed down for Sprouts practise and rehearsal at LaSalle and Frontier respectively. Haven't been to LaSalle for quite long, the space intimidates me. On the other hand, the tiny space at Frontier's blackbox makes me feel comfortable, even though i've never been there. I like the floor and especially the air-con! Reminds me of my previous house..

Today i secretly took photos of the Lily Bouquet and Orchid Arrangement. So pretty right? Didn't take note of the price, but i'm sure it's pricey.

And i pricked my index finger today. Harder than usual, it's by the leaves lah -_- Dumb can? Didn't bleed but has a dent, and every time i use my index finger, it has this annoying pain =/

Fallen ill. Like =/ Throat inflammation apparently. It started yesterday, uncomfortable throat and induced headache, at night i couldn't breathe properly. This morning i woke up and i was like, "Shyat". I kept downing water, which also means i kept visiting the loo. It's just irritating, i can't even breathe without feeling the air scraping my throat. Water helps, even though i can't even feel the water flowing down, but as fast as it flows down, the ease wears off. Think i got it from my brother, but he's recovered though, which is good. My boss is also coughing. Fabulous. Just fabulous. I'm gonna shrink again lah. But i'm already wearing the smallest size possible. Any smaller i'll have to head to the Children's Department. Don't get me wrong, their clothes are not bad, but the salespeople don't allow me to buy =( One thing nice about the Western medicine is, the lozenges are Blackcurrant flavoured ^_^

Met Sze Ling under my block and she returned Zina's beige leotards, inside i found that. Her trademark. So sweet of her to include me as well =)

My cousin got that from Thailand. I have no idea what to do with it. I have lots of pouches which i can't find a use for them. Actually, it's more of i don't have space for them in my already crowded bag. But thanks anyway =)

I wonder who Shhkact Dance is. Damn funny that person. Talk like Mr Chong but the gender is female? Oh well.

I see a lot of things i want! Like the wallet ($49.90 YIKES) by HosannArt and the red starry backpack ($39.90) at Takashimaya B1, and the Back to Basics purple or red cardigan ($39.90 YIKES) and the East Village white dress ($49.90 YIKES) at Fox. All i want.. Boo. No money leh.

Visiting Gladys tomorrow. Then starting work at La Vie for the first time. So excited XD

Dinner and Dessert with Eli & Aaron

2010-07-31T13:48:00.005+08:00

Had to deliver this arrangement to Shaw Centre. Took the wrong lift all the way to 10th floor and down, and the correct one to 20th. Then nobody pick up the phone -_- My arms ache like mad but the flowers are PRETTY. White Eustoma, Purple and Red Roses, and Hydrangea. But heavy as well.

Met up with Eli and Aaron last night. Wanted to eat Ishimura but it's not open for business =( Had Subway in the end and Mr Bean's 汤圆 for desserts! Mine's all Black Sesame. Yummy. Loitered a lot and saw a lot of things that i want! NOOOO. hahas. I realised after all these months, i still like FOX =/ To think i wannna change a brand 'cause it's too obvious and expensive! But now i have my eye on one of their white dress and purple cardigan, i'm planning to wait for their sale. NOOOO. hahas. And i quite like Adiprene, so pretty. But don't really need it and it's way too expensive. Ahhh. Why everything i see is expensive? =/ Or maybe, why is everything the shops selling expensive?

We also bought macaroons from 1 Caramel 'cause it's offering at $1! We only found out it's not inclusive of GST when we paid -_- Anyway, it's tiny, and the flavours are Chocolate, Strawberry and Orange Chocolate. Not as sweet, strong tasting or crispy as Bakerzin's.

But so sad i never watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice with them =( Oh well. 赚钱赚钱赚钱！Main goal!

I wanna go watch NDP with Pei Yi today.. But i have dance! Boo. Dance is priority now. Always has been. Oh well. Gotta leave home soon. For dance. Bah.

The Truth - Kris Allen

Lyin' next to you
Wishing I could disappear...aay
Let you fall asleep
And vanish out into thin air..aay

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's the avalanche that looms above our heads.
And we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect
Tryin' not to let you down...ooww
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
while the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

I still keep your photographs
I remember how we used to laugh
I can keep on losin' sleep
If you're okay with being torn in half.

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's an avalanche that looms above our heads
But we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down...oww
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning
And let the rain come in.
Stop pretending that it's not ending
And let the end begin.

Oh yeah...

Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down...yeah
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

It's easier than telling the truth...

Nicest song i've heard from Kris Allen so far, but it's only been the third song lah. hahas! Eli this is the song i recommended you! So emo.. =P

That's all folks!

Angsty Rage

2010-07-28T21:44:00.015+08:00

I am feeling really irritated i don't know why. I've been feeling like this since Monday, and today i wasn't feeling well in the morning so i didn't go for work. I thought i was feeling all that 'cause of the lack of rest the past week, but i slept till three in the afternoon, so i shouldn't still feel irritated, right?

I think it's my mother. I always feel irritated when she speaks, i really don't know why. I just want everybody to shut up, to leave me alone. I feel angsty. I want everything to stop. I want to run away. I want to know what's happening, or maybe not. Who knows anything, anyway?

Bust Your Windows - Mercedes (Glee)

I bust the windows out your car
And no it didn't mend my broken heart
I'll probably always have these ugly scars
But right now I don't care about that part

I bust the windows out your car
After I saw you laying next to her
I didn't wanna but I took my turn
I'm glad I did it 'cause you had to learn

I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel, when you saw it
I didn't know that I had that much strength
But I'm glad you see what happens when

ha ha ha ha

I bust the windows out your car
You know I did it 'cause I left my mark
Wrote my initials with the crowbar
And then I drove off into the dark

I bust the windows out ya car
You should feel lucky that that's all I did
After five whole years of this bullshit
Gave you all of me & you played with it

I bust the windows out ya car

The original singer is someone name Jazmine Sullivan. I felt rage when i heard this song. Empowered as well, with a vengence. I don't think you guys know how that feels, i don't think i really understand as well, but as powering as it is, i think none should ever have or need to feel that way.

Zu You's enlisting tomorrow. I'm gonna miss him real bad =( I think the 加油站板 isn't only for him, but maybe for me as well. Let's 加油 together..

Work So Far..

2010-07-21T14:12:00.008+08:00

I'm quite lazy to recount my first day and all =P But it was quite pressurising, the standards my colleagues want me to meet >_< And everybody whispers. I had to guess like 60% of what they say. The boss likes to short-cut, she'll hand you a vase filled with water, say, "Wash. Here" with her palm slicing the side of the vase, and you have to decipher that she's saying, "Pour the water away, wash the vase, and fill it back up to here". The Retail Advisor also commented on my attire: No sneakers, dark-coloured socks and are those jeans? -_- Oh man. But i had a better time on my second day! Pei Ru was really nice and fun! We even went to Hermes during our work time! hahas. It was for delivery lah. First time ever stepping into a branded store! I'm gonna go there again next week i hope! =D She even accompany me to Dhoby Ghaut after work, talked a lot =) Quite like her.

Work so far has been fine lah. A lot of things to do, especially in the morning. Cleaning the whole big fridge takes 3 hours even though there were like 2 of us. Of course i'm deterring her lah, but the moving the flowers in and out, wiping, sweeping, mopping takes up a lot of time, not to mention for fragile flowers such as lilies, you have to take them out STALK BY STALK, then the vase, and you put them back in the same sequence >_< I wonder what a chor lor girl like me is doing with all these brittle flowers. The orchids too. And everytime i wipe the shelves, i have to concentrate so much, if not i'll just swing and the vases will come falling off the shelves and land with a loud shatter. Did i mention the shop is REALLY quiet? But i don't mind doing all the menial work lah, really. What's that compared to the saikangs at huay kuan man? hahas! I quite like this job. The hours are short, and it's not stressful. It's calming to a certain extend, which i desperately need. That means i'm not earning a lot though, but my feet hurts even though it's only rthat short few hours. And it's stressfull 'cause almost everybody's been working for years. There are a lot of dust and pollens, i seriously hope i'm allergic to none.

I need to buy new shoes for work.. But i'm feeling really lazy, yet if i don't buy, my Retail Advisor may sack me. Oh did i mention there used to be a guy who was sacked for wearing jeans? Crazy man, Japanese companies. No offence =X

Met up with Xiao Xin last night and she was so feminine in her dress and heels! Catch up a bit, she's as crazy as ever, but had to control herself because she's an educator! hahas! I can't believe she's into K-Pop as well -_- But, it brightened me up when she said we should do this more often. We should =D

On a side note, i've got 2 souvenirs this week!

From Samantha and Sarah! It's made of cow skin (So sorry Zina) and it's from Sze Chuan if i'm not wrong..

From Li Ting! From Korea! Xiao Xin mixed up our presents, so mine has Xiao Xin's name on it.. She didn't even realise there's a name on it. hahas.

Last Weekday to Skive

2010-07-16T14:47:00.007+08:00

I'm bored and a tad tired, but it'll be my last weekday that i can slack. I've found a job as a Florist Assistant at Takashimaya Departmental Store. I'm quite psyched about it yet sian that i have to start work. Oh well, no work no money and i need moolah! And being at home all day with nothing constructive to do, and be on call by Mr Chong isn't exactly fun either, so why not take charge and go do some real work right? It's not gonna be easy, lots of menial work and all but i'm fine i guess, anything to take my mind off things, and fill my bank with cash! $_$ The boss seemed a tad rigid, but nice lah, and the other colleagues seemed to be nice as well =) I hope this goes well and soon i get a payrise! =D

Going to a preview class on History and Perspective of Psychology hosted by SMa later. Since it's free, just go los. Don't know what to expect, but i hope my interest will last! >_<

I'm excited about my future plans as well! But all of which involves money =( This is why i need a job! I'm planning to take two jobs, but i don't know whether i'm allowed.. Hmmm. Do i need to mention this on my second interview?

I need to detox, detox! All the acnes, blackheads and pimples are residing on my face. Boo =(

----

Hehe. So i didn't go in the end. Don't feel right. Can't explain why. Went to 阿公's house with parents instead. Mum brought back lots of antiques, heavy. I didn't come home empty-handed, i got myself a bag of Lay's. Hehe. =D

Remember i mentioned about detox, but when you walk home with Macdonald's in hand on an empty stomach, it seemed as though the fries ladden with guilt are calling out to your hands. Temptation. So hard to resist. That's why fast food are so popular, not only are their location convenient, their food too.

Realised it's a big mistake to wear flowy. short skirts on a windy, rainy day, with a big umbrella that needs a little pull to open up. Pulling stirs the wind and blow my skirt up in the wrong direction -_- Luckily there were only a mother and daughter behind me, but still, EMBARRASSING.

Just when i thought everything's fine, it comes back and hit you when you least expect. I guess it's more of a wake up call. These few days i've been racking my brains to come up with a topic for my 感想, but all i came up with are gloom and anger, which ain't exactly positive. 老师's vetting it, so i'm sure i won't get a pass for it. Ahhhh. How now brown cow?

All of a sudden, i miss 阿公..

Ajisen After Dance =)

2010-07-11T12:12:00.006+08:00

Actually i'm lazy to blog, but since i've mentioned i'm gonna blog and Zina keeps visiting but see nothing so i must blog lah ah. hahas.

Let's talk about "today". Planned a class then dinner afterwards but only a handful showed up. So diappointed =( I understand that they are tired and have tons of homework to work on and this is a rare opportunity to do so with dance out of the way but still.. Oh well. It was alright i suppose, lesser people so ended qiute early.

We got KOI! =D Like finally. Bought Milk Tea, 50% sugar, but it was a tad bitter for me. Wanted to watch Despicable Me, but only front 4 rows were left =(

Ended up with Ajisen. Shawn and Aaron came to join us for dinner, and i'm kinda glad we had a niche group, 'cause we can gossip all we want! XD

Was waiting for Aaron so we ordered his Volcano Ramen first. Shawn decided to give it a try..

Classic man. Verdict: He couldn't take the heat. Let's see how Zina does..

Verdict: No kick for Zina! hahas.

Later which we loitered around and that's when Shawn and gang decides to pull my leg by feigning that my bottle is lost -_- I nearly died of panic man. It's the second time this year =/

Lastly we went to NTUC and i don't know why, our background are shelves of chips. Aaron failed at self-group shots, the last successful one is by me. Heh =D

Bought Post's Alpha-Bits for $3.90. Ngee Ann City's Cold Storage also sells it for the same price. I quite like it. 甜甜的。I like. They don't have all the 26 alphabets, so when the back of the box suggested games of spelling, i don't know how many words you can come up with when 60% of the cereal is made up of letters 'B's and 'R's. Hmmm. I had to bite the 'B's to form 'E's, and i got a really lousy 'L'. At least i wanted it to be 'L'.

Ta-dah. That's all folks.

Deadly Questions. Late Appreciation.

2010-07-08T15:11:00.008+08:00

WOUHOU. I woke up at around, 45 minutes ago? =P Which meant i slept like, 12 hours! It's crazy, considering my sleeping time for the past week ranges from 3 to 7 hours. My biological clock is seriously screwed!

Have been busy yet not so busy the past 4 days. It's just been a crazy week, or weeks for my extended family, although it's heartless to say this, but i think everybody feels more relieved now, in a bad way of course, but i hope, wherever my 阿公 is now, he's feeling so much better and liberated =] It's a pity i didn't know my 阿公 well enough, i barely know him at all! But the past few visits to the hospital, listening to him sigh in his extremely amusing way, and the way he goes on and on, i guess it's better than nothing. Now we're just busy with the funeral, and for the first time, i enjoyed being around my extended family. Everybody's all grown up, no PS/DS/Gameboy/iPhone, all we do is sit together in the enclosed area, folding or burning 金银纸s, and we actually get to eat dinner together (families nowadays either don't or can't) so we can actually have a decent chat, and of course inject lots of lame jokes and provoke one another. Of course those who are 12 years and below (exclusing my brother) are more of a pain sometimes, and one 16 year old. I get to see how the kids are either an exact replica of their parents or how they turn out because of excessive indulging, i sincerely hope that they grow up to be better person, and that if i were to have a kid in the future, he/she will not be a nuisance. I was and am guilty of being a nuisance myself. I used to be the queen (according to my mum) in my closer cousins' family, and i ask too many 'Why's. I still ask too many 'Why's =P I still have much more (because i can't keep track of how many anymore) questions, a lot i don't dare to ask 'cause it offends, but suddenly, death is such an intriguing subject. How is it that we are alright with spending days and nights, cuddling beside a preserved corpse? Don't the dead repel most people? No offence, but you see why i don't dare to question my elders. The funeral also made me decide that i want those rituals when i die, because they are our heritage and culture, things that youngsters now know nothing about, and is unfortunately lost in time. It may be environmentally degrading, but it keeps our culture alive. One good thing is that, there are recycled 金银纸s now. How cool is that. And the chants stay stuck in my head. Another question pops up: Humans evolve and so do our music, so do the prefence on music of deities change? Are they into Mainstream Pop or Heavy Metal now? And this question that have always been with me: If everybody goes up or down when they decease, isn't it uber crowded up and down there? Are they not on Earth, that their world isn't round so they can keep expanding? At the same time, it's ironic that death brings us together. Better than nothing huh?

I'm sort of glad that i lost almost everything before 阿公's health start deteriorating. I don't have to worry about anything, able to focus, and can be there for anybody or anything when the time comes. Of course at the same time it's excruciating, to not have him by my side supporting me, giving me a hug now and then, instead he keeps breaking my heart and hurting me. But, i see another side of my world. My friends. Everybody who stood by me, never leaving at times like this, all those care and concern be it face-to-face, phone calls, Facebook, SMSes, all very touching, and things that he never did even when i called him personally to break the news. I've neglected my dear friends, but they were still here, long after he has left, and i'm speechless. I hope it's not too late.. Too all of you who's been there for me, and those who willing picks up their phone even if i call in the middle of the night, 我由衷地感谢你们！

Now i worry about when it ends. Being busy takes my mind off things, but at the same time it means i'm not dealing with it. I know my friends will be there, but we all know no matter what, you still have to face it alone and nobody in this world can save you, unless it's the person who did it to you. 解铃人还需系铃人。This verse has always stayed with me ever since Nattaporn mentioned it to me. That story goes long back.

Some lady name Xue Lian from AIA called and mentioned that her boss saw my resume from JobsCentral and would like me to go for a relaxing selection interview next Monday as a telemarketer. She claims that they need manpower, so my job is to make outgoing calls to invite people for an interview, which i deduce is what she is doing. Sounds contradicting and dubious at the same time, but no harm trying right? It's all the way at Alexandra.. Oh well, i can go walk walk at Queenstown Shopping Mall or Ikea. Yay! =D

I'm tired again. And about to get hungry.. But dinner's not till an hour later, and i'm physically half hour away from it!

风筝-孙燕姿

我不要将你多绑住一秒
我也知道天空多美妙
请你替我瞧一瞧

天上的风筝哪儿去了
一眨眼不见了
谁把它的线剪断了
你知不知道
从前的我们哪儿去了
路太远我忘了
如果你想飞我明了
你自由也好

我不要将你多绑住一秒
我也知道天空多美妙
请你替我瞧一瞧

看你穿跃云端飞得很高
站在山上的我大声叫喔～
也许你呀不会听到
把梦想找到要过得更好

我不要爱情的低潮喔～
我会微笑眼泪不准掉
我很好后来的你好不好
你会知道我没有走掉
回忆飞进风里了

天上的风筝哪儿去了?

Bet you all forgot about this song right? It was stuck it my head during random mornings for the past few days. Now i understand what it means, and how it feels. It's amazing, perspective. It changes with time, experience and environment. And it keeps changing. So cool.

Interesting Hang Out

2010-07-03T00:57:00.006+08:00

Now i know how Zu You feels when i kept hanging out with Edmund.. Oh well. What goes around comes around, right? It's not too late i guess..

The day when i wanna get some sun on my skin, it rained the whole day -_- And i really wanted to take some photos =( I can still smell the sunscreen, and baffling enough, i thought i smelt like popcorn at one point in time! hahas. I think it was really popcorn.

The surprisingly long talk at Macdonald's brought new perspective. It made things sort of more confusing, but at the same time clearer. It's amazing how he never fails to bring complexity to my life, even though he wasn't physically present. Life just never stays simple, does it? I'm glad i asked Zhong Hao out, i can see he's a really valuable friend. All the qualities you can find in 武侠小说。Amusing to a certain extent. I guess i don't mind hanging out with him again, though we may not have anything to talk about since our main topic is done, and the venue of his choice for our next hang out (if there's ever gonna be one) has quite a few objections from me, but we'll see. It was an interesting hang out nonetheless =) And i think i look fine. He hasn't seen the worst =P

And i can't believe i did not buy KOI! Oh well. Save money, be healthy. Healthy. What a killer topic it was.

失恋无罪 - aLin

你说我对你紧紧跟随
你觉得疲惫
你一句话就逼我撤退
没想到你说最近选择
－个人睡
我忍住眼泪我尊重眼泪

孤独万岁失恋无罪
谁保证一觉醒来有人陪
我对于人性早有预备
还不算太黑
独身万岁失恋无罪
爱不够爱你的人才受罪
用过去悲伤换来自由
难道不珍贵

一个人崩溃
并不是在犯罪

I love this song. Power lyrics complemented by a power voice. POWER. hahas. If only we could all find the courage within ourselves to stand up once again..

再靠近一点点，就和你牵手。。

2010-06-27T00:36:00.007+08:00

Went to dance today, main purpose was to accompany Zina. Felt guilty the other time when she complained that she was left alone with the kids. From what i see, it doesn't seem she felt out of place.. Maybe dance camp bonded them further, i don't know. What i do know is, she doesn't feel as stressed when i'm there. I'm the eldest, i guess i took over whatever responsibilities 老师 always places on her, so she doesn't look like she's not enjoying anything. So my purpose ain't to accompany her, but to relief her of her load. Suppose i did serve it then.

Dance camp did good for the kids. I saw the results today. They weren't following anymore at the barre. Well, most of them. Their 身韵 was better as well. When i saw them stayed back and danced 烟盒, i saw the passion and enthusiasm 老师 saw in them. They have indeed improved, and they reminded me of us when were young. Emphasis is on the past tense. What we wouldn't do to get our youth and vigour back, but it's just not the same. There are pros and cons lah, but what we have isn't enough for her i guess. Without age and experience, we can never dance the emo dance or the boat dance well, isn't it? Oh well. I should have given up on this long ago, shouldn't i? I do envy their energy. It was ten when i left, they were still roaring with laughter, watching DVD, imitating the pas de deux. What i loved to do when i was still in secondary school. No worries, no complications. Just passion and i. Ignorance is bliss.

After five years, i still feel odd. I was trying my best to pick up Peter Gn's choreography, but they were more interested in Chinese Dance. Even after 3 different batch of dancemates in huay kuan, the scenario never changed. I don't know whether it's more appropriate to laugh or cry. The oxymoron. And i was right. Missing a teacher's first lesson is really bad. Oh well.

I did gain something i guess. 老师 taught new 身韵组合, and i was there to learn from the top! And Yong Xin was there as well! Made me feel a bit at home. But of course she left after that and i'm all alone again. That, felt like five years ago as well. Some things just never change, does it?

靠近-庾澄慶

世界如此宽
距离总是让我们无法坦白
闭上眼睛总有一些面孔
一些片段浮在心上
寂寞也如此宽

世界如此忙
忙得你和我都失去了判断
赢了所有　失去最初的梦
最爱的人　最好时光
一切不能重来

靠近你就在今晚
感受彼此心中温暖
能不能
靠近我就在今晚
不要再让彼此遗憾
在今晚

Another emo song. And you guys should be sick of love songs by now. hahas.

'Cause When A Heart Breaks, No, It Don't Breakeven.

2010-06-24T17:11:00.007+08:00

因为一个人，我发现我竟然可以如此爱一个人、如此地付出。
因为这个人，我找到了幸福、从没有的快乐与归属感，到最后的痛苦、寂寞、不解于无奈。
因为同个人，我变得自私、疯狂、霸道，成天只想逃跑。

对不起，那些真正爱我的人。谢谢你，一直在我身边，扶持我，聆听着。我知道不该再为了一个心不在我身上的人而继续伤心，但我怎么能说不爱就不爱呢？我不是他，我做不到。

Breakeven - The Script

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
Cos you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
(Oh glad your okay now)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(Oh I'm glad your okay)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
(Lyrics from AZLyrics)

A song introduced by Aaron. I guess we all know how it feels.

MC again =/

2010-06-04T13:38:00.013+08:00

Haven't blogged in a long time, kinda lost touch. Don't know how to start or what to type about.. Well, here goes.

It sucks to take MC really. I would rather take leave and go on a holiday. Of course it all doesn't pay (literally), and MC costs money and time. The time to queue up, the cost of consultation and medicine. Last but the least, MEDICATION. Went to a new clinic all the way at Admiratly, 'cause i don't think HR will accept non-panel doctors anymore.. Turns out that the doctor is full of herself. I mean, it's hard to judge who somebody really is in 15 minutes, but really, lower your nose a little, enunciate a bit clearer, add some light in your eyes and lift the corners of your mouth, you'd be such a nice lady. I can't imagine how kids react around you. Maybe the clinic's small, but it sure was crowded. Don't see the appeal at all, seriously. Maybe she's damn good. Well she better be. My medicine costs $105, now that's a bomb. Not to mention the whole series of tests i'll have to put myself through if the medication fails, which is another bomb altogether. She also requested that i split my usual 3 meals into 5. Where do i find the time to take 5 meals per day?! And it's really too much medication (7 pills i have to take in a go) T_T Boo..

The upside of it, is that i get to sleep in and rest. I need it. My gastric is killing me. I don't get it. There's nothing wrong. Physically. Then what is wrong? Don't give me the crap about stress. I don't feel stressed up anymore. I still have anxiety, and it's true i couldn't sleep well again last night (on top of that i had a nightmare), but i really have nothing to be stressed about. Work is getting boring 'cause the usual stuff i'm getting the hang of it, and new/extra stuff are not allocated to me anymore, so actually, there isn't any stress technically. Dance is same old same old, but i'm helping out with the preparations for the bi-annual performance, which isn't really picking up yet so no stress there as well. Confidence level is flat, and i'm really scared to make mistakes in every region, regardless with work, dance, or with Edmund. That's stress i guess. He tells me that we have to make mistakes to learn, that's true of course, but in circumstances such as in a surgery room or two-timing, do you really wanna make mistakes? Of course that's extreme and way out of my league, but still, who would wanna make mistakes if you can prevent it, right? Maybe i've changed, but the me now, i don't wanna make any mistakes. Perfectionist? Not really. I do wish to make things perfect, but i don't wish for everybody to be perfect. I'm just afraid. Afraid of regrets. Guess when you're older, you not only wise up, you tend to think before you act. I used to be uber rash, everything just do first then see how. Guess i made a lot of mistakes and i don't want to be like that anymore? I haven't really regretted anything i've done so far, because all the mistakes i've made, made me learn a lot, and brought me to where i am. However, with age catching up and all, if i make a mistake now, won't i be too old to start all over? Realising that i didn't have a plan, and still don't have makes me nervous? Years have past, i still have not come into terms with how some people know exactly what they want in their future, let alone 5 years' time. Marriage as well. How do you know? Some people give me logical answers, some give me "i just know" or "when the time comes you'll know", WHEN? Plus, my health. It's taking a toll on me. It bothers me a lot that i cannot engage in normal activities (specifically what i had no problems doing it in the past) without getting pains everywhere. I'm not even of legal age, how can i be OLD?! I just need an answer. Maybe it's not good enough either. I've never been a sick kid, the one that sits indoors, watching other kids run around like crazy, perspiring, and getting their knees scraped for falling down, then stand up and run again. I cannot accept that i'm the one cooped up inside, not the one outside getting scolded for being mischevious. Like just now, Dad bought a packet of rice, 5kg, and i couldn't help him carry it. He's aged, injured, while i'm YOUNG and has a higher threshold, WHY CAN'T I BLOODY CARRY 5KG WORTH OF RICE?! I'm engaging in negative thoughts, Edmund'll be mad if he reads this. I just find it hard to pick myself up from this.. And he's running out of patience.. If it really helps, i'll eat fruits and vegetables everyday.

I've kinda succeeded in picking up my confidence in dance. I don't beat myself up or give up that easily anymore at dance. I'm beginning to come into terms with her choreography. It's still something i dislike, but i guess it's not that bad. It's something new, but i can foresee that the practices after she finish the choreography would suck, big time. She was disappointed with 追逐。 I think we were alright leh.. But you'll never know unless you watched the video. Everytime i think we were great, the video always says otherwise. It has been so ever since i started dance, i don't get why. After spending 4 years in Modern Dance, my running actually SUCKS. Like hello? I used to be the best in the previous class lah! But it's unfair, 'cause they weren't good to begin with, so i'm just the best among the worst. Pathetic. But i thought i was better than this though.. Sigh.

I'm trying to pick up new things, like helping her with publicity and printing. It's something i've never tried before, and i'm kinda excited. Haven't been excited for quite some time. Perked me up a bit =)

I feel pregnant again. Ever since i took the pills for nausea, my appetite improved tremendously. Even though i feel full to the chest the whole day, i still crave for something to eat, just like last year when i started getting sick. I had rice at noon, now i'm itching for something to munch on! And thanks to Food Fair that just ended, i have a lot of junk at home >_< I don't mind growing fat actually. I'm too thin. Not Jocelene-thin, but too thin for myself. But i can't eat much or eat good food =(( It really sucks to have an illness that stops you from eating. Guess it's better than allergy? Can you imagine if i'm allergic to say, chocolates? Just kill me. hahas.

Speaking about chocolates, i don't realy like eating Fruit & Nuts Chocolates. If they come in a flat, rectangular tin (the ones we have for Chinese New Year), at least i know which contains nuts, which has raisins. The ones in packets however, are totally mindscrewing. I got this huge one, which i know for sure would be almond, but turns out to be this huge raisin instead. ARGH. Who knew they have such big raisins? Kena cheated can? Yes, i prefer the ones with nuts. Not Macademia though. I know what you're thinking, don't gush. Everybody has their own preferences, you should have known that i'm like this if i don't eat vegetables.

There's so much stuff i wanna do, but so little time. First, i MUST tidy up my room after i leave. Second, i must find a new job BEFORE i leave, which is highly impossible at the rate i'm moving.

I need to start using my organiser. My memory's failing me. Should swtich to using a pencil..

My birthday's still quite far away, but i need a lot of things which i am, of course, lazy to find and buy (not to mention i'm such a nitpick), so yep, i would appreciate if you guys would buy them for me as birthday presents! =D But only if you are planning to. If you're not, it's totally alright. I prefer sincerity over materials.

Alright. Shall start with my wishlist now.

----

I actually forgot that i wanted to start my wishlist >_< But that's besides the point. Came back to share a conversation i heard at work:

Tay saw this other colleague (let's name him "同事") and nagged about his hair.
Tay: 为什么你的头发那么乱？
同事:好看吗！
Tay:好看ｍｅｈ？像杂草一样。
同事:现在流行吗！你不懂ｍｅｈ？你那么ｏｕｔ的啊？
Tay:为什么你喜欢？
同事:跟别人不一样吗。。
Tay: 要跟别人不一样ha？真受不了你。

Moments later Tay was in a brawl with Jinxi (his subordinate). He's twice my age. Go figure.

Yep. Those are my colleagues alright.

Same Old Brand New Me

2010-05-14T22:00:00.007+08:00

It's 10 and i'm actually not sleeping. hahas! 'Cause i can wake up later tomorrow. WOOHOO.

I'm struck with a same-old-brand-new problem.

*cues Same Old Brand New You by A1 in the background*

Had a discussion today, brought up lots of problems and he's pleasantly surprise that i am able to list all the stuff and problems, shows that i'm aware of what's going on. I feel good about myself for the first time in 2 months. I get the false feeling that this is it, this is where it all changes for the better. It seemed like the point where i can let go of all the past, let go of all that miseries, and i can stay for another month, another year. Not only that, i have so much responsibilities to fulfill, all the unsolved problems, all the things i have to do, all of them depending on me.. But i cannot stay.. GAH. How, how, how? How do i break it to them? How do i leave? 我怎么可以留下一大堆烂摊子，拍拍屁股走人？Can i be that heartless? Like Gen said, i should think of myself, because at the end of the day, it's me.

I want to leave. I feel so much happier thinking what i can do when i leave, what i am able to accomplish. Maybe i won't do it(like i always do =P), but at least i don't have the excuse of no time, too busy, or too tired. I really want time off. I know partner'll tell me, "take leave!", but i don't wanna stay there. It's making me unhappy, making him unhappy. I thought i have the whole weekend to think over whether i wanna leave, but maybe it's the whole weekend to think of how to break the news. Guilt is all that's holding me back, that's why i'm so against getting closer to them, 'cause it'll be harder to leave, knowing they are good, nice people.. Oh man. How now, brown cow?

And. The video of the Singapore Cheer is stupid. Like that lousy effigy of 龟派气功。'No' just comes into my head, and occupies what's left of it. I ain't got a big brain, but if it occupies the whole of it, it's still a lot.. I guess.

Just watched 败犬女王 on channel U. I used to watch these shows and go, "Why are they so dumb? Like each other then be together lah! Why be with people you don't like?!" I wasn't wrong thinking like that, but now i know things are more complex, and somethings i wish i didn't stumble upon.

Okay i'm too tired to continue. Watching Alice on AXN Beyond. TV version of Alice in Wonderland. Too tired to continue that as well.

Tata for now.

Dental MC

2010-05-12T19:45:00.005+08:00

Article: If looks could kill.. This is funny, really. I wonder if it happens on women? But it should have different effects, right? They never mention. So all my male friends out there, STOP OOGLING AT PRETTY GIRLS (or at least those you think are). hahas!

On MC again, that's why so free. I quite enjoyed today, even though i'm really worried about work, but i got the time to buy Seventeen, finish it, come online do a bit of research and mail clearing, upload photos on Facebook, and now blog! HOW RARE IS THAT?! It's sort of a waste of time, but i guess resting is like that.

Went to see the doctor, and he told me i must go to the dentist. I know that, what i don't know is whether the dentist is able to give me an MC. Went to the dentist afterwards, guess what? He issued me an MC! Alamak. Should have just went there. Save time, money and resources =/ Now i don't know which MC to submit. Dad said submitting both shows how serious it is, but doesn't it show that you're kiasu or something? This time the dental experience is so much better. The dentist was nice, and he was gentle to my teeth. I don't have tingling or teeth-about-to-drop sensation after scaling. Nice. And i feel that my teeth is SOOOO CLEAN =D And i'm glad no extraction required! Oh and the first doctor gave me lotion for my tongue ulcer. Problem is, i can't see my ulcer, so i anyhow apply. Guess that and painkillers work, 'cause i munched like nobody's business in late afternoon, AND IT DIDN'T HURT!! Hurray! You have no idea how enjoyable it is to eat without pausing due to the pain. I frowned so much yesterday, i felt like my forehead could permanently be that way. But it wore off and started to hurt again when i ate porridge. At least it's less painful than mixed rice i had for lunch yesterday at the canteen. It doesn't hurt as long as i don't move my mouth, but i had to talk at work, and there wasn't pleasant things to soothe it, i was in a constant headache. Not to mention headaches caused by the endless work i have to do! Today i feel a lot better, heavy head, but i didn't had to speak much, so it's really good! And i had no stress of course! =D Haven't felt this way for so long. 休息真的是要走更长远的路！Of course, i don't know whether it can bring me through the rest of the week....

I feel bad, planning to leave, but people told me to put myself in front of others, because in the end, it's about me. I've left several places before, but because i know they don't need me. They don't need me much now, but still, nobody's there to do the job.. It's killing me to stay, killing him as well, for us, i should learn to be heartless huh? I'm just glad i haven't formed much bond with anybody, and i do it deliberately, just so that i can leave without much worries. 忽然间要自私起来，好像没想象中容易。但自古以来，不都是人不为己、天诛地灭吗？I feel so much better picturing the future when i leave this place. Of course it's scary, since i'm more of less settled, and that i may not succeed, or that it may not be all rainbows and butterflies, but at least i took a step out, it's better than being stuck, right?

Back to whine

2010-04-27T20:34:00.006+08:00

I know you guys would go, "Yay! She's blogging again!" but no.. I'm here to whine.

I would like to blog decently, really. If only i have time. I thought everything would be fine, but no, really. Had so much going on i just wanna walk away, but i can't.

Now i've lost the mood to blog too. ARGH. Nevermind.

It's only APRIL.

Which do you prefer: You never have to worry about money and stuff, get to do what you want, when you want, but your lifespan is halved as compared to having to worry about money and everything, can't always do what you want, when you want, but you get to live a long life.

If the half lifespan is considerably enough, i actually don't mind dying earlier. I mean, what's the point of living a ripe. old age only to worry about almost everything and can't really do what you want? Maybe it's just me now talking. Having my EVERY SINGLE DAY taken up for things i don't enjoy is really miserable. If only i'm not sensible or worrisome, i'll be halfway across the globe right now. Yea, i wish.

Airplanes - B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams

Love this song.

Hello Not-So New Desk

2010-03-17T20:07:00.010+08:00

I took a photo of my not-so new desk but it's not in my phone -_- Shall take another and post it here next time.

Today is my first day without Tan. SO SCARY. I stared for what seemed hours at the MRP, then decided to ask Chin for help. It took me the whole afternoon, and ended up i had to get Chin to help me issue P/O >_< I'm so sorry. My plan was to finish MRP, issue P/O, key in received goods and all the whatnots, and maybe tidy up the stacks of papers on his trays, in his drawers, and surrounding the monitor, which my photo would have done all the talking if it was IN my phone =/ Anyway, i only managed to do the whatnots, and i have NOT finished them. I work like what, 9 hours? All i did was finish MRP (and there were some discrepancies), do a bit of filing and key in the received goods. I wondered what i was doing the whole day. But it seemed i had a lot to do, 'cause the day passed by in flash. Especially the last 2 hours, Chin and i were figuring out the MRP, then a supplier came and he had to introduce me. The supplier was really nice and even bought us 1A Curry Puffs, which one of my colleagues took all home. They kept chit chatting and i was lost the minute they launch into Work-Talk. I hate when i immediately tune out, but realised moments after that i should be listening. This always happens ever since i started work. Worse is when they are talking to ME and i tune out halfway unconsciously. Panicked when i realised, but too bad i cannot tell them, "Hey sorry i was in another world, could you repeat that?" =/ Then i had to rush back to key ONE P/O, try to tidy up the place and leave some notes for Chin, and the bell rang. The colleague who took back the curry puffs even laughed at me, for announcing that i will pack up the place so i can move over, but when he walked past, it's messier than ever. It puzzles me how Tan managed to work with all those piles, and Finance and the supervisors breathing down his neck for paperwork lost in those piles he accumulated. My department in the system is finally correct and i can apply leaves and whatnots online successfully. I changed like, 3 departments to get it right -_-

Yesterday, we ordered pizzas from Pizza De France, it's alright lah, but i personally prefer Pizza Hut 'cause of the crust. Our colleague ordered a lot, and dumb thing is, nobody knows what flavour, and the first i picked had to be something really spicy (which i can't find on the website =/ I think it's Spicy Macho) and i didn't had a drink so i was choking but was too embarrassed to say anything. Our department is rather huge, we occupied like 1 3/4 of the long tables in the canteen. I find it so cool to see so many pizzas lay across the table. Oh, i took the photos in discreet, hence the angle and everything. I realised, as always, i'm the only one who takes photos. I was still expecting some photographer-wannabe or some huge group photo or something. So disappointing! The guy in white is form Japan's Epson, and yes, those green things, are our uniform. So Japanese right? Am really sad that Tan left, even though i've only known him for 7 days, but he's a nice guy lah. Why do the nice people always have to go? I'm also sad that i have to move away from Jia Yan, to Tan's table. I don't mind sitting beside Mei Yin, she's been working for 7 years, so she can teach me EVERYTHING, but i prefer Jia Yan out of everybody. We can talk about dance too, that is like, WOW. Hard to find a dancer, or rather ex-dancer, nowadays.

Today on our way back, our bus driver didn't brake even though the mini van in front stopped at a T-junction, and crashed into the van. The front window cracked, and i think the bus left a dent on the mini van's butt. I banged into the seat in front, and my mouth and chin hurt, but me being me, i said i was fine when Richard asked. Can you imagine if i sit in the first row? I would have been Supergirl! Everybody was frightened, think the uncle was too. Richard told me half year ago, their bus banged into the car in front, and a lorry behind banged into them, and another bus had to come pick them up. What's wrong with all these bus drivers man? For the whole ride i was a bit uptight. I saw that the uncle nearly didn't brake and was about to kiss the blue taxi in front. OMG lah. When i alighted, i wanted to tell the uncle, "小心开车", but i guess he would feel insulted so i decided not to. So scary, and there are no seat belts! hahas.

Having this job is so life-less. I wake up super early, reach home in the evening, and only have a couple of hours before i need to hit the sack and the routine starts all over again. Then there's dance in the weekend, and i can only go out on a Saturday morning. I'm becoming even more anti-social than i already am!

Cookies and Cream ice-cream on Chocolate Chip Waffle from Gelare. YUMMY-LICIOUS. But we had it on Monday so it was damn expensive. Too bad we only have Mondays together =( Oh well, better than nothing i suppose.

And i realised nobody commented on my previous post's title, i suppose nobody caught it. It's no surprise, even i didn't catch it at first. hahas. Zu will be so hurt reading this XD

Epson, Present

2010-03-10T20:16:00.005+08:00

Wow. It's been more than a month since i've last blogged! Guess nobody's reading anymore huh? Maybe nobody's reading at all since it's boring. hahas.

Anyway, hasn't been updating 'cause my Internet has been down till a couple of weeks ago. Then i was busy. Truly. Been going out a lot after work.

In case most of you still don't know, i'm no longer with OpenNet. Currently with Epson. Office hours, but i have to wake up a lot earlier to catch the free transportation. The nearest stop is a few blocks away, and really early. I reach the company more than half hour before i start work, but so does some others. It's quite taxing for me, i don't really mind waking up, a bit reluctant on reaching early, but it really sucks that i have to learn from a guy who's been working for 5 years in a week's time 'cause he's leaving this Friday. 5 years, cramped into 1 week. Of course my bosses are really nice, kept asking me not to stress and stuff like that, but i really hate to screw up my first permanent job, and it doesn't matter if i screw up really, but i don't wanna make it to headline news for causing production to cease. Imagine this: Newbie 'causes production to stop. Maybe it'll make it to headquaters at Japan too. Then i'd be truly famous. That's not my plan this week. My plan was to lay low, practically stay translucent. Apparently, that's rather tough for a newbie. Everybody's been working for at least 2 years, so when i turn up, everybody knows i'm new and i create some sort of commotion -_- Especially in office, most are curious about me. Some maintain appropriate "Hi how are you doing", some ask deep into my history, while one just screams my full name, expecting a ton of replies and asks whether i'm dumb 'cause he got nothing but silence. I know he's joking, but still.. I find it offensive when someone shouts my full name, don't you? He also highlighted to me that one of the guys is single. So? I don't want him, i want Edmund =/ Maybe what miffs me most is he's unwillingness to leave me alone. I like my manager, he's a really gentle guy. The guy that i'm taking over initially has no clue on how to teach me and stuff, and he's really messy, but my lack of experience forces him to tidy up and prepare a lot of stuff. I feel abit guilty that he has to OT to make sure i can carry on smoothly. He's getting better though, i feel that i'm not the only one learning, he's learning as well. I feel like student, taking notes and asking questions. hahas. But i still don't revise =P It makes me wanna sleep >_<

Will update about OpenNet and stuff like that next time. I'm distracted with watching My Boys. hahas. And i need to be in bed after the show ends =( I have no life even though i'm not doing irregular hours, i have no life it seems. If i do, i'll be dead beat. Oh my goodness, it's only the third day! >_<

I WANT CLEAN, NICE SKIN!

2010-02-02T21:06:00.006+08:00

There's something wrong with my Hotmail and i have no idea why. It's frustrating =/

It's never a good idea to watch Just for Laughs when your stomach is aching. It's hilarious yet painful at the same time. Talk about torture man.

Haven't had dance for quite some time. After Saturday, was slightly aching. Then Ms Jenny had to do physical workouts on Sunday. My tummy nearly died. BUT. She taught us Modern Dance. HURRAY. Missed it SO MUCH. The only fun about dance i've had so far. But i tend to get too obsessed and hard on myself, so i ended up not enjoying the process. But okay lah, there's a bit of stunt. I like doing stunts. The exhilaration, and the sense of satisfaction =D

So i'm back to work after a week. I took MC yesterday but i'm still not feeling very well. It's strange i haven't recovered, but i'm getting better. I hope. I'm starting to hate Singaporeans because of this job. Also starting to becoming racist, sexist, and elderist. Like, seriously. Some people are just plain ridiculous. I wish i could be mean, but i'm just not. I'm forgiving to a certain extent, but still i hold grudges. Alaric keeps telling me to not take it to heart, saying being in customer service, it's common to get scolded. I don't like being scolded, i mean who does, but i just tend to take it to heart. I'm gonna be stuck in this job for quite some time.. Training for me, i guess.

Lots of people taking leave tomorrow. I like it. Think i'll enjoy the peace, especially with the least favourite person gone for now. However, he left us memories aka TONS OF WORK =/ Cleared his table so neat, when all the mess are on our table. Like WA LAO. I would slap him if i could.

Watched Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. First time walking out of a movie. I couldn't understand at all, and was in no state to use much brain. But it was 'cause i wasn't feeling well that's why i walked out. I was quite disappointed in the movie, but maybe it's too deep that i don't understand. Now i'm worried that my next choice of movie would suck. I just want people who watch movie with me to enjoy..

Opera got to my face. Lack of sleep + tons of make up = PIMPLE OUTBREAK. ARGH. I so wanna squeeze all the pimples dry, stack layers of masks and exfoliate my face like mad. BOO. I want clean and youthful skin.. I wanna look like my age, not my mum's =/ Must get my face back before CNY, if not i can't gorge on all those oily yet yummy goodies... And i'm planning on going to Takashimaya for sampling next week =P DIE.

I Miss The Days Where Dance Is Actually Fun..

2010-01-30T23:21:00.010+08:00

I don't understand why i'm so tired even though i had adequate sleep and there wasn't much activity for dance today. Was quite hurt and disappointed though. I think we all lead a very sad life, those who bothered to pick up the mess, to lead when the teachers aren't around. I don't know how long i can keep doing this, and i don't know why i keep hanging on. I like the lesson, i really do, but i don't see the point in paying and spending time to make my life miserable. My life is depressing enough, i don't need to pay to make it worse. I like most of the people as well, and especially as time goes by, i think we're bonding and shaping each other quite well and we almost fit, it would be a pity to leave now, won't it? I don't mind picking up all the mess either, if you see it in some twisted point, we're all spending time together doing something productive. It may be a bit (okay, quite) sad to have fun with your friends or pak tor while washing or tidying up the costumes, but at least we're in this together? I wish i could help him someway or another..

Opera is finally done, but not quite at the same time. There's the returning of costumes, washing, hanging and keeping it. Work is never really done. At least we don't need to go down to Geylang every night and things like that. I guess i'm really addicted to performing. When i stood on the stage for the first night, i actually feel fine spending all my nights going down doing practically nothing, lathering on layers of pastel on my face, the tight pantyhose constricting my head, or getting ticked off for nothing. At least i got to perform? And i think performance is a good time for us to bond, 'cause really, how much can can you bond once a week? It's also time to know the others better, such as the RS 武术 boys. I get to see more about everybody, and see the changes (or not) in some people. I guess i don't regret joining the performance this time? I don't really care about the future actually, i don't see myself going down this path, i don't see myself going down any path but that's not the point. So it doesn't matter if i end up on the newspapers, or let known that i participate in this and that, i just wanted to perform, and to help. It's more important to everybody else lah. Okay, i don't know what i'm trying to say. hahas!

Work is getting tougher. I'm beginning to see what they mean by unreasonable people and stuff like that. Ugly sides of Singaporeans. I don't see the difficulty in reading out your NRIC to us, or re-verifying your exact address. You think it's a waste of time, but it's protocol? Of course i know you've been using your NRIC for the past donkey years, but if you make our job easier, we'll try to make things easier for you as well. What's the point in screaming into the phone when it won't help you get the dates you insist on? Furthermore, screaming at me for 5 minutes isn't an exact waste of time? What's with the nonsense of bad service when there's nothing more you can complain about not getting the dates you want?

Like my MSN nick, i miss the days where dance is actually fun :( I miss the simple days.. Where it's only about dance, nothing more. I guess time tends to complicate stuff..

Moving.. To Next Door.

2010-01-21T20:07:00.010+08:00

The people in my office started shifting bit by bit to the new venue just now. I'm reporting there tomorrow morning, luckily i no need to chop place. hahas. For your information, the new office is just opposite, so i'm still in the same building, on the same floor. If you've been to Gateway, you'll know how flat the building actually is, so the two offices are just 4 lifts apart. They're not planning to hire a receptionist, so i pity whoever sits closest to the door. hahas. Everybody's so hyped up about it, yet it this surpressed vibe. It's amusing seeing my bosses (well, they're all managers of some department, so it makes them my boss) acting that way, and one even asked to change his chair with me. I don't get the difference, but if it makes them happy, go ahead man. It's not like i'll be in the seat for years. We got to get off work early today 'cause they cut off the phone lines and internet connection before 6, but i still feel quite tired. Good things about the new office are that we have a cubicle to our own, even though it's not very big but at least i don't have to squeeze my notebook, telephone and laptop in one horizontal row or be annoyed that Nicholas keeps staring at my screen or hear him curse over nothing or shouting out answers when the questions aren't even directed to him or watch him stone and slack. The pantry has a great view. But we're nearer to the toilet, so i can't walk more =(

I'm glad to say that the method i've devised yesterday is working. I didn't get scolded at all today =D

There's this hi-tech machine which is a copier cum printer cum scanner cum email which is cool if you ask me, but the feeder sucks to the core and it keeps getting stuck. Today is the first time i've used it and the feeder tore one of the application forms in 3 O_O

Till now i still don't know how to explain where Gateway building is. That's a ver failure thing to do since i'm a GPS. I guess it's the morning that makes me groggy and not wanting to care to take note, and all i wanted to do is chiong home in the evening so i don't take note as well. If people talk to me i also don't take note. I'm not much of a multi-tasker. Hee hee..

Volunteered to help Xiao Hui call owners of Astrid Meadows, a condomium at Coronation Road. Heard about the horror stories of being pushed around like a ball, and getting scolded and/or receiving sarcastic remarks from owners and/or tenants. Ah huh. Xiao Hui asked me to prepare for battle, i prepare to die. So i can foresee that i'll be in awful mood, or be simply, a bitch. People who'll be seeing me tomorrow for Opera, be warned.

I'm online almost 24/7 ('cause i'm online when i'm at work =P) and online stuff is getting boring. This is bad though. Too much of anything is bad.

I'm trying to update myself with music, so i've been listening to 98.7FM when i'm not underground, i hope i won't be suagu much. However, sometimes i still cannot catch what they're trying to say. When i'm listening to the muttons, i had to curb myself from bursting into laughter on the train while staring outside and seemingly not talking to anybody. That would be deemed weird. Worse, crazy. Now i know what Edmund is talking about.

Saw this kid on the pram on the crowded train ride back home. He tried to push his cover up and made a lot of noise when he couldn't succeed. His grandmother tried to help but he still made a big fuss and kept screaming "NO!" Later he fixed it to the level he wants and shut up. That's plain annoying. I so wanted to scold him. What's more, it's the same as before -_-

Then walking home, i saw this lower primary boy holding hands with his even younger brother. While they walked the elder kicks his leg and went "Hu!" and the young followed. Then he kicked again and went "Ha!" and the young followed suit as well. SO ADORABLE LAH. I so wanted to pinch their cheeks. I know, kids all hate people who pinch their cheeks. Don't we used to? Guess it's human nature, pinching XD

Article: Beijing Chocolate Theme Park. I want to go..

Article: Debenhams Offers Post-Christmas Divorce Gift Lists. The times have changed, but you can't deny, it is rather useful. Especially if the ex-spouse is a stingy and calculative person who definitely takes everything away or sells it and divides the money. Ang bao would be good too, to be able to get rid of such pest is a blessing, and seeing the adorable and pretty packets would cheer the receiver up, not to mention the stack of cash sealed inside.

I shall introduce a new game: Clockwords. It's fun for people who likes to spell =)

SHIT HAPPENS

2010-01-20T21:48:00.009+08:00

♥ =)

That, totally cheered me up. Which is amazing considering what a shitty week it has been for me.

These few days i'm damn tired, and Opera made me almost tear at the seams. Started work at OpenNet this Monday, office hours, and afterwards i had to head down to 潮安会馆 for practice. It's super far away from most of our homes, and we keep ending late, plus sometimes there are no public transportation home so the only way is taxi, that really sucks 'cause the money comes from our own pocket, and we're not even paid. Also keep getting scolded. This morning, i got scolded again, but by the subscribers. It's really shitty, really is. I just wanted to slam the phone down and go home. By the end of the day, i've sort of figured out a way to not get scolded much. I'm also alone today, 'cause Aaron was on leave. Other than being irritated much by Vege God, think it turned out well 'cause i got to know the rest on a more personal level =)

Article: Are Glasses Better For The Planet Than Contact Lenses? I like this article a lot. I've never thought about this you know, all that occurs to me is papers. I should start to have recycling bins at home. AHH IKEAAAA=/

I apologise for the constant use of 'shit', but i really feel like one and that's the most direct way to express myself. Pardon me. Do you know it's the most functional English word? I got an email on that, and i now have a whole new perception of the word. Learnt lots of idioms as well. COOL-NESS.

I've gotta feeling, that tonight's gonna be a bad night~

2010-01-16T00:48:00.005+08:00

Tonight really sucked. I suddenly think it's unfair to blame Opera, it's the people that suck, not the art. It's people, people, and still people. The way they work, they think, they do. You can teach but cut the crap; you can try to understand that some of us are kids, that we live under our parents' roofs, we are under their control so we cannot commit as much; you can be less rough and angry; i can be more understanding and swallow everything and not spit one thing out. But i guess we all are flawed and can't do that..

I'm sorry i can't be more understanding, smarter, faster at getting things, more sensitive towards everybody else's emotions except mine, stop myself from regurgitating out everything i swallowed, and still hold on tightly to it like it's my principles.

ARGH. Move on move on!

I am sort of employed.. But that means i won't be free and i can't go Ikea or watch Blindside with Edmund! Noooooo :(

I wanna play play play. I should just listen to my parents and get back to university. That way, i don't have to work! =D For now. ARGH. Stop running away.. Think about the money, money! Taiwan, more CDs, food, movies, ALL NEED MOOLAHHHHH (No Zina, I'm not calling out to your fellow cows =P) :(

Money sucks. Period.

Unconquerable Vampanese

2010-01-13T14:13:00.016+08:00

This article, is somewhat.. Weird: Fat Thighs, Bum May Help You Live Longer. Oh well, you know science, they're as fickle-minded as women! =P

I'm still reading TODAY newspapers. From yesterday. hahas. According to Aaron, it ain't news no more. It's olds. Go on. Laugh it out.

Watched two movies the past two days. Invictus and Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant. Completely different genre, i know. Both i didn't choose! hahas. Invictus was a really great, inspiring movie. It's based on a true story, of what the President of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, did to calm the Civil Strife in 1995, and to ease the tension of the races. Which is for the South Africa team, to win the Rugby World Cup, and it's ridiculous, 'cause they are one of the worse teams. Believe it or not, i've seen him on TV before, and i don't know why. I don't watch the news, so.. Anyway, here's a photo of him:

Looks familiar? I think Morgan Freeman looks just like him! It's crazy. hahas. Matt Damon's the captain of the team. I was quite lost throughout the movie, 'cause i couldn't catch their accent. I guess only potatoes get potatoes, even though they're different breeds and varieties, like how corns can get corn. AHAHAHAS. Lost? *smirks* Anyway, i think it's a movie worth watching if you're interested in history, though it's a bit boring. Apparently, Invictus means Unconquerable/Undefeated in Latin, and it's a poem by William Ernest Henley. I really like the poem =) I can't understand his forgiving towards those who put him in prison for 30 years. I guess he's a true leader, if not a saint. But it's really too sad about his family :( I guess you can't have the best of both worlds, but i don't think he's got best of anything. The best is that when the bodyguard asked about his family, he replied he's got 42 million of them, like, mindblowing.

The Vampire Assistant is just modern people with weird fantasy of myths and legends that isn't even fun or anything. Based on a series of story books by Darren Shan. I have never heard or seen about it before, but i guess it must be popular enough to be made into a movie, and have casts such as John C. Reilly, Salma Hayek, Orlando Jones and Willem Dafoe. Oh maybe there isn't any other movies to star in. It's lame, and not really worth it to me, what with Vampires and Vampanese? Like, huh? There's bound to be a sequel, but there's like, 12 books. Who knows? There was this part where the parents scolded him and planned out his future, and said "It's not that hard, is it?" Actually, it is. Not to mention, the guy sitting behind was really inconsiderate. He talked at a normal volume, which is loud in a silent cinema, and kept making rude comments about the movie. Like, SHUT UP. We all know it's not exactly nice, but can't you make whatever comments you want at the end of the show? Or if you must, do it discreetly? Like, seriously. 多大的人了！还得别人来教你礼貌怎么写吗？=/

I need to go back to FTP to teach for the rest of the month. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Bear with it, bear with it.

*starts crying*

Invictus - William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul

=)

Faults & Mistakes

2010-01-11T00:00:00.007+08:00

Now everything's my fault. NICE.

I can't complain about this OPENLY. Just like what Jia Hui would say, "Shit you lah".

I'm nothing but filled with dissatisfaction. They are making passion a very hard life to follow on. ARGH.

One day you'll find that, you are trapped in a big world. Although they say the sky is limitless, and that you have freedom in every way, you'll soon come to realise, it's bullshit. It really is. When there's people, there's restrictions. Taboo. You don't have to spit vulgarities to be despised upon. I cannot believe i learnt this from where it's suppose to be my haven. Thanks a lot for that.

Clearing Out

2010-01-07T16:14:00.016+08:00

That's my pile of rubbish i've cleared from my desk, and there's many more where that comes from! I did not want to leave it there, but as you can see, my rubbish is much thicker than the wispy green bag, and so they are coming out from the seams, so i had to leave it there before they scatter ALL over the place =D All those are my antiques, years and years old antiques. I have CDs casings, files, and stacks full of my notes, worksheets and lecture notes from secondary school till polytechnic. Yep, you read right, SECONDARY SCHOOL. It never fails to puzzle me as well, but i think those are which i've packed and kept since my graduation from secondary school, maybe i thought it might be useful in poly, but obviously i have never dug any of them out for reference.

Now i need to find something to hold my CDs and their lyric booklets. Do you reckon normal CD folders will do the trick? Hmmm.

Also, i have quite a few empty files which i doubt my brother will use, so if anybody is interested, i can sell you at 20 cents for the flat ones, and 50 cents for the big, ring files. If you're family, i will give you for free. If you're student, i will give you a discount if you buy in bulk. But of course, who's reading this right? hahas. Well, it's worth a try i guess.

So, i am sort of done with my desk, and now comes the headache part. Where to put those that left? ARGH. I should visit Ikea someday and think of better organising ways, seriously. Does anybody have the 2010 Ikea Catalogue?

Reading about the start of school, looking through my school notes and last month i went back to Riverside, it made me miss school, and the routine of it. The buying of books from the bookshop auntie, holding on to a long list, busy checking of everyone of them, the huge crowd of parents and students, the anticipation of getting the books home and writing my names on them, and lugging them to school 'cause after so many years i still don't know what to bring and what not to bring. The seeing of familiar faces smiling at you after all those months of holidays, or perhaps the sulk of those who can't switch back to waking early and donning the school uniform, the smell of fresh air early in the morning and falling into order after the school bell rings. Peeking at your buddies-in-mischief at the next class, or looking for that senior you had a crush on since last year, or merely zoning out as the annoucements are made, and did a little "yes!" when you hear that your least favourite teacher is absent. All are called to rise for the national anthem, and your classmate who's in Choir is singing it out loud again while everybody just mimes it through, yet giving you enough guts to sing it out 'cause you won't be singing in silence.

Moments after you drag your feet up to class, cursing that your classroom is on the top floor yet again, and that the stupid lift still isn't working, but even if it is, it's not like you can take it. You see the same Math teacher threatening you about not handing up homework, and that she'll ask you a Math question everytime she sees you at the canteen, and made you consider about not ever stepping into the canteen thereafter. Or that Science teacher who jokes more than he teach, and ended up not finishing the syllabus and had you panicking at the last week before exams. Or that PE teacher who loves to make you run 3 rounds around the school and the one next to your school 'cause he believes run is super healthy, which it is, but he didn't include the out-of-breathe part. Or that Mother Tongue teacher who has been like a mother, and kept nagging at you just so you can pass one of the easiest subject. First half of the day, you were looking towards recess, so is your growling stomach. Back from recess, you were looking towards the end of the day, or perhaps you weren't looking at all 'cause you apparently just dozed off to Dreamland, and depending on your luck, able to survive unscathed, or get a dressing down by the teacher for doing that, but some of us don't really care, do we?

After school we rush to our respective CCAs to prepare for whatever performances or competitions that awaits us, getting scolded or scolding those below. When you go for break, you see that your fellow classmate is marching under the sun, or you are the one under the hot sun and sees that your classmate walks by leisurely, with a bottle of chilled drink.

Then the days go on for an entire year. Perhaps in the middle you have a huge quarrel with your best friend (no, i am not replacing 'a' with 'several' and then add an 's' behind 'quarrel'), but it always works out and you both laugh at how immature you guys were, but still end up fighting over similar things thereafter. Or maybe you've failed your exams, or got less than Gold for competitions, and made you cry hours over it.

But those were the innocent days. Childish as they were, they were one of the happiest days. If i could re-live any part of my life, that would be one of it. I really hate adults' world. The complexity, the hypocrisy, the needless gossips and judgements. What for, and at what cost? Why is it so hard to just be nice, and just live your life, less all the drama and stabbing? Some things and people, i will never understand, no matter how hard i try.

Wanted to go for a swim today, but woke up to a cloudy sky. Damn sian. Ooh, that gave me sudden cravings for meatball pasta, shall eat them tomorrow before rehearsal! =D And i can go collect my contacts tomorrow as well. WHAT A GREAT PLAN =D

Aja Aja Fighting!

2010-01-05T23:00:00.010+08:00

Go watch this MSN Video if you have high cholestrol, stress, migraine and/or gastric: Illness-fighting Foods. I really hope they work 'cause there's at least one kind of food in each category that i don't mind eating, which is great for such a picky eater like me =) We are saved! =P Also, read this article: 5 Foods That Fight Cholestrol.

Went back to NUH for consultation, or rather review of my endoscopy. Everything's fine, which is great, but then again if i'm not feeling so great, it's untreatable in a sense. The medical officer believes it's stress, and tells me to relax. Well, easy for him to say.. Anyway, it was rather fast, compared to the other time, guess everybody just wanna get home huh? Also, the carparks were all full (actually, there's only 2 small ones), so my dad had to park at the Science Park, which is a tedious way to and fro the hospital, and it is equally tedious for me to describe, so you have to BE THERE to understand why. I do hope they build a multi-storey carpark. They are building Kent Ridge station, which is great, but i think the shuttle bus is quite alright for the moment, but of course, who minds better convenience?

Watched Sherlock Holmes and Robert Downey Junior is so full of humour. Jude Law is finally in a relaxed-and-don't-need-to-use-too-much-brain-or-depth movie. I'm beginning to grow on Rachel McAdams. I never quite like mystery or detective novels, but this film adds interesting elements to it so i quite enjoyed it, but still it won't be on my list of must-watch after watching it. However, the cast made it must-watch, not so much the story. No wonder my brother found it boring. Anyway, good company for the movie made it equally enjoyable =)

Found a lot of CDs that i'm tempted to buy (mainly because i'm too lazy to download and i'm beginning to think money is the root of all evil but i shall elaborate in the next paragraph). MJ's having this half-price promotion that ends this month, so i should grab it while it last, right? Ah.. Somebody stop me from spending away my hard earned money on music!!!

Money is the root of all evil 'cause it makes me lazy. Since i have disposable income i don't have to spend time to search and wait for music to be downloaded 'cause i can just grab it off the shelf right? Then i'll be wasting resources, and contributing to my pile of mess/rubbish in my room, which (do i need to mention?) has been waiting patiently for me to sort and clear. Of course the good thing that comes out of it is that i'm not doing anything illegal. BAH. What a tough choice =/

Technique Exam

2010-01-03T23:57:00.004+08:00

We had our technique exam today. Was a bit nervous, but it was quite informal actually. No marks were given, think she didn't even mark, just wrote comments. I think i did pretty well, except my pirouettes. Was very unstable. Guess i got scared. But all in all, i'm quite amazed at myself =D It's also one of the rare times where everybody worked hard TOGETHER. The younger ones especially, since they always anyhow, today they actually made the effort to catch up. Lao shi wants a re-test in June 'cause she thinks it's unfair that some of us weren't prepared, but i see no point, we're still gonna fail on a professional level. Better definitely, but still fail. Besides, if she were to do a re-test, i won't be as hardworking and pia 'cause it's a repeated thing. How scared can you be of a repeated experience? It's like doing all the mock exams that you feel numb during the real thing, just like my O-level Mother Tongue.

I would like to truly enjoy the new year, but tomorrow's my only chance. Must make full use! Not to mention i need to spring clean my room, and it's just a ROOM, can you imagine if i had a HOUSE? The horrors. My roommates would be made up of pests and dust. Hey, i can even make it into a horror house attraction and earn money! ;D

I am tired yet again. BAH. What's wrong with me?

New Year, New Life. Hopefully.

2010-01-02T12:05:00.009+08:00

I feel like Marilyn Monroe with a good view now. Don't know how my mum manages to sit here and play games all day and not feel warm. Anyway, let's talk about the new year then.

Let's talk about how i ended the last day of 2009. Had work, and i spent hours arranging the plastic figurines and throwing them back into the box/drawer, counting and listing it down, only to find out i'm suppose to write down the serial numbers instead of their descriptions -_- Went over to Toa Payoh and to my utter yet surpressed horror Edmund cut his toe and still can laugh heartily about it. It was apparent we have something erm.. unique to place on the barbeque pit =/ I didn't attend the party 3/4 of the time, but i was there to clean it up and eat leftovers according to Jia Feng -_- IT'S NOT LEFTOVERS ALRIGHT? It's still food what, even though i wasn't the first to eat. Isn't it nice that i ate after everybody did, so less food is wasted? Anyway, i'm quite surprised that the kids cleared up the mess, and i'm glad the parents were there to bring not only the raw food home but also the kids home, still some of the older kids stayed back, they did made the night diffficult, but still i must thank them for letting me order them around and trying to complete whatever tasks i lay upon them. I must also thanks those who tried to make the party alive, and those who bothered to come, especially those who just joined us. I hope they don't feel left out. Initially i quite regret going, seeing that none of our class went. I understand this get-together isn't for us, but still, i believe we can change that? As long as we're together, no matter working or playing, even if the event isn't for us, we still can have fun or at least spend time together no? Well, at least most of the attendees had fun, that's equally important. I'm so not a people-person. The countdown was so.. Anti-climax =X Was so tired i knocked out when we all went to bed at 4 in the morning.

My first day of the new year started with waiting for the RS girls to come. THEY WERE ACTUALLY LATE FOR 1/2 HOUR. I wanted to just ask them to all go home. Stop wasting my time! As much as i care for my reputation, i cannot stand for my efforts to be trampled like that. I'm not talking about fairness, but what about basic manners? I guess it's lucky that they are better naturally compared to the other school, so even though i've only spent 3 lessons with them, they're okay. I'd like to polish them more, but i see no point. Well at least they thank me at the end of the class, regardless genuine or not. Went for lunch with Aaron, who did the most work since he's the last boy left. And i must thank Shawn as well for waking up early to search for costumes even though he has work in the afternoon. Went home and knocked out, woke up and listened to half of the 98.7FM's repeat of 2009 countdown, then knocked out again. And i couldn't find anything anymore even though my desk is a lot neater, 'cause it's NOT arranged by me. I had to keep going "Relax rL, relax" whenever i couldn't find something and go "WHERE IS (insert whatever i wanna find)?!?!". I should find some day to clean up my room. Yes, i believe that's what i've been saying since start of 2009.

My second day of the new year is TODAY. Woke up with cramps. NICE. Guess what i'll be doing later? DANCE OBVIOUSLY. I really hope today will be a nice enough day. And i'm pretty scared about tomorrow's exam. None of us are prepared, really. If you ask me whether i wanna take it, i really don't know. I know the steps, but i don't feel i'm good enough. What's the point of failing when you're sort of prepared but still not there yet? Is it worth it? But i guess you can never be prepared or good enough. Better luck next time?

Everybody thinks the start means everything, i think it pretty much means nothing. Like some companies start well but ended up folding, some people start out well but ended up being scumbags, so what's the point really? I think the end means more. Like everybody who reads a book or watches a movie always bother more about the ending no? I really hope this year ends on a good note, 'cause nobody's gonna remember about the start. Much. Or maybe not the middle part since scientific studies shown that people can only remember the start and the end. Edmund had a bloody end, and i had a bloody start, how nice? I do hope none of us will end up in blood though >_<

I don't wish to recap 2009, all i can remember were bad memories. I just hope 2010will be better, really. That's all.

STOP CRAMPING! =@

All Fun No Work =X

2009-12-01T15:39:00.009+08:00

Let's update.

Genting. Thankfully my dad sent me to Katong Hostel, i have no idea how i'm gonna lug my luggage the whole way, and the reporting time was 10 AM! Apparently, we did have the whole bus to ourselves, as in other than the driver and the two other organisers, it was just us. But nobody mentioned 3/4 of the bus is occupied by INSTRUMENTS! Was a really long way up. Haven't really seen Malaysia in my whole life. All i ever did was sleep the whole way when my dad used to drive us into Malaysia to don't-know-do-what. Eat? Was quite young, didn't bother to remember. A lot of plantations and billboards. Looked a lot like Singapore actually. First time going through customs myself. The passport and fingerprint scanner were quite hi-tech. So cool. Only bad thing was that we had to lug our luggage down the bus and put it through the roller, then lug it back up. I had the biggest luggage i feel like an auntie. To think i thought we all buck up to bring LUGGAGE?! So pai seh can? :((( Halfway the two organisers took off and their last words were, “乐器就麻烦你们照顾了，我们云顶见！”Like, what the!? Finally reached Genting in the evening and waited A LONG TIME for the boys to unload all the instruments and it ISN'T their duty! =/ Finally checked in. The rooms were uber small we all had our doubts of stuffing FIVE in a room. It's even smaller than MY ROOM back home! A lot of problems and stuff during the five days. Miscommunications, un-cooperativeness, you name it. All were exhausted, stressed and misunderstood, and it really sucked. Some of us regretted going, but now come to think of it, i could have dealt with it better, really. It was so stupid of me to leave it and hope that everything would be alright again the next morning. I should know better that things snowball at the speed of light. There was no bonding at all to be frank, to me it was more of severing. Guess we should be thankful we didn't break? Nearly, maybe. It was a bad experience, i hope i'm smarter this time.

There were some good stuff nonetheless. Adorable kids, funny incidents, and the outdoor theme park. Think that was the best out of everything. Even though we always split in groups, not much bonding, but think that was the best out of everything, at least everybody was smiling genuinely and enjoying themselves. Most of the time. Am also glad that even though i wasn't part of the bonding, some of them had loads of fun and bonded well. From this trip i realised who were the ones who stood by my side, that their trust in me never wavered, and i'm more than thankful to them. Even though i didn't say or do anything, i'm astonished that the girls held me as a leader, and respected me. That, i believe, i am unworthy, but i appreciate it nonetheless, and i'm truly sorry that i did not realise in time, and neither did i fulfill my duty of being someone you girls can follow and rely on. I am at fault for all that had happened, and i apologise if i have unintentionally caused you any harm or misery, and that i truly did not realise or mean any of them.

Belated Birthday. Went rollerblading with Eng Kiat and Zu You! Had yummy KFC breakfast and we headed down to East Coast Park! Eng Kiat fell down and scraped his knee and palm! But he still continued and that was so brave of him! I would have just sat there and wail =P I did fell, but i fell on my butt in the grass so i was lucky! I can skate better now, but i still don't know how to brake >_< So run if you see me skating your way! Went to had cooling ice-lemon tea and i had vanilla cone while Zu had free apple pie at Mac and we headed down to Cineleisure for lunch! Ate at Xin Wang HK Cafe 'cause i have $10 off voucher. And they gave me my present, Adidas Candy in Pink! Well, it's definitely not love at first sight, but thanks so much for the expensive watch! Even though i would have preferred a much cheaper watch, 'cause i'm not one to be able to take care of stuff, and it's my first branded good! I hope it survives at least 2 years! >_< Went to watch Ninja Assasin and it's gory! Vulgarities fly all over the place in the first scene, we believe that his script writes "Come up with your own lines". hahas! Somebody's head got cut off and we can see the bone in the middle. Nice. Even in the dark they had to squirt blood =/ Our favourite words were "Let's go", "Family" and "Hurt" XD

As usual, photos on Facebook =D

Went to Jurong Point last night! Changed so much! Had my favourite Profiteroles too! Yummy! Visited Jurong Central Park as well. Laterwards went back to the pasar malam next to Causeway Point and bought my favourite Peanut Tutu Kueh! It used to be enough for me when i was young, guess when you grow older, your appetite grows as well! XD

Work tomorrow. BOO! I don't wanna go work :(

OMG it's December already. Where did my whole year went to?! To think i start my December with me rotting at home! >_< What a "GREAT" start and to end this year huh? =/

Going to Genting

2009-11-21T00:56:00.006+08:00

Went to WRPS in the afternoon. The Primary Ones are SO ADORABLE i could sit there all day watching them sway (very hard) to Jai Ho =) It's scary watching the kids grow at tremendous speed, especially when they transform from little girls to young ladies. Makes you realise time DOES fly. It's disappointing that they don't remember me. It's saddening that i feel out of place :( Felt, replaced. Or rather, like i never existed even though i spent like 4 years there.

Went to watch Grey Matter at LaSalle. Initial 8 dwindle to 4 person. Tong Wei's situation was the best. Lulu's piece was a torture. Love Yan Hui's ending. Like Yong Xin's effects. Impressed by Zu's choreography. Adore the puffy dresses they wear for Melissa's piece. Was craving for sweet stuff, so Edmund and i went to Starbucks. THE NEW YORK CHEESECAKE WAS HEAVENLY.

Leaving home for Genting in less than 9 hours time. Gonna sit till my butt cramp on the bus for 6 hours. Think i'm gonna die of boredom/restlessness/lack of oxygen. I'd rather take a plane despite that my ears will hurt. At least there're movies to watch, games to play, music to listen to, and languages to learn. Oh not to mention airplane food, apple juice and nuts =D And i have to take the 6 hours ride back home. Parents make Malaysia sound so chaotic and devious. Suddenly, Genting don't sound like such a great idea.

Ohmygod omhmygod. Help.

Trudging On

2009-11-17T21:35:00.008+08:00

I adore this routine. And the dancers, Katee and Joshua, are good man. 'Nuff said =)

I can't find the clip of Chelsie & Mark doing Contemporary by Mia Michaels :( I love her wedding dress and the quirkiness. I love Mia Michaels' choreography, on par with Wade Robson's =D

Oh no the Twilight Marathon tickets are sold out :((( Next time ba....

These few days have been stressful, and it's taking a toll on my gastric.. Folk Dance Examination is over, and i didn't do well :( Sigh. Shouldn't have went for it when i wasn't prepared. I did my best, beyond my expectations, or perhaps i had low expectations of myself, but it wasn't what the invigilator was looking for :( I'm thoroughly disappointed with my results and his comments, really. I thought what i did was it, apparently not. Guess i was too full of myself. I took it really hard, especially when everybody built me up so high, even 老师, and i fell hard. Now i can't pick up my confidence in dancing 民间舞 :( Sigh. Then there's Genting. To me, if we've done the performance once, we should be good enough, no? Apparently not so for 老师 and she kept drilling and screaming and i'm tired. I realise the importance, that's why i'm tired. I wanna be good, i wanna do great, 但心有余而力不足。Also i'm heading to both Riverside （啥） and First Toa Payoh（摆手）, and they aren't doing as well as i hope they would. I spent a great deal of time and energy but i'm just not reaping what i sow. Yet, i hope. Teaching is such a huge responsibility, once you've picked it up, you cannot drop it until you're done with it.

Oh i forgot to turn off the fire for the soup AGAIN! >_<

Exhausted. Drained. Weary. Luckily, i still have you holding my hand to get me through this =)

I can't wait for Genting. I seriously hope we get fun and laughter among all the sh*t and fatigue, and make this trip real memorable in a good way =) Let's bond, let's bond! After we work, we work =D

2 weeks of dance non-stop, this is crazy! XD

Plod. Plod. Plod. =D

Pain, Pain Go Away

2009-11-10T21:44:00.014+08:00

(Unhappy Pills by sarcasmaholic)

rL is lazy as usual, so she will not upload photos here. Want photos? Go Facebook =P

Last Thursday and Friday i went to First Toa Payoh to teach 摆手。My version and Jocelene's version are worlds apart! *slaps forehead* I mentioned to them that they should drink 100plus or H2O before performing to prevent dehydration, and one of the girls bought it immediately the next day. I'M SO TOUCHED *tears* It feels nice. Really =) Then i met up with Zu You for dinner at New York New York, Ang Mo Kio Hub branch. They changed their menu and there is no more Salmon Foccia Sandwich :((( Afterwards we watched My Sister's Keeper. Started tearing 15 minutes into the movie and till the end. My tee was wet and i littered my seat with tissue papers. I checked the theatre out after the movie ended, and i think i'm the only crybaby in the whole cinema >_< I'm so sorry auntie. I'll bring plastic bag to dispose of my used tissues next time!

Saturday was MY BIRTHDAY! I'm officially 20 :((( Anyway mum and bro celebrated with me in the morning before i went out to meet Genevieve, Patrick and Xiao Han for lunch at Tampopo, Ngee Ann City branch. Then we loitered and bumped into Jing Xuan at Lido. Afterwards i went to meet Edmund to watch Hurt Locker at Toa Payoh's Eng Wah. Super pai seh but amusing at the same time. Note to self: Don't go there for movies again, unless need be. Lastly, we went to SHHK for dance and i didn't expect the girls to celebrate with me =D Either ways, i had a splendid birthday! Thank you everyone for your presents, wishes, SMSes, wall posts, cards, cakes, ice-cream, celebration and most of all, THOUGHTS, TIME and EFFORT =) You guys are the best a girl like me can ever get =)

Sunday had dance. A bit of drama here and there but we survived. Had dinner at KFC and it was funny as usual. Minus Shu Yue and Yu Feng :(

Monday had a breakdown. Even the cab uncle was like, "Aiyo, why so sad?". THANK YOU UNCLE, you made my day *sobs* Edmund had to kept consoling and distracting me the whole way too. THANKS :( Met this new girl, Allison, whom had a fever, so i felt so bad making a big fuss out of nothing. Sijia and Aloysius kept teasing me about him too =/ Oh, and there were fake snow aka foam at the entrance of Tanglin Mall. SO NICEEE. Must see snow at least once in my life!

Today took MC for work. Felt so loser lah, kept taking MC :( Woke up with gastric pain, then abdominal, then cramp here, there, i don't even know what hurts anymore :( It still hurts los :( And not to mention a bit of diarrhoea. Went to polyclinic to finally get a referral letter. I was sent to register, consult and pay at the flu area 'cause i have cough. hahas! So funny. This time the doctor was still an Indian, but he was male and he was SO MUCH NICER can? When he heard my family has a history of liver and gastric cancer, he was like, "Must have letter!". Got myself 3 types of medicine, and one month worth of gastric pills. NICE =/ It was suppose to be 2 months worth but he's just giving me till my scoping at NUH, which is booked for the next month, and so is every other hospital in Singapore. Stupid first female Indian doctor that i saw. If she had given me the letter, i won't have to suffer for almost 2 months! Went home and a nap and has been home still now. Still hurts now and then. I think the medicine doesn't work anymore. Sigh.

SUCKS LAH. When can i be HEALTHY again? No cough, no runny nose, no pain, just alive and able to run and punch people and still have energy to talk crap. BOO. Looks like my birthday wish didn't come true afterall. Or does 每个人 not include me?

Even though i keep falling sick, i feel blessed. To have my mum who would wake up in the morning just to accompany me to the clinic, to have Edmund who would make his best effort to come see me or call or bear with my nonsensical SMSes, to have my friends who would always care and be concerned when they hear that i am less than well, to have my colleagues who don't scold me when i take MC. I love you guys so much :(( What would i do without you all man?

Guess i got a completely different wish =)

JUST REALISED I FORGOT TO WISH THE TALL PEOPLE GOOD LUCK. Oh no. I'm sure you guys did just as well XD Oh no oh no, i'm so not prepared for Grade 11 this Sunday >_<

SICK EVERYWHERE

2009-10-31T00:25:00.006+08:00

If you guys are friends with my TP lecturer, Ms Goh, on facebook, check out the question she posted. She posted:

Question for my friends (i.e. people who are of the same generation): Do you know what these acronyms means : afk, fml, tyvm. STUDENTS: DON'T ANSWER PLS!

Of course, majority who answered are students 'cause only students are online most of the time and are free enough or the ones who bother to answer. Insert a few older generation people or her fellow colleagues who occasionally replies along the lines of "I have no idea" and made up a chunk of funny replies. Only a tourism lecturer can come up with such question and evoke such answers.

Heard from Sijia that kids are gonna be dressed up tomorrow and go Trick-or-Treating tomorrow at the store!! SO ADORABLE! But i won't be there to witness it. BOO :(

My throat is killing me. Apparently i have SORE THROAT. That's not the point. It was recovering, but i had to go for work, and all those talking and dust made it worse. I've been drinking at least 5 Nike bottles per day, and visitations to the toilet like it's healthy exercise, and now it's inducing cough and phlegm and runny nose, which made it hard to sleep at night =/ My cravings have yet to be deterred and i'm sure my voice will be fully charged and goes full speed ahead till it's lost in all those "heaty" foods i've consumed.

Oh crap my Strepsils are still in my jacket's pocket. And guess where my jacket is? In the washing bucket! But i've managed to save it from the brutality of the washing machine =D

You have no idea how annoying it is to come home to 2 bags of Burger King sitting on the dining table and when you peek into it, it's full. With wrappers. ARGH. I wanna eat piping hot Macdonald's Hash Brown :(((

My stomach? I've classified it under "Whatever". Don't think it's gonna make it. Sigh. I wish i would stop being so weak :(

GET WELL ALREADY! *angry face*

Oh. Right. HAPPY HALLOWEEN PEOPLE =)

All I [Ever] Wanted

2009-10-28T13:31:00.011+08:00

*edited on 31 October =)
I want A LOT of things! Which costs a lot too :((

iPhone! Hanging out with Mischa yesterday made me tempted to get iPhone! All the camera applications not only captured my interest, also the fact that it has a lot of memory capacity, i can use it as my mp3 as well since my Creative's joystick's sorta hard to manoeuvre after its crack down. Literally =P It's a bit bulky, and i really wished there were buttons.

VAIO! I forgot what model it was, i can't remember anyway, all i know it costs $899 at Courts? It's small and compact, and i like the cover so yea =) But my current laptop's still alive, so i don't think i'll buy it within the next year.

Crocs. I still like the grey flats made of cloth instead of that plastic thingy, but it costs like $80.20?! Never gonna buy it. Why buy shoes for SO EX?! That's why i don't have Nike, Puma OR Adidas. If i did, imma make sure i wear it till the soles wear out, and STILL continue wearing it.

OVEN. Plus recipe books. I wanna make lots of Chocolatey desserts. hahas. And you guys shall be mmy guinea pigs! XDD Provided if i ever do get down and make them =P Think mum will kill me for messing up her kitchen =X

Garfield's Teddy Bear! hahas. It's jsut so adorable but i have no idea what i wanna do with it. It's under TY's Beanie Babies, but the only shop i've seen selling it tan out of stocks. Costs $5.

WALLET. Mine's dying. I saw these at Accessorize and they have the design i like, not the colours, or it's the other way around. BAH. I want a red with white polka dots. I'm into polka dots now =D Or chocolate with light pink spots like the ribbons i got from Made With Love. hahas. I SAW THE NEW WALLET ROZZ GOT FROM TOKYO! Purple and red plaids(sp?)! I'M ENVIOUS :(

Backpack. I need it when i go for swimming or stayovers. Period.

Health and Happiness is more important right now. Really.

------------

Doubt i'm gonna buy all of that. Think i've been saying i want those for quite some time? hahas. It takes time and fate to meet the ones you really like. Or when they spoil and you're forced to buy a new one immediately >_<

Anyway, i don't need presents for my birthday, really. If you must, please don't buy ALL purple! I do like purple, don't get me wrong, but i LOVE colours. The more colourful, the more fasinated i am! You don't see me opening up my bad and out spill purple stuff right? I still remember once, Mischa gave me a few gifts, but are ALL purple! Crazy. hahas. So once again, i love COLOURS! =D

It sucks that i am always unable to make it for work or dance when they call last minute to ask for backup. I do detest last minute, but it feels like i'm not there for them, but i'm always backing out last minute too. ARGH. It just sucks.

AHHH. Life's in a mess. AGAIN :((

Life AIN'T Good

2009-10-26T23:26:00.005+08:00

My LG IS spoilt. Well i think the wire to the screen is loose or something, so i can't flip my flip phone =/ If i were to SMS, it's okay to a certain extend, but if i were to talk on the phone or take pictures, it's kinda hard. Planning to go to the Care Centre tomorrow but it's at some ulu place! I'm not really in the mood for exploring right now. Not to mention i'll have to head back there to get it back! And the problem with my unregistered warranty as well. So i pay double (transportation & servicing) just to get this, which may well be spoilt AGAIN in a few months' time, fixed. Stupid LG. Life AIN'T good. AT ALL. =/ I hope i can pull myself out of the house and start travelling before i procrastinate and let my phone dwell into the last stage and be declared dead.

Jocelene posted this on Facebook:

Jocelene Low
SocialInterview.com asked me "What is the best way to make Rui Ling smile?"
I answered: "ya gong :DD"

Oh no. She's as nonsense as me. She claims she's got Rui Ling's genes, which is technically wrong since i didn't give birth to her. I just rubbed off some unique-ness of mine on her =P But truth is, it did made me smile when i read that. hahas!

I'm becoming a glutton again. I've not only found my appetite back, i think my gastric's acting up again. I hope it's only today. I don't mind eating as much as a rabbit, but i do mind if i have to squat all day or deliberately do something just to calm my stomach down. If my stomach was a person, i would have slapped him upside down. GRRR.

Work is getting more and more boring. I miss Roz and his nonsense. I miss Jade and Joo Ann playing games with me. BOO.

Really tired. Sleep time.

Killer Moves

2009-10-26T00:14:00.006+08:00

I think my LG is... Spoilt. Or corrupted. Or whatever you call it. The thing is, i don't know where there's a LG care centre. Best is, my handphone isn't under warranty 'cause i FORGOT to send it in. Barnacles.

Today's barre was tough. All the control i think my right thigh has thicken by an inch. Yes i use more strength with my right, so my legs are extremely not propotionate. I couldn't remember the new routine on AND off barre. Shi Hui's not here today, Zu You and Jia Zhen won't be there the next, hence i can safely conclude that I AM SO DEAD NEXT WEEK. Bring on the berating man! >_< I don't know why i am unable to remember simple routines like these. It's worse on Saturday. I totally mixed up the barre work with the one on Sunday, hence i am unable to remember anything unless given A LOT of reminding. BAH. I suck.

Then i left early for EY da:ns crew. Slap those latecomers, made me wait SO long. Barre really drained the soul out of me i was so tired i sat there and stoned, which i eventually dozed off. People came to introduced themselves to me and i have no mood whatsoever to make new friends. I didn't even wanna care when Cosina was so eager she went to join them. Hip Hop was really fun. The instructors were fun people. Mambo Jambo was a bit of a bore 'cause it's mostly sign language, and what makes it harder is that it's lyrical, so if you don't know the lyrics you can't really do it. Had to rush for dinner 'cause it's not provided and there's only like 35 minutes. Had Long John's Grilled Fish and i spent like under $10 'cause it doesn't come with a drink =/ I was not full and the rice was so hard i'd rather bite nougats. The fish was nice though. Went back and waited somemore. Luckily the EY da:ns crew were quite sporting, and most of the audiences are supporters so the atmosphere was there. In between breaks there were dance battle! So cool lah. My first time viewing it. Wasn't really good, but you had to give them credit for trying. Bboys, and the bgirls were really bad 'cause either they don't have it, or they were not dressed for the occassion. Good thing about Singapore break dancers are that they may not be great, but at least they're civilised and don't break out into a fight instead. I think the DJ's not really good 'cause they obviously know there's break dancing going on, but they play songs from the '80s and the break dancers cannot catch the mood OR the beat so there were really awkward and cold ~~pauses~~ standstill. I also think it's real dumb to do a head windmill on the concrete floor with your bare head. The performers were real good, at least the older performers are. I envy their strength. I wanna dance like that too :( We were asked to dance on stage! I kept forgetting my moves =P hahas. It ended quite late and i left early.

Extremely dehydrated and tired right now. Never drank so much water in my life. hahas.

I'm sort of glad i went for the EY volunteer. It's something fresh out of my hectic, mundane life. And barre was becoming a real killer both mentally and physically. If i didn't get out of there, i think i'd be real depressed right now. You have no idea. Sometimes, dance does kill me.

I am aching all over again. Especially the hollow between my arms and chest.

What Used To Be Common

2009-10-24T01:53:00.008+08:00

Had an accident at work. Was bending down to take down measurements for a cardboard box when a wooden frame came swinging at the unexpected me. I'm sure most of you take Physics, so when you take Potential + Kinetic Energy = A LOT OF FORCE, which in turn came into collision with my forehead and left quite an impact and a bit of wound. I was stunned and the first thing that came to my mind was, my colleagues never hit me, how come Ronald whack me today? Until he explained that the wooden frame dislodged from the nail and came to me. It was a loud collision but apparently Ronald is as blur as me 'cause he didn't realise it knocked my head until he saw Grace's shocked face and my palm on my forehead. He was so guilty he even offered to compensate me. I thought it was no biggy, until they screamed, "It's gonna bleed!" and Sitong said calmly, "Oh, it's swelling". Unmerciful her grabbed tissues and pumped Detol sanitiser and started to dab at my wound. Jade 'ouch-ed' for me while i squeezed her shoulder. I cause quite a bit of commotion. Last but not the least, Sitong concluded her lame joke of me being the third floor manager of a certain asylum, and also an ugly plaster just above my brow shouting, "LOOK AT ME!".

Went to visit Jocelene. She was eating and i introduced her the uber cheap mixed rice at Lucky Plaza. She's a road idiot like most of whom i know, so kind hearted me drew a map for her =D

Went to Esplanade for the EY Da:ns Crew briefing. Met a new friend, named Cosina. She said it means 'World Peace' in don't know what language, and she happens to be an Apparel Design student in Temasek! What a small world! She has 3 nationalities: Hong Kong, British and Singaporean, and she only gets to decide when she's 21. How cool is THAT!

These 2 emcees are quite good, especially the guy. We should invite them to host our performance XD

Afterwards i met up with Eng Kiat and Zu You! We used to hang out a lot, now it's like once in a blue moon. Oh well, at least we're all doing something. Gossiped a lot and it was nice to know we're still close, that all those unfrequent meet ups didn't let us drift apart. I'm glad our friendship survived and i knew i can count on them when i'm down and confused =)

A rather hungry Zu you.

A very hungry Eng Kiat.

Not so hungry me =D

Please ignore the white patch on my forehead T_T

Have practice early in the morning T_T

Saw this auntie the other day on Bus 169. It was pouring outside, but i don't get why her umbrella's still opened and protecting her IN THE BUS. And the side she's protecting from is the window. Hmmm.

Can't wait for Genting =DD

Poly Annoyance

2009-10-21T14:19:00.008+08:00

Went to the polyclinic SOOOO early in the morning. OMG. The registration nurse i've got is an impatient one. She kept pressing the beep it's annoying. When it was my turn i stood up immediately as though there's a needle on my seat and hurried over. Turns out she's an act cute AND impatient AUNTIE. I'm not prejudice against aunties, i just don't think impatient and cute goes in the same category for somebody who looks that grumpy. It spoils everything. I'm a superficial person and i'm not really sorry about that. It helps me someway or another. I stereotype too. A LOT. hahas. Thinking twice about befriending me? XD

Either ways, i'm quite miffed about the doctor. I didn't take note of her name. I suppose it was my fault too 'cause i remembered me being 45kg recently? Don't know, but it's been months since i've last weighed myself. I don't remember being 50kg, but anyway, she asked me to get onto the weighing machine with my jazz shoes on and i weigh 47kg, hence she refused to believe that i've got drastic weight loss, and perhaps even showed some signs of suspecting that i'm dellusional. In the end she prescribed me medicine again and asked me to go back to her in 2 weeks' time if the pain still persists. Well. If it does, i won't be seeing you, would i? I certainty don't wanna wait another few decades to meet you in hell either. I'd most probably drag you down the moment i hit the ground. ARGH. Hate doctors like these that don't take me seriously. And they don't even hurt or flinch when i'm in extreme pain! Sometimes i wish i can inflict serious pain on such people. Oh well what do you know? I'm cruel and vindictive as well!

Came back for a nap and i feel energised! Kinda. hahas. Wanted to sleep more but i got hungry -_- Hunger and pain is what keeps me up these days and it sucks. 'Cause i am not only always hungry and in pain, i'm also exhausted, that's a sucky conbination if you ask me but nobody asked but i still wanna comment anyway =P

Watching SYTYCD 4 right now. I love some of the songs they use. So nice!!! But it's only the audition (episode 2) so they don't mention the names of the songs :(( Anyway, this Chad guy said this, "Anything in life that seems perfect, is a series of mistakes" and that got me thinking. I wish i could stop thinking because not thinking makes me confused, extremely, and it's affecting me in every way. But i'm a thinker, i think to sleep, asking me not to think means i need to be occupied every minute >_< BAH. Don'tthinkdon'tthinkdon'tthink!

I'm hungry again :(( I feel like i'm pregnant without the nausea and belly.

Fun with Puzzles, Art and Games

2009-10-20T23:35:00.005+08:00

Work today had lots of boring time, but i had loads of fun as well. I got to play with Ronald's iPod Touch, and one of his games is this escaping Gingerbread Man, so CUTE! =DD Then this customer had a missing puzzle piece so we had to piece all the puzzles together to check, and it's been soooooooooo long since i've done puzzles and it was fun! Even though it's for 3 years old and above, it took me a bit of thinking to complete it! I wanna do kids puzzles again! =DD Lastly, one customer came to exchange her sand art but i don't know for what reason, but either ways, we got to play with it. Uber fun! But i didn't get to complete it 'cause the store's closing :( Must do it again sometime! =DD

But the thing about having fun at work is that, if those fun things don't happen, work is even more boring than usual, which makes time harder to fly by. And when the men start to talk about army, BMT, IPPT, ranks, and how their sergeants either tekan or look after them and not bother to include me in their conversation, plus i've arranged all the items on the shelves, it's really boring. So i just sat down and continue playing with Ronald's iPod Touch.

Ronald's on a diet. He thinks he's fat. He even grabbed his sides and showed us his sparetyre 'cause his orange tee was baggy =/ PLEASE LAH. Fat is when you sit on the couch and can't get up, or that your weight is hurting your knee sorta stuff. But actually, that's OVERLY-OBESE-that-you-most-probably-have-heart-implications but i was rather scared that Bandi would tell me he can't get out of the couch >_< Thankfully, he agrees. He said he's not fat, he got beat up and is full of bruises. Uh huh.

Finally going for a check-up for my stomach tomorrow morning. May i stress that it's MORNING where i'll be leaving home at SEVEN?! To think it's my off day T_T How pathetic can i get?

Bliss

2009-10-19T00:47:00.003+08:00

Tonight, is one of the happiest nights in my life =DDDD It means a lot to me. Him, wanting to do that. Really. =)))))

And being overly happy makes me even more exhausted. I need to sleep soon. I can't think of anything to blog.

Next time people.

*and she knocks out*

Weary

2009-10-14T23:53:00.007+08:00

Recently added my TP lecturer, Ms Goh, as a friend on Facebook. Not only did i found out she was married, but also looked through her wedding photos! The wedding shots were not only professional, but also gorgeous and artistic. Then i took a look at the photos on her wedding day, uber nice as well! I not only want wedding shots like that, i also wanna take photos like that too :(( Fat hopeS. BAH. Another matter for me to salivate even more is that i realised she visited more than 5 countries in a single month. HOW JEALOUS CAN I GET? Being able to do something you want, be in the career you want, marry the boy you want, and still have enough money to go Bali, Hong Kong, Phuket with him, then visit your best friend in America, while touring Japan, Sydney and much more, seriously, have you met ANYONE like her? I so wanna be in her shoes. Replace the husband 'cause i've only met her husband, whom was BOYFRIEND then, ONCE. So yeah. I still address her as Ms Goh, 'cause i have no idea what's her husband's family name. Doesn't really matter, 'cause i'm not gonna see her in like, what, forever? Unless i go back to TP lah.. Which i'm not gonna. I doubt i'm gonna bump into her on the street as well.

I'm at the crossroad again. I have so many dreams i need to fulfill, yet my passion doesn't help me get there. I am reluctantly persuaded to try something totally new, in hope that it'll help me earn enough money to be selfish and self-fulfill my dreams. I thought i was quite persuaded, but when i talk about it, i'm having doubts again. I really don't wanna waste any more time, effort or money, and i'm ignorant enough to not make a sound choice. Who said ignorance is bliss? But without making mistakes, you'll never learn, right? So how many mistakes must i make, before i can succeed? I feel sorry for my parents. Truly.

I am so tired today. So beat that i can't keep my eyes open on train and bus rides, that i can't wait to finish writing my diary while my head is glued to the train's wall, that i stoned unconsciously when i wait, that i had a nap and it was insufficient, that i took my toothbrush and went for the cleanser instead of toothpaste, that i can wake up and take a call and go back to sleep immediately, that my brain isn't functioning well. That's how tired i am.

I guess it is true that computer screen stimulates your brain. I am tired, but my eyes are stimulated that everything looks exceptionally bright. Hence i feel fake-ly energised. If you get my drift.

Sleep time, nonetheless.

祭孔表演《第一章》

2009-10-12T12:29:00.035+08:00

Long weekend has ENDED! =DD

Friday was work, then went shopping with Jia Hui! Bought clothing for Yong Xin's birthday party! Didn't know shopping was such hard work! >_< I'm glad all those rushing around was over. To my utter dismay, Bugis is going under lots of constructions, and everywhere is sealed off. Dad came to pick us up but we couldn't find each other, it was so frustrating, 'cause it was peak hours and there was jam everywhere and i forgot where is where! Aiya, bottom line is, i need to remember things i've said and places i've been. Not to mention we ended up being very late for practice, and think Dad was late for his meeting :((( I'm so sorry. Practice was alright, no disputes, but i was quite hurt. Oh well. Reached home and went to work at Yong Xin's gift! I resorted to using superglue and the skin on my fingers were all stuck together!! >_< I really dislike the feel of superglue, but it really works. Oh! I could have used double-sided tape right? But it won't looked as nice, and i don't have it at home. hahas! Anyway, by the time i've finished it was near three and i woke up at eight plus the next morning. The gift wasn't done to the best, and i couldn't care less. Guess it was at least presentable >_<

Next day was a really suay day for me. Jia Hui called it "你带屎" Day =/ After i woke up it rained. Heavily. Nearly couldn't get out of the house. Took Bus 161, Punggol, Sengkang and Buangkok all had clear skies, except Hougang. 2 stops before, it started to drizzle. By the time i've reach her house, it poured as well -_- And i got lost in her neighbourhood. Nobody knew where her block is, she herself didn't know where i was. Of course, me being me, i found my way around anyway =DD She claimed that Bus 27 comes every 2-3 minutes, but we waited 10 minutes for it. To our surprise, we weren't late!! =DD Of course we weren't the earliest either. I kept losing my temper to Jia Hui so sorry :(( That short trip made me think a lot. Anyway, the Changi Rise condo is DAMN ULU. Missed our bus stop and we had to walk super far to reach!! All thanks to Su Ying, helped me correct our path! I'm so sorry i made everybody walk such a long stretch of road :(( It was quite fun lah, with the LaSalle people there to fool around, and SHHK dancers to laugh it out =) Funniest were the little kids, and Edmund who kept asking the little boy who wanted to be a scientist, Royston, about numbers, and he answers without fail. Also the little girl who has the same angry pose as Ms Jenny when we refuse to give her the balloons =P Had to cab down to SHHK in the end. That Mr Chong, is an exact replica of Mr Ng, or shall i use 'Popular Sanguine' on him? Had fun with the little girls, especially Yue Min, full of nonsense! She also another one. Same as Mr Chong and Mr Ng. Sigh. Hate that i suck at barre, but moving on. Went to rehearsal at 天福公, it was alright i guess. Went back and we snuck to buy a cake for Shi Hui. Andrew joined us. And i succeeded in bargaining for cheaper Macarons from Almonde ^_^ I feel like such an Auntie. Surrpise was a success and Andrew fit right in and had too much fun with 老师's dogs. Ironed the costumes and 绸 and we tried to sleep. Played 戴佩妮原谅我就是这样的女生 album and it was too upbeat! Ended up sleeping for 3 hours, we were beat.

Sunday. Had Macdonald's breakfast, and the delivery bag is SO COOL. Took too long to eat it. Ended up rushing for make up and stuff and had to wear our head dress in the van. I sat on the seat without cushion, and i end up sliding front and back without any friction. It would be fun on normal circumstances, but not with somebody trying to insert pins in my scalp. The first two shows i sucked to the core. I'm a lousy performer. Performed for so many times and i still suck, i should slap myself. Talked lots of nonsense and reminisced about our secondary school lives, it was so fun. I bet it made the guys opened up and see how we girls are XD After which we went to Cineleisure to watch Sorority Row. The whole lot of us had our fingers in our eyes throughout the whole movie. Except Jia Feng. hahas. All of us were super freaked. Then we had Long John's Silver and we went home. Thank you Mr Ng for carrying my super heavy Green bag all the way!! =DD

Was so tired that i slept at ten plus. My phone rang at eleven plus. Guess it rang for quite a while before i gain conscious. Then i was thinking real hard what that sound is. Figured it was not my alarm and wanted to went back to sleep, especially when silence came back on. It then occured to me it was my ringtone, the song that was in my MP3 and i'd listened for quite some time. So i had a missed call in the end. Maybe it's because i've had Shi Hui's Samsung phone for too long. But from then on my ears can pick up my ringtone quite fast. Good thing i suppose?

I wanna apologise to anybody if i'd flared up too easily in the past few days. I should learn to better control my temper =X But i shall not be blamed for those who DELIBERATELY tried to provoke me! You know who you are!

Today is a rest day for me. Yay.

Rush Hour

2009-10-09T00:10:00.005+08:00

I'm slightly exhausted but adrenaline rush is keeping me awake. Rush rush rush. All the SMS-es i must send and reply. Maintain personal hygiene while helping my brother with Science while replying SMS-es. Then packing of bag, trying to stuff the mountain of stuff into the biggest bags i can find, while remembering to bring everything while taking note of what to tell the girls to bring, while still replying SMS-es and trying very hard to maintain patience and being kind in my tone. Still i haven't wrap or complete or anything near that to the presents!! I need more than 24 hours!! And i have to carry all that bunk of junk to work, then go buy the things i need for Yong's party THEN go SHHK for practice. 天啊！为什么我的行程排得如此满？！Not to mention my gastric is reminding me to relax....

Sleep, sleep, sleep. I need to sleep not to cover up my eye bags and dark circles, but to prevent my body from collapsing :(((

Thanks to those who are CONSIDERATE. People, please read ALL my msgs and refrain from asking me questions that i have answered BEFORE you asked them. Yes Huangti i'm talking about you!

I need a caretaker :(((

I need a clone.

I need a car. Before that i need a license AND money AND brains to get BOTH of them.

Life's tough.

BAH.

Get Well, Get Fat

2009-10-06T14:42:00.016+08:00

Beyonce is such an awesome lady. Not only on stage when she's performing, but also deep inside. She gave the stage back to Taylor and that's just so nice of her! She also enjoyed herself when Jay-Z's on stage, and that's a strong support she can give him! She's more than a diva! =DD

Moonfest is finally over. The first night was the toughest. The subsequent nights were a lot better. The first show for Saturday was cancelled due to the rain, so we only had 6 shows in total =D It was a fun experience, watching the Diabolo Arts, and they had different patterns every night! Hence on our last show, we came up with a cheeky goodbye =P We cleaned up the whole dressing room, the cleaning aunties would be proud of us! I'd like to thank those who took time and came to support, and even bought drinks or chocolates! I'd like to thank my dancemates for putting in much effort and making it work. I'd like to thank Ms Jenny and Mr Chong for the rides home and supper. I'd like to thank Esplanade and the staff for their help and venue and stuff =) It wasn't our best performance, but i'm proud of us SHHK dancers for being so diligent and respectful towards dance =D Most of all, i think we bonded well =DD Some of us made new friends, and we are tempted to wrap these "new friends" up for Yong Yong! =P Think i pulled my right calf's muscle. BARNACLES.

Went for WRPS on Monday and Tuesday. The girls find me interesting so Monday's lesson went on fairly well. I thought them loads of terms and i kept revising with them. So adorable. Tuesday was the horrors. I've never seen such talkative boys man. MACHIAM AUNITES. So i made the class uber boring and tired. Made them run around the hall in hope to tire them out and shut them up. Failed. They whined even more. One was so thrilled by it he kept wanting to run again. You should join the track & field, boy. All the smart alecs made me wanna slap them, then hang them upside down, but they'll still have something to say. I especially hate those who pick on others, condemning them. Dance is an enjoyable thing, no negative vibes allowed! Unless they provoke you, i allow =P If not just shut up and dance. I keep telling them, "If you have energy to talk, you have energy to do something else" and at the start of the class:

Me: Whoever says something irrelevant will have to give me $1
Boy: I don't have that much money!
Me: It's okay. I've got your parents' contacts

So whenever they shoot off their mouth, i shout, "Irrelevant" and they'll shut their trap. Towards the end of the class, i realise they have no idea what's 'irrelevant'. They think it's 'eleven' or 'ibelevant' or whatever he said. Some are quite cute lah, but seriously, just shut up. After which i award myself a Chuppa Chups lollipop, and headed off to Changi Airport Terminal 3 with Mischa. Went to watch the Michael Jackson Tribute by Edward Moss. HE'S ALMOST THE EXACT REPLICA OF MICHAEL JACKSON CAN? Just that he's too tall, too bulky, and features are too sharp, BUT, he sings, acts and dances like him. IMBAR. Then we had Popeye. The fish looks extremely tender and fresh and pink in health. Literally. The mash potato is damn nice. Has chicken bits in the gravy and it tastes like Chilli Cheese Fries form Superdog. Very good for meal alone.

On Monday evening met up with Pei Yi and bought this small Truffle cake from Prima Deli for Li Ting. Good for 8 people =) We only have 4. Pei Yi was like, "Why are 4 person, whose ages add up to 80, still celebrating expired Mid-Autumn?" i immediate rebut that none of us are past our birthdays, so we only add up to a maximum of 76, and questioned her question 'cause it sounds really awful. Imagine yourself to be 80 years old NOW. I haven't even done anything! It was fun all in all. To meet up with primary and secondary school mates. To re-visit my primary school neighbourhood. Also to burn myself with lighters, candles, wax and sparklers. To eat Western cake, Mooncake, and drink tea. Believe it or not, Xiao Xin actually BROUGHT tea. It wasn't bitter, i quite like it =D I know it's way past Mid-Autumn, but what to do? I was busy performing! And i like the fact that nobody's around doing the same stupid things we're doing. I bet we scare a lot of the people living in that area. I hope nobody got scared by 4 floating laterns XD

I don't know why i'm half day today, but i am. Was so scared i forgot some appointment 'cause it was quite busy the past week. Huang-ti didn't on her handphone i thought what happened to her -_- Ended up meeting An-ti instead and we went shopping at Bugis! I can see the difference in the things we look for. I found this pair of shoes that i like but am reluctant to pay $16.95 for something that won't last me 3 months. Not that i won't wear it, but more of it will wear and tear faster than it should 'cause i'm wearing it. BAH. Anyway we went to Hip Diners and had the 1-For-1 Special. We both had sausages. Yummy. The snail sausage tastes weird. The only vegetable was jagung =DD Another vegetable to add to my 'I Only Eat The Following Veges' List =P

I'm enjoying life now. Work a bit, dance a bit, play a bit =D Okay, maybe i've underestimated the proportions but it's similar =P

Got my pay. Way below $600. What was i doing man. Felt like i worked a lot. I doubt i can even hit $500 this month, with all the events. Sigh. So much for trying to feed myself.

I think i'm getting better. I don't know about milk and coffee, but i am able to eat Popeye, Macdonald's and New York New York. Not bad so far right? But i can't delay meals, much less skip them. I'll get whooped by my gastric, big time.

TIRED. Full day tomorrow. OMG. And i still haven't finish uploading Moonfest photos! AHHH!

Not-so Silent Night, Messed up Night. All is Gone, All is not-nice~

2009-10-03T12:04:00.007+08:00

Work has totally messed up my biological clock. I slept late, i woke up quite early, but of course, waking up does not equal to getting up =P However, it's best for me if i wake up, 'cause my whole room is filled with smell of laquer/paint, and if i continue sleeping, i may end up dead if not brain dead. It's like committing suicide. *shivers* And not to mention feeling uncomfortable that there are Bangladeshes suspended mid-air outside my window like Spiderman, who can peek in any moment at my horrendous sleeping postures, but not that they are Superman, with X-ray eyes to see through the curtains, but then again, you know.

Last night was the first night of Moonfest at Esplanade. Totally sucked. We were all jittery, and we keep forgetting steps. My costume don't fit, and the safety pins pop out the minute i step out of stage. I worry more about being overly exposed than being poked by the should-be-safe-but-not-quite objects. Not to mention extra pressure 'cause most of our best critique, dancer friends, were there to support (and critique). Last but not least, there's a photographer, who uses his lens to critique and that's worse, 'cause photos aren't perception, they are proofs. BAH. I truly appreciate everybody coming down to see us make a fool of ourselves, and am also truly sorry for our lousy performance. I shouldn't be saying these, 'cause it'll bring down the morale of the other dancers, and i should be the sanguine person in this case, but seriously, who am i kidding? Oh man. I'm so hypocritical.

I sucked the most 'cause i'm the only one who couldn't stand straight after the whole performance. The sharp pangs in my chest are common, i always have them after i'm done with 摆手, but the headgear was too heavy i started to feel dizzy. After the second round, i am unable to keep up my smile 'cause i can feel my gastric protesting, and well enough, i kept squatting after the whole item ended, with Wei Jia telling everyone i'm pregnant, and Zhong Shu finishing it with "孩子不是祖佑的!" -_- With all the CME, PCCG, sex education, APEL i've attended, and TV and movies i've watched, do you seriously think i'll get knocked up in a sane, rational, logical, conservative state of mind? I wish i was stronger. And me falling sick had to clash with performances, 摆手 somemore! ARGH. Life has a way of messing me up.

I haven't been obedient anymore with my diet. I seriously am unable to stand most temptations. I had Coffeebean cheesecake, New York New York's mudpie with ice-cream and apple flavoured cotton candy, Macdonald's Fillet-o-Fish meal and other stuff i suppose. I felt fine. Except for Starbucks' Hazelnut Latte >_< I felt released. Like being cooped up in a confined area for so long, i was literally gorging myself. I didn't know i could sustain my plain diet for so long. To think the girls said they wanna eat porridge for these 3 nights to slim down. MY FOOT. Jia Zhen went to eat New York New York last evening with me, and the others ate Mee Sua -_- Where's the porridge and the plain diet man? hahas. But actually, i prefer them to not stick to their words. I highly doubt porridge can sustain their bodies, what with dancing 摆手, and tonight we have 3 shows -_- I'm so dead.

I got a fright when i see that there's only 1 toothbrush left on the holder. I felt like i was in a movie, where every memory i used to have of family was bogus, and that i only JUST woke up to reality. Exaggerating, i know. hahas. Then it stuck me that my family went out of town this morning!!! ARGH. Nobody to buy me food!!!

I need to go. Need to reach early to learn WRPS SYF -_- ARGH. Stupid last minute-ness.

Aching Pain

2009-09-29T00:09:00.011+08:00

Muscle ache. OUCH OUCH OUCH. My back, my neck, my arms, my butt, my thighs, everything. Luckily Jade does Yoga and she helped me do partner stretching. Stretched my thighs and upper back. If not i would be a moaning, crouching old person. With a fat, randomly sponsored, fake crumpler. hahas! We were like stretching in front of the counter, so weird can? Aloysius was like, "Erm, what are you guys doing?" hahas!

I kept thinking about milk milk milk, that i forgot i can't have coffee. And i downed a Grande size Hazelnut Latte. I nearly died. It tasted more of coffee than Hazelnut, don't like. But it only costs me $5 'cause Jade's got the passport, cool-ness. However, it's so not cool that it brought about a round of gastric pain and i had to buy biscuits and consume medicine, AND I'M STILL IN PAIN :((( I should note down what i should and should not eat, create a checklist. Mum added food that i can eat, but i don't know.. I'm beginning to try and eat more stuff, testing the water. I ate a quarter of Green Tea mooncake with Yau Sa centre i think, for breakfast. YUMMY. I didn't die =P

AIYA. It sucks to be sick and weak. I haven't stepped up the weighing machine, and i can't be bothered to wrap myself with measuring tape, but i do notice that my clothes and pants are a tad loose, and i can't find a suitable 摆手 costume!! Lucky no matter how much i don't eat, my head don't shrunk XD But my belt don't fit =/ It's either loose or breaking my pelvis bone. Barnacles. I can't believe i'm saying this, but, I WANNA GROW FAT. Well, more of grow flesh. I dislike chummies, but skinnies are equally distasteful.

I've grown so sick of porridge and Yong Tau Foo, and since i can't eat anything else, i've repelled food totally. Sometimes when i see fried stuff or like donuts, i just feel sick. I just don't wanna think, so just don't eat. Especially when i work at Tanglin, i only eat one main meal. I can't believe i'm saying this, but, 我不想吃东西了。

Using Shi Hui's touch screen handphone for this week. SO DIFFICULT.

Watching 百万大歌星 on channel U. The kids from 百万小学堂 are on. SO CUTE. Especially 小西瓜, super smart in school, and can also remember lyrics! Best is, SHE LISTENS TO OLDIES. I can relate to that man. hahas. But i think she totally cannot make it for Pop songs, but it's okay. hahas! So cute so cute so cuteeee. I want kids like that XDD Jia you kids!! =DD

If i ever have a party, it's gonna be RETRO. I can already think up of the song list =D But like mostly emo songs =X

Working at the toy store. Seen TOO MANY rude kids. I especially hate kids who snatch things from their parents. I think i used to do that and many more. Oh my i'm so rude :( I'm trying to change.

There are a lot of things i hate, but if you can't change the world, change yourself. If you can't change yourself, suck it up! I can't do neither, so i'll just have to hold my peace.

*she holds her breath and her face gradually turns into her favourite colour as she tilts to one side like The Leaning Tower of Pisa and go splat! on the floor*

XD

*stomach growls like something is digging its way out of her stomach >_<*

Killer Moves

2009-09-26T23:55:00.007+08:00

Dance today was horrible. I haven't been training much due to my gastric, so not only am i weak in the digestive system, i'm weak everywhere! My arms couldn't carry my weight, my stomach couldn't last through the training, and i disgracefully hasn't been working hard at barre, so when 老师 chiong-ed 五位擦地 my feet kept rolling in and my ankles couldn't take it. Now they feel super weak and i have no idea how i'm gonna make it for tomorrow's barre work which includes abundance of releves >_< Then Mongolian dance almost killed my knees! Not to mention 摆手 practice for tomorrow! Which will bound to kill my knees as well! And i think i hurt my 尾椎 too :(( OMGOMGOMG. And the floor is dreadfully dirty =/ Need to clean, clean, clean!

Once the 老师们 heard that i have gastric problems, they offer oodles of remedies and food, i was extremely terrified, and SOMEBODY didn't bother to save me. Stop feeding me dubious food..... :(( Just let me have regular, plain meals and Yakult >_<

A memory of mine was suddenly educed. My English vocabulary was deplorable , so i always go to my teacher, Ms Ang, and ask what's what in English and she'd have to think and spell it out for me. By the second time i went up to her, she told me to stop using words that i don't know of. I guess that's not very good, but i thought she was nice. Well, perhaps nice doesn't necessarily go with being a good teacher? Guess i have to thank some potato that kept crashing me with potatoes and i end up being half potato =P

Jagung. hahas!

It ain't a nice ride. He made me realise that i don't have a definition for a 'better, more stable job'. What exactly is a 'better, more stable job'? Is the job i'm having now not good enough? I always thought that i'd be a successful, career woman, but i realised it may not necessarily be what i've always dreamt about.

Okay i'm tired. Sleep, sleep, sleep!

>_< Process of Recovering

2009-09-24T00:14:00.006+08:00

Went to see a new doctor yo. Skip the details but i'm more or less recovered. I just need to strengthen up my intestines and tummy and i'm good to go! The syrup is super sweet. Sick kind of sweet. Like you melt a packet of candies into liquid form and drink it. Well i'm still on the porridge diet 'cause my digestive system is still weak, and i need to drink Yakult. I'm cool with that man. Hilarious thing was, the doctor told me other than milk, spicy and oily foodstuff, i should also stay away from fruits and vegetables. FOR REAL. I was like staring at him and he told me very seriously that those are hard to digest, especially vegetables. I wanted to burst out laughing but i fought it back. I can't let him know i don't eat them! What if he gives me some medicine substitute of vegetables! >_< But other than that, i feel better. Forgot to bring my medicine out today so still feel a bit uncomfortable, but other than that, i'm pretty much fine. I'm beginning to eat normal food. Was forced to eat Yong Tau Foo again, and i chose deep-fried wanton. You have no idea how delicious and heavenly it was to hear the crunch and taste the oily skin! It sounds disgusting but try eating porridge and soft food for a week. I'm a crunch lover. I also stole two pineapple tarts at work today =P They were crunchy and not too sweet too. Yummy. I like pineapple tarts where i can taste the skin, not so much of the paste. I'm a flour lover =P So should i "die" today, it's nobody's fault but mine >_<

Speak of the devil, i think my tummy feels funny again. Uh oh. Talk about retribution. Isn't it a tad too fast? Luckily i'm off tomorrow. I don't wanna go buy another MC and get more medicine and less money. Talking about MC, i forgot to hand it in >_<

Turns out i still got the spelling for Putumayo wrong >_<

Do you know there's mooncake ice-cream. That's so cool lah. I know i'm slow but it's still sort of cool 'cause it's novel to me. Xiao Han tried to persuade me into buying mooncakes when we saw the whole lot of them at Bugis. I would "die" please. It's not something i can keep till i'm well like biscuits you know? But i am really tempted to buy the Black Sesame flavour from Bakerzin :( She ate so many from Goodwood Park lah. What Durian and stuff. All i've ever had this year was samples. Guess it was more than enough huh. Save money Rui, save money! >_<

Watched two movies yesterday! The Proposal and The Ugly Truth. The former is so much better. The latter is full of profanities and yellow jokes =/ Sandra Bullock is still the best! But she's aged a lot. I LOVE the character when she just stepped out. Blew me away. I so idolise strong, independent, career women! XD I cried and laugh a lot. But i think Ryan Renold's being outshined. I think Gerald Butler cannot be a comedian. He doesn't look the part.

A new girl came. Shall update about her again. hahas!

Okay i'm tired. 我要睡觉了，大家，晚安。

Hari Raya, Putumaya

2009-09-22T01:03:00.000+08:00

Erm........ Is Blogger celebrating its birthday month? Why is the obscure slice of cake still.. obscuring?

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO ASK SOME RANDOM PEOPLE OUT FOR A MOVIE? Like really. All i wanna do is catch the movie and get the hell out. More of head home actually. I know it's my fault for being overly spontaneous (or you could call it last minute), but i'm LIKE THAT WHAT. Seriously people, you guys should keep your schedule free for me XD The Proposal and The Time Traveller's Wife is ENDING, like on Wednesday, and i have full shift on Wednesday, so the only free day for me is TOMORROW (or technically today)! BOO. I just wanna hang out with people i've not hung out with recently, or rather just find somebody to sit beside in the dark cinema. Jia Hui told me to watch it alone, but it tempts me to watch BOTH of them. But i don't think i can stuff going to the doctor's and 2 movies, and end in the evening?

Oh yes, i'm going to the doctor's. AGAIN. A different doctor this time, since the doctor downstairs has no idea what's wrong with me and i've finished my medication and my tummy still feels uncomfortable and tomorrow's my off day and i can't possibly do it on my work day since i would be spending money and have no income so YA. How pathetic is that, going to the doctor's on an off day. Sigh. Medicine again :(((

My discomfort is evolving. First it's just uncomfortable, the previous days it was cramps, and it was that time of the month =/ No i didn't mix up the two types of cramps. Being the female species is tough :( I read Reader's Digest and discovered that clinical studies are mostly done on men so the common practices and medication may not work on the opposite gender and there are cases where women are diagnosed wrongly or have missed their golden period and has something damaged one way or another. The horrors! Like, HOW CAN. It also sucks that when people ask me "What's wrong" and i go "I DON'T KNOW!" and i feel like a real dumbass 'cause how can you NOT know what's wrong with yourself? =/

Recent episodes of CSI discuss that people who blog has no regard for privacy. That makes me feel guilty since i often spill my guts out on the blog but it didn't occur to me that some stranger might be reading these 'cause who would wanna read about some boring life of mine right? I don't know why my friends bother but i guess they're equally bored if not more =P So should i terminate my blog? hahas! But word vomit is fun. And typing it out is way faster, just that it's more troublesome when i wanna type on Chinese.

I think the fonts and the design of the new editor for Blogger sucks. Gonna change it back.

If Ng Zu You is gonna bang seh me again, i shall not talk to him again! =P I have no idea why i bother to ask him out. EH SEE THE EFFORT I'M PUTTING IN, MR NG! XP

Today's Hari Raya and i'm working. It's okay 'cause i get more pay than usual (i think). It's not okay 'cause i can't eat all the goodies (not like i'm getting any) but i did chomp down the M&M cookies Hanisa baked XD And i don't think i can eat mooncakes 'cause i feel by the time i'm well, the festival's over and of course i can eat mooncakes anytime but you know, like eating yusheng when it's not CNY (not like i eat them anyway but it's just an example)? But work today was fun 'cause it's Roz and Meiyi, so it's quite slack and Roz is witty, sarcastic funny and he makes me laugh like crazy and distracts me from the discomfort and i realise smart people all end up with simple jobs like us, where it's miles away from the "bright futures" parents and society painted for us. It's starting to make me contemplate, which isn't good since i'm a PROCRASTINATOR. That word starts another story but i need to get some rest. All in all, it was an extremely funny day, which it always is with Roz around but it's better not to let him see this 'cause it'll pump more air into that already-too-huge ego of his, even though i'm usually the bulk of the joke.

Putumaya Kids is a GREAT album. I hope i got the name right. I want that album! =P Oh right, it's a CD Sampler.

Ooh word vomitting is fun =DDD

What's Wrong With My Stomach!

2009-09-17T12:04:00.006+08:00

I am once again stuck at home :((( I feel truly bad about missing work for THREE WHOLE DAYS. I feel truly sorry towards Joo Ann and whoever has to cover up for me. I felt so torn lah. I think negative emotions place a significant amount of strain on my gastric, so i feel even more uncomfortable.

Went to the doctor's again and the doctor has NO IDEA what's wrong with me. It's getting worse too. Yesterday i thought i was fine already, so i went to Riverside, went out for dinner, ate normal food like noodles and wafer rolls, but at night i had the runs again and my gastric was uncomfortable :( This morning i kept visiting the toilet again and i feel worse. Not because i'm unwell but because me being unwell implicated other innocents. Not to mention i dropped a $50 note and lost my MC for the first two days i just wanna kill myself. Do you have any idea how hard it is to earn back the $50?! Teaching at Riverside for 2 hours can't even cover it back. Not to mention on top of the money spent on seeing the doctor, i feel like such a loser. If i use it for consultation, it's necessary, but i had to DROP IT. 不翼而飞。

现在是既不舒服又不开心。连燕慧的礼物也还没买，还得托别人帮我买。我做人做得很失败。吃粥也吃到腻，又不累不想睡，人做到这样，活着根本就是浪费资源！

Just ignore me. I won't defenestrate myself, don't have the strength to :( I need to watch comedies. But i bet even comedies can't cheer me up.

不要再肚痛了啦！我生气了啦！

Still Stuck

2009-09-15T21:59:00.010+08:00

OMG. I nearly opened the door for an unknown uncle! I thought he was my cousin! He was like "OI" and you only "Oi" people you know, right? But anyway, i do. We didn't close the wooden door, and it was dark and all so i just went to get my keys, then when i looked up i was like "OMG who the hell?". He went "Don't open the door" and asked whether the owners are in. I was like, go away go away, i don't wanna reveal anything to you and i don't wanna lie to do that, but i still did lah. He ticked something on his sheet of crumpled paper full of numbers, then walked away. I immediately closed the door. What a blubberhead i am -_-

I am extremely uncomfortable with people asking me where i go to, and why i always return home late. My brother just did that. Like, what has it gotta do with you? I don't know lah, i just don't like.

I'm still stuck at home. I felt unwell today. Such a loser i am. Wanted to head down to Riverside, but Eng Kiat made me stay at home :( All i wanna do is eat, but all i can eat is porridge and that makes me hungry very easily. I ate peanuts, but that made me uncomfortable. Now i'm munching on chicken bits. Yes, i've been eating porridge all day. I slept through my breakfast, and i still feel uncomfortable. Maybe i need to sweat it out. Ah i don't know. This is why i'm not a Biology student. I should become a doctor right? But i'd mostly probably kill more than save. Let's not become plague to the world, shall we?

Watching 命中注定我爱你 these two days. Scenario: If the mother and baby is in danger, as the father, who will you choose to save? If you're the mother, you would choose to lose the baby or your life? Such a sad scene :( I hate choosing, but of course somethings you don't have to choose, it's quite obvious. I don't always have a definite answers, sometimes i go with both, 'cause there's nothing to choose, really.

GAH. It's hard to take lead. Hate it. Hate it! BAH.

Found out it's a wasted effort to try and separate the liquor from the chocolate. Ended up licking the liquor 'cause it's all stuck to my fingers. BAH.

Gim Jio

2009-09-14T22:26:00.013+08:00

I've been eating so many bananas i can become a monkey. Actually, i've only ate 4 but that's the most amount of bananas i've ever ate in a day. Make that the most amount of fruits i've ever ate in a day. My mum thinks eating bananas is the cure for any stomach related illness, including stomach flu. I don't know whether it's entirely true 'cause i've stopped having the runs and i never touch the medicine doctor prescribed. I've only ate porridge, and got super hungry in the late afternoon, i chomp on anything i can find. Sugar peanuts, lao hong chocolate biscuits and cashews. Problem is, nothing's coming out. Guess there ain't that much fibre in a single stalk of banana huh? Actually, it's not so bad to snack on bananas, but if i eat them in the morning i'll feel nauseated. Jade told me that if you put a banana in the freezer, it'll freeze, but the outer layer will turn black too. That's some cool stuff. I told my mum i wanna drink seafood soup and this was our short debate, or rather discussion:

Me: I'm hungry.
Her: What you want?
Me: Seafood soup 'cause i'm craving for sotongs.
Her: Seafood? You're not suppose to eat seafood!
Me: :(
Her: Aiya don't care lah. You have medicine anyway.

And she went down to get me seafood soup. hahas! That's my family's attitude, hence i am proud to say i always recover in a day, 'cause our bodies must be in tuned with our attitudes! XD But i can't entirely say i've recovered since i've been sitting down the whole day and i feel totally fine when i sit down. My stomach still feels a bit queasy when i stand up and i seriously don't know whether i should turn up for work tomorrow. Of course i won't be needed much, but i seriously don't wanna impose on them or create any more trouble for Joo Ann. HOW NOW BROWN COW :( Patt taught me that. Woohoo. I bet the cow's reply will be "Moo~". hahas! Like the wise owl thing i played with Roz at work:

I grabbed a Wise Owl Mobile out of the cardboard box.
Me: Hey this is a wise owl, quick! Ask him some questions!
He asks a random question.
"Owl": Woo.
Asks another random question.
"Owl": Woo.
Him: WOW YOU ARE SO WISE!
And he shines his sarcastic smile.

Get this: He doesn't live in Woodlands. hahas!

The stupidest thing about me is that i crave for all the unhealthy food the most when i can't have them. So my whole day was full of cravings and stomach growling, which i don't even know whether it's because i'm starving, or that my stomach is fighting whatever there is to fight! I wanted to eat sugar donuts, sotong, Lays chips, ice-cream etc. Speaking about ice-cream, there's no milk in popsicles right? So eating popsicles is safe right? Oh i miss Traffic Light :( Jade said they still sell Paddle Pop, but i doubt they still have Traffic Light. It's like the coolest popsicle i've seen lah! I miss the days where i spend 30 cents and buy this rectangular Lime popsicle from the tidbits stall in primary school :(( CHEAP CHEAP. Try pronouncing it. You'll sound like a bird. I know you kids have no idea what i'm talking about. It's not your era. BOO. I can't believe i'm advancing into the twenties. I feel like skipping my birthday. Don't see the point in celebrating inflation and responsibilities. Then again, if i celebrate my next birthday i would regret not celebrating this birthday 'cause it just doesn't make sense to be 21 but you were 19 before this. Pardon me, i'm a highly longwinded AND logical person.

Another thing is that, after rotting at home today, i don't feel like leaving home anymore. Just wanna sit here within my safe confinement, and do whatever pleases me. BOO.

Haven't been at home since the beginning of Ramadan, and hearing all those Muslims pray outloud, i feel a certain sense of calm. Like their strong and unwavering belief turned into this thick, giant blanket. And you all know how blissful it feels to tuck into such a thick, giant blanket when the weather turns cold. Quite an amazing discovery. I think, i think too much. hahas! Oh well.

Can you think of a song with the words 'Yellow' and 'Banana' in it, and has a cow dancing to it? I CAN! "It's a sunny yellow banana day, do the cowcalico banana way (cowcaliciooo). Don't shun the yellow banana - come on and move! To the yellow banana groove~" Da na da na! Marigold blah blah blah. Yea. It's a commercial. Marketing people are bound to love people like me. hahas!

I think hunger is coming soon.

*And she starts biting air again*

*Cues the sound of teeth hitting hard against each other*

I always do that halfway through dance. Ask Jocelene.

Die-Rear

2009-09-14T12:25:00.011+08:00

Diarrhoea :( Not only am i stuck at home, i'm forced to eat only porridge. My porridge has no egg or fried dough sticks. I love fried dough sticks :( I'm okay with porridge lah, but i really wanna drink milk right now, but doctor mentioned time and again: NO MILK. BOO.

It's been too long since i've been stuck at home like this. Ever since i found a job. hahas. That's not very long ago! I wanna go over to Riverside later. Don't wanna waste my day like this. And it sucks, that a day without work actually pass by so fast! Like crap. I've got two days MC though, but no! We shan't be lazy! Must earn money Rui! Must go to work! Still must fork out $50 for mum! On top of $210 for dance, $80 for Grade 11 and the list goes on. DAMN! 我几时欠了一屁股的债？！I didn't do anything!!! T_T I'm a poor bloke. I need a rich husband :((( AHAHAHAHAS. Kidding.

I hope i have kids who earn a lot so i can go do all sorts of stuff like scubadiving or expensive things like that when i'm old. Hee hee. I think my kids will disown me =P

GAH. There's no dance at Riverside today. I AM gonna waste my day away :(

Doc said it's a virus among humans. Hor hor. Zu You you passed to me right?! =P No lah, his is worse. He had stomach flu. So i should feel lucky huh?

我想玩，可是又有钱拿！但那是不可能地！我要免费午餐。。。咳。我做人做得好没骨气啊！

“我不想我不想不想长大~"

Yea. I go nuts when i'm in a confined space. I'm claustrophobic =P And. I can finally spell 'diarrhoea' without checking the dictionary. And i've realised i've always spelt two words wrong my whole life. One is 'kindergarten', another is 'realty'. I always spell them as 'kindergarden' and 'reality' respectively. But, i've never spelt 'scared' and 'weird' wrongly okay! hahas.

Times has given out all The Time Traveller's Wife notebooks :((( Know why? 'Cause they only have FIVE copies. What the hell?! Oh well. I can use my Popular voucher then. Provided that i can find it in Popular and have the time to purchase. OR. I can wait till it depreciates like mad, then purchase. WAHAHAHAS. You have no idea what extreme measures i take to save money. Jocelene thinks i can attend the programme "SMART 省钱王" =D

Oh i saw this girl carrying this bag, and there's this quote: I will take you back into your own history, or forward into it. COOL-NESS.

GAH. I feel like snacking! Which i can't! BOO. Why can't i have fever or something like that? Then i can still snack whatever i want! But of course if i were to have fever, i won't feel like snacking anything, or rather, i would be snacking in dreamland.

Diarrhoea. Mouth also die.

*And zips up her mouth reluctantly*

Sore Loser

2009-09-13T23:24:00.009+08:00

Is it blogger's birthday today? Why is there a piece of cake obscuring the logo? So out of place lah =P

I'm aching all over! I should start cooling down after dance, if not i'll always feel sore. Pun intended.

I agree i'm a sore loser. I'm okay with losing in games and stuff, but i cannot afford to lose in things i should be good in. For a person this small, i'm an overly egoistical person, i know. 要能屈能伸，still learning it the hard way. Sometimes i'm such a boy, rash and egoistic and stuff, but too bad my body and strength say otherwise :( I must train my arm strength so that when i use the longer sword, my hands don't tremble like mad! It's time to carry 1.5 litres XD

I'm tired. Hair isn't fully dry but heck. Sleep is more important. Oh i look like a zombie. Rawrs.

True Believer

2009-09-11T00:09:00.009+08:00

The True Believer (From Facebook)

You've been through a lot in your life. Broken and bruised, you still keep going. You tend to hold promises dear to yourself. You would never lie to yourself. You believe in people and you see the true beauty in everything. Family and friends, whether small or big, you keep them close to you; they mean everything to you. You couldn't bear to break anyone; it would hurt you the most. You don't believe in happy endings, but you do believe that there is always light to every dark; hope to every lost cause; beauty in the filth; two sides to every story. You believe that no one should be alone; you've been through that as well. Congratulations, true believer; keep being honest to yourself and others. Let no one tell you otherwise. You walk a long road, believer... Don't stop.

When You Believe - Mariah Carey
Many nights we pray
With no proof anyone could hear
And our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understand

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we know we could

Oh yes, there can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracle
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away

And now I am standing here
My heart's so full, I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fear, ohh
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can?t see your way safe through the rain
Thought of a still resilient voice
Says love is very near

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will, how you will
You will when you believe

You will when you believe
Just believe
You will when you believe
Just believe
You will when you believe

Where did Mariah Carey go to man? hahas.

Unlucky Day

2009-09-09T23:30:00.009+08:00

Today is suay day.

Was reading the board while waiting for 169 with my earphones plugged in. I heard some vehicle noise, turned around to see the driver drive off without stopping for me O_O Which made me shout "UNCLE! 你怎么可以这样?!" So i walked to the station, and painters and uncles had to stare at me. What? Never seen a walking human being before? =/ That really put me off. Especially when you caught them staring and they very deliberately try to turn away and pretend they weren't looking. Nice try but i can see why you're not in Bollywood or Mediacorp. I was about to reach when one drop of rain hit me. I tried to walk faster, but rain started pelting. Great. Went to Aston's for lunch and they took damn long to cook the damn chicken and i was so hungry i just wanna bite everything in sight hard. When it finally came it was lukewarm. Not hot, but lukewarm.

What's best is that i just typed this whole chuck of stuff and there was something wrong with the Internet and it wasn't saved. BEST.

Now i am truly irritated by technology and everything else that breathes. Imma go to bed. It seems safe enough. I hope my dreams don't irritate me further.

RAWR.

Blogging For The Sake Of Blogging

2009-09-08T23:47:00.005+08:00

I'm tired and lazy. But just feel like i should blog? hahas. Blogging for the sake of blogging.

I got a letter from NLB. Coercing me to pay my fines! BOO. I am reluctant to pay 'cause it WASN'T me. BAH. Stupid stupid stupid.

My colleague got me Salmon Sushi with Wasabi. I have finally know what it feels like to be choked by it. It's more of bitter than anything else and it sucks. Don't get why some people love it.

My boss is a really intelligent and knowledgeable lady, but i am unable to stand and absorb all those in an hour. I have an attention span of a kid.

I bossed two kids around today 'cause they were too greedy and they leave everything around the store. Luckily they listened to me =D

I cheered a boy up with a White Mouse Puppet 'cause he didn't wanna leave the store. He promised he won't cry but when he stood up and started walking, he whined and cried again. o_O? Is that normal behaviour? Did he really talk to me or was he somewhere else but just pretend to listen. Scary man.

You know the more you play a game, you're suppose to get better at it? Not me. Initially i have 3 pieces left on Solitaire, but the next time i played, i only cleared 6 pieces. I realised the first time i played i was dreaming, but when i concentrated the second time, i got stuck.

I hate it when i keyed in eveything in the cash register, then the customer realises she has coins, like wa lao. I really suck at Math, and under such circumstances i cannot think or calculate. I'm scared. My boss thinks that if somebody isn't good in Math, it's always because somewhere in their lives, there was a bad Math teacher. My mum blamed my Math teacher too. I can't decide which. I do know parents, teachers and guides have a huge impact on a child, and much so ever since i took up this job. I feel pressured. About kids. GAH. Don't let me get in contact with any please. I don't wanna mess up their lives >_<

I have off day tomorrow. Like finally. I feel worn out. Don't know why. I haven't been doing much.

Time to sleep!

Times Traveller

2009-09-05T00:46:00.003+08:00

I wanna watch The Time Traveller's Wife. I wanna buy the book. Don't know whether i should buy it from Times, Harris or Popular. Times is giving away free movie pass OR notebook, and the latters i have discount couponS which expires this month. GAH. I don't mind receiving it as a birthday present, but i think the notebook would be out by then? BAH.

OMG Lee Hom's concert!!! If he comes back to Singapore, don't think i'll go anyway. I dislike concerts, like really. I don't have the patience or energy to keep up with it. I can fall asleep during performances too, like dance. Serious.

Need to sleep! Outbreak like mad! BOO :(((

Weird People

2009-09-01T00:26:00.008+08:00

I see lots of weird things when i walk home. My neighbourhood is generally quiet, but there are a handful of night crawlers, bugs included. They can be found under void decks, walking their Husky, walking home, sitting at playgrounds or fitness corner, random benches or on the floor, and they range from kids with older siblings or parents, to rebellious teenagers, to lovey-dovey couples, to sarong-wearing Bangladeshes, to loud Chinese, to beer-downing uncles, to cockroaches. Last night there was this Chinese uncle and a Bangladesh i think, sitting on the benches, and when i walked past, the uncle said, "Hello". I pretended to look on the floor and be dazed while listening to music. I seriously hope he's saying hello to the person next to him, but it doesn't make sense since they've been sitting there for a while. I just got freaked out. Or another time where i was walking behind the blocks, the road was dim and i saw this black-bigger-than-spot-spot on the road and the moment i was about to step on it, it struck me that it could be a cockroach and well enough, the cockroach started scurrying and i nearly stepped on it. Like, OOPS. Afterwards i looked up to the second floor and there was this girl looking out of the window, but no lights were on so i can only see her silhouette. That's rather scary since it's the Ghost month now. Then there was today, where there was this girl in the lift, and a guy guarding in between the doors, insisting that the girl come out, while she remained rooted to the ground. I nearly couldn't get home. Wanted to call the police 'cause i was quite worried for the girl, but i thought, if it happened to a friend and i, i won't want to get the police involved, but then again, none of my friends would do that to me. To all the Bengs and Sengs, please kindly bring your affairs to somewhere else where innocents can still get home un-interrupted? And irregardless whether she's Lian or Hua, she's still a lady and deserves to be treated like one, so please act like a gentleman. I don't get why the kids on my blocks always get into such situations. This is quieter compared to the previous shoutings of another couple (i think), but still as scary.

Talking about people, i found out that Jade from my workplace doesn't listen to Pop. She listens to Acoustics and Lounge. That's pretty eccentric. She also listens to Trance, Korean, Japanese, 80's and Heavy Metal. That's really weird. hahas. But she's a cool person. She's not as young, but i keep thinking she's around my age and i KEEP asking the same questions over and over and OVER again about whether she's planning to continue her studies. She's a Australian graduate can? ARGH. I'm having serious short-term memory >_<

Today there was this customer who looks like a secondary school student, and i didn't realised she was slightly different until she discovered the Jack-in-the-Box and giggled out loud and starts to play obsessively with it. I'm slow i know. Later which she starts singing, and roaming about with a few figurines in her hands, which she did not buy. I think she put it back. I hope.

I'm so not a retail person. I am unable to approach ANYBODY to say hi and whether they need my help. Personally i dislike sales people to approach me, but of course, they must say their thank-yous when i buy something or things like that. I can see whether they need help or not and i feel real dumb to break into their browsing trance. I am more than willing to help, but not interrupt.

I'M OFF TOMORROW. WAHAHAHAHAS. Work isn't THAT hard, but it feels great to have a day off. Like i've earned it or something. And my last day off wasn't really what you called relaxing when i've only had like, 5 hours of sleep? But it was a fulfilling day. Somewhat. hahas. I feel like i don't deserve the day off since i didn't do much except saikang at work. Ah well. They don't need me.

Can you believe my schedule has been planned till November? I'm not fully booked. Yet. But it's still exaggerating to have my November calender filled up. My October is super packed 'cause of all the performances and i've signed up for da:ns crew and that i have work. I hope it doesn't cause Joo Ann much trouble!

Celebrated Teachers' Day on Sunday. Zina and her god-ma baked us a huge Chocolate Brownie Cake with Gummy Bears! It's nice! And some of the jie jie-s and kor kor came back. With a kid who loves to kung-fu and dance. It runs in the family. hahas. Shawn and Aaron came back as well, so it was like a reunion or something. Think 老师's quite pleased. However, somebody has to spoil the day. Ah. Apple of Her Eye. Whatever.

Eng Kiat is planning to buy me masa. You know, role-playing toys? I'd rather he buy me a real oven =P I should start writing a Wish List, so people don't get me things i don't need. And i can save money =P It's okay if i don't get anything. I'd rather get nothing than something i'm gonna waste. I'm difficult i know XD Did you know The Better Toy Store has a Wishlist too? That means you can fill up whatever gifts you wanna get in the store, and when your friends/relatives go over, they can look through the list and choose what they wanna get for you. So you sorta know what you're gonna get and your loved ones need to torture themselves over the variety, and you get what YOU want. Cool eh? I should get myself one too, problem is the things i'm attracted to are for five years and below..............

The Better Toy Store

2009-08-29T23:03:00.030+08:00

Best & Worst Foods for Your Cholestrol. Well, that's in America, i think foods in Singapore should be quite safe. I THINK. I didn't get A1 for F&N or Home Economics, so i don't really know exactly how much sodium or calories one should take in a meal and all, but i know too much isn't good, and trans fat is really bad.

As you all know i've started work at a toy store. No it's not Toys R' Us, why does EVERYBODY thinks it's that!? It's this store called The Better Toy Store, and that SERIOUSLY is its name. Gladys thought it's just a better toy store so she couldn't find me -_- We also have The Better Gift Store, true life! It's quite fun actually, and i learnt a lot about children, children toys, and games from France and Germany. They also have games from Thailand, Taiwan, Holland, Switzerland, US and China. It's fun when we get to play games during our free time, but most of them has things to do so i get pretty bored :( All i do is arrange the shelves, fold paper bags, do things for the seniors, 'cause my product knowledge is severely limited so i can't really help customers. If i do, you'll see me running around to find my seniors to ask where is what, and whether we have this or that and directions. I suck at the floor plan of Ngee Ann City. I need to find some time to SHOP at Ngee Ann City. Like, why would i shop at Ngee Ann City in the past? They have Mont Blanc and Guess, and how the hell am i suppose to afford it? I always go to Basement 2 for food, i rarely head up. Only do that when i want to go Books Kinokuniya or Art Friend. That's all. So it's really killing me. Not to mention standing for 10 hours (exclusive of lunch and dinner breaks), and all those dust. I've been inhaling dust like oxygen. They have too many toys and games, and nobody really has the time to clean the WHOLE store everyday, so most of their stuff are FULL OF DUST. We vaccumm every night, so the floor is pretty clean, and the train tracks, Schleich and Papo figurines, and Bobby Cars aren't covered with dust 'cause the kids play with them EVERYDAY. It's quite a new experience actually, beats selling clothes 'cause i really LEARN. The staff are friendly, but overwhelmingly friendly it scares me. They expect me to go, "Yo man, Waz' up bro'" the first moment i saw them, which is unlike me so they were like, "Erm.. Are you the shy type of person?" and they KEEP asking me, "Rui Ling are you okay?" -_- If you're my parents, or my secondary school friends, or Jia Zhen, you'll see i am extremely capable of keeping myself occupied when surrounded by so many stuff, and when i do get occupied, i'm in my own world and people get the impression that i'm austistic or some sort, which is a question i wonder a lot but no. I just get pretty engrossed. I suppose they find that freaky. Time flies faster that way. But i'm getting bored. 'Cause Jo Ann is always busy, and i don't see Sarah anymore, so nobody plays games with me. There were younger girls yesterday, Jade and Adeline, and we played Piou Piou! That was fun. It was Adeline's last day when i've only met her for the first time! :( She borrowed a Poloroid from her friend, bought Poloroid films and it's DAMN EXPENSIVE. I thought they've stopped production for it. I've always wanted a Poloroid. And Ross is a hilarious Chinese-Muslim. He was the first person i opened up immediately to. I learnt about Justice League's Red Lanterns from him. There're also the Blue Lanterns, Green Lanterns and Yellow Lanterns. Didn't really had the chance to ask about more colours. He's a really funny guy. I like him a lot. He's as crappy as me, but more creatively and less lame XD Jo Ann is a really nice person who smiles a lot. I wonder what's there to be happy about. She smiles everytime somebody looks at her, and even in the morning when she opens up the store. I'll have the blank face, and she'll have the smiley face. I seriously wonder why she's always so happy. BUT, i think she's really suitable to be there. Her product knowledge is WOW can. There's another Malay guy, Bandi i think, he's also another powerful guy. He knows the brands of prams! Like he knows which brands has what designs and all. Like he's a GUY! I can't even name any brands of prams! That's imbar (is it spelt that way?) man.

Another good thing about work is that i can save more money AND slim down. I always starve myself till 2 plus before having lunch, and eat dinner at around 8+. So i'm inhaling dust AND starving. hahas. And i try not to spend more than $10 a day, so i bring a $10 note out and some coins. I'm poorer than when i'm in secondary school lah. There is guy called Kasey who just came back from the States, and he's damn cheapo and proud of it. hahas. He bombarded me with all the cheap food stalls in Lucky Plaza the first day i've met him so he helps me save =D Can you believe he's MARRIED? I believe i'm the youngest person there >_< Especially with Jo Ann around, i feel like i'm a kid.

By the way, 石头 from 五月天 came to our store yesterday. He needed to fill up something, and he asked, "contact number?" and Adeline was like, "ya we need your contact number" 'cause Adeline has NO CLUE who he is. Jo Ann was like ga-ga over him. hahas. EARLY IN THE MORNING somemore. hahas. SMS-ed Patt and she was like, "PICTURES? AUTOGRAPH?". He's a customer lah, how can take photo? Autograph? Have. On our form. Got his name and contact number somemore. hahas! Ross told Jo Ann if the concert didn't start on time, SMS him and ask, "Eh where are you guys?" XD Told you he's hilarious.

I never really like soft toys, but after seeing their TY collection for nearly a week, i see LOTS of cute soft toys and i WANT XD But i'll never buy. Like, what the hell am i suppose to do with them? Get them home to collect Woodlands dust? For your information the last time i sent my soft toys for washing was like a couple of years ago, so ya. But they're REALLY cute =D

I wanna buy their puzzles too, but it's for 3-5 years old, and the puzzle pieces are really huge, so they can get up to 60+ centimetres breadth-wise? Wow haven't used 'breadth' since secondary school. Anyway, i'll need to frame them up and i don't think i'll want to constantly wipe them and it's rather difficult if you've seen how my room looks like...

I hope i'll get sick of them by the end of the month so i won't be tempted to buy any of them 'cause i get discounts. But if i get a compliment letter i won't hesitate to pick something expensive! WAHAHAHAS. We have this benefit that if the customer sends a compliment letter about you to the company, you get to pick a free item that is less than $200 in the store! That IS, if anybody bothers to write.

I'm quite exhausted these days 'cause i only get to sleep like 5-7 hours? Was busy with Elizabeth's scrapbook, yes i know i'm to be blamed since i procrastinated =X It wasn't very well done, but it's cool that i get to do scrapcooking. It looks nothing like those you see in Made With Love or on crafts books, it looks a lot worse, but i'm happy to be able to get a reason for doing art & craft =D But it really depleted my brain cells man. I'm proud to say i never tore out any pages okay?! WAHAHAHAS. A lot of my ideas fell through but oh well. A few of us sent her off, and it's quite saddening. Did you know the skytrains at Changi airport will be closed for maintenance from 0230 till 0500? So you'll have to take shuttle bus, which Shu Yue and i don't know where so we took a cab, and that bloody cab driver dissed us for wanting to get to Terminal 1 from Terminal 2. WTH. Bought a card game for Zina called Grimaces, Shu Yue, Zina and i had a go after our Macdonald's breakfast, and it's funny lah. It's quite difficult too though. And it's for 6-10 year olds by the way. hahas!

Went for this workshop at NAFA on Wednesday night. Everybody bang seh! So only left Yong Xin, Jia Feng and me. There were Jia Feng's classmates and Malay dancers from PA too so the class was rather full. Yong Xin and i spent 15 minutes trying to locate the classrooms! I think we've been through the whole Campus 3. We learnt about the basic Laban Motifs, which are dance notes, like musical notes. Quite fun, with all the turning and running, but i don't really like freestyle, i was expecting a teach-movements class. I'm have quite limited body vocabulary, so i always get depressed. Haven't done anything academic for months, so when we had to sit and take down notes, i couldn't catch what she was talking about. If i get back to school in a few years time will i be like that too? OMG. Yong Xin was just stoning lah. It was a 2 hours class so it ended quite late.

Jia Hui was finally here today! But Zina wasn't :( I also wanna bake cake :( 老师 suddenly did barre, centre and 身韵! But the 波浪组合 was simplified and it's really weird. Then we tried out the compiled music for Mongolian dance and it was OMG. Too fast >_< Lastly we did 双手剑。Ended quite early. WHEE.

Okay i'm really tired. Gonna hit the sack. Home-made cake tomorrow! Yum yum =D

But, You Know.

2009-08-21T00:27:00.007+08:00

Had a REALLY boring day.

Spent most of my time waiting for Ms Wang =/ Can't blame her since i asked her out spontaneously, and people need to study for their exams lah. Walked from Bugis to Dhoby Ghaut. Bought David Cook from Gramophone, surprisingly, it only costs $14.95! Of course if i could find an album that i like with the red sticker it would only cost $10. But, you know. His songs super rock, and his voice like BOOM! Well it's nice to emo to, but it's not a great select if you just wanna chill. Bought 原谅我就是这样的女生 - 戴佩妮 from Sembawang Music Centre for half price, which is $12.50. She attempted various styles of music yet again and it's uber cool-ness can? WAKAKAKA. I think she's under a lot of stress 'cause some of her songs are rebellious and a shout out to those who doesn't appreciate or overly-criticise her. hahas.

I finished my seventh book, Brida by Paul Coehlo. I don't even think i got the gist of what the story is trying to depict >_< It's mostly in layman terms. But, you know.

Don't know why i had a headache right from the start, and i had to spend most of the day alone, so it was quite a torture. Was very tempted to go home, but suddenly felt that home is very far away......... Even though it's only less than an hour's journey. But, you know.

Everybody's either left, leaving, or too busy with their meaningful life except me. I'm trying hard to find a job. I stopped over at Springfield today asking. But, you know.

Dance is a love-hate thing. But, you know.

My laptop is lagging and hanging like nobody's business, and i should send it for re-formatting or some sort. But, you know.

I need to go catch up some sleep and cut my nails. But, you know.

I don't :(

Killer Flip-Flops

2009-08-19T22:44:00.007+08:00

Articles: Can Your Flip-Flops Kill You? Apparently we just have to stop being itchy-hand =D

12 Power Foods to Shrink Your Gut. Out of which i eat 7, but of course, i don't eat them often. Do you?

Marriage Is Good For the Brain. Start getting married people. Preferably somebody who is slightly difficult to stimulate your brain, but not overly difficult that they evoke all sorts of diseases like heart attack, stroke, hypertension, that sort. Unless you wanna a shorter life, then what's the use of keeping your brain? You get my drift.

7 Tips To Improve Your Memory. I've got another tip: WRITE IT DOWN. Unless you forget where you've placed your organiser/notebook/that piece of paper. Also stop hitting your head, you not only hit some bruises into your scalp, you probably hit some of your memory out too.

I forgot to mention that i had dinner with Xiao Xin and Li Ting last night. It was funny talking about students we had and how we deal with them. Li Ting had to make Mango puddings for her tuition student, so we had some too!! =DD

Met up with Sze Ling and Hui Yi just now. I actually forgot the reason why i'm meeting them >_< Waited super long before we could have our dinner. I think we could call it supper. Missed her so much. Hui Yi was shocked to see me in shorts, thinks i look like a kid waiting for her mum. I usually wear jazz pants to school, does it make such a huge difference?

I'm hanging out with the weirdest combination right now. Like the juniors combination, the secondary school combination, the primary school combination, the usual ones, the dance combination, the Cheng combination, the poly combination. It's just damn weird, 'cause i onlt ever hung out with the dance and usual combination. My social life's getting colourful ain't it?

Oh i'm procrastinating. I thought i am only capable of procrastinating homework, but no, i'm capable of ANYTHING! 所谓人一懒起来，什么都做不出来！hahas! Can you believe i HAVEN'T finished watching Boys Over Flowers? I've read like 6 books, but i cannot finish less than 30 episodes of drama, to think i was a TV kid!

When i got off the bus i thought the haze was getting worse, until i see lighted incense sticks surround the perimeter of the grass patch, and that people were burning stuff. Is it the start of the Ghost Festival? I thought it's not so soon? Oh well, what do i know. I'm just an ignorant kid! hahas.

找工好难

2009-08-18T22:39:00.006+08:00

Article: What Your Sleep Personality Says About Your Waking Life. I think i'm the Long Sleeper, also a bit of Restless and Dreaming.

Anyway went for the Royce interview and i didn't get through. Died on the spot when i told them i'm not available on Sundays. BAH. I was freaked when i see that i'm number 72 and that the converted meeting room into a waiting room was full and that most of them are dressed like they work in the office. 夸张 i tell you. One of them even recognised me when i was on my way to the MRT station. That freaked me out even more.

I want a job that allows me to work only on weekdays, pays me at least $6 per hour and that i can choose not to work when i have performances!!! ARGH. Studying is so much easier. And i must be interested too. Everybody is asking me to teach tuition, 可我不想误人子弟。AHHHH. I should just 钓个金归婿 right? Our plan of marrying an about-to-pass-away billionaire, inherit his fortune, marry another billionaire, inherit again thus becoming a trillionaire, and we can do what we like. Well, fat hope but it's still a plan ain't it? hahas.

Is it that impossible to have the better of both worlds?

Anyway there's this Green + Red for $20 Sticker CDs promotion going on at Music Junction, HMV and Sembawang Music, and both David Cook and The Fray are one of them! But both are Green stickers. Saw the Bugis stall selling The Fray at $9 but the CD look damn lousy so i'm tempted to get the album at MJ for $16.90 or something like that. Should i? Or should i just search more outlets of MJ or HMV to find another Red Sticker CD that i like?

Fight Back

2009-08-17T21:41:00.011+08:00

Articles: Resilience: Build skills to endure hardships. So make sure you fight back. Don't start a fight anyhow though. However tempting it is to kick the butt of the person in front of you, resist, although i don't =P

8 Foods That Get You Going In The Morning. I thought it's unhealthy to drink cold drinks in the morning? Oh well, they only tell you food that helps you to wake up, not food that are healthy right?

Foods That Stop Soreness. I sure hope they work. I always experience muscle aches >_<

Two Minutes to Happiness. Well, we all need this don't we?

Why A To-Do List Keeps You Healthy. The pop-ups are just plain irritating.

Walked home just now and there's this guy smoking in front of me. Didn't feel like brisk walking although that's a good way to exercise, so i walk ever so slowly. A few moments later i look back, and see three shady looking men, so i sped up. Turn back again and they were gone, but i'm again close behind the smoker and it's frustrating, so i decide to walk in front of me, and man, short legs do have their disadvantages >_< Just when i thought i was safe, there's this bunch of Indians in front of me -_- Darn, what's wrong with this neighbourhood man? I feel safer walking behind them although there's this proverb 螳螂捕蚕，黄雀在后。I think it's a wrong usage but i don't really care 'cause i find meaning in it =P Aiya, i just feel safer lah, unless they turn around and chase me, i doubt i can outrun them. The previous incident has shown me the disadvantages of short legs.

Was at Toa Payoh Central's Macdonald's, and one of the dustbin caught fire! It was smoking and the whole Macdonald's filled with a film of choking mist. The staff had to walk around and spray Air Wick. It's rather amusing that nobody screamed or run away or anything. Should i say that they have utter faith in Macdonald's, that thei'r lives won't end in that manner, or they're simply too lazy to be bothered?

On Sunday morning i made pancakes! Somewhat from scratch. Bought the mix from Muji, $3.90 i think, then add an egg and estimated amount of the mix and milk, and mixed with a fork 'cause i don't have a whisk. The translation is just confusing so i just agar-agar, what i do best =P It looks weird 'cause i used Chocolate Milk since i don't drink plain milk. And they need to be cooked on low heat, so it took some time for it to be brown like that, and it's boring lah, to stand there to wait for it to burn, and apparently i put too much milk 'cause i ended up with quite a few pieces and i couldn't finish them. They don't have taste, and pancake just ain't right without maple syrup. I tried honey, tastes wrong so i ended up with grapes instead. I tried to make a person, or rather a girl out of it. My imagination is just superb isn't it? =P My first and i'm quite proud, even though Jia Hui thinks they look horrible. Well, food always look horrible but taste good don't they? hahas!

Random wish: I want all of The Fray's albums! XD

Going for Royce interview tomorrow. I really hope i get in and get 5 days week which is highly impossible. ARGH.

BeLIEve

2009-08-12T00:14:00.013+08:00

I.. Should stop eating.

Didn't had a proper meal on Monday. Met up with Genevieve, Patrick and Xiao Han at Far East, where i bought Curry Chicken with Cheese Dips from Chippy's. Then we went to Cineleisure to take neoprints! That was so secondary school. We were like the oldest group there lah! Then we went to Orchard Central for Rock Band! Gen is so good at guitar. Finally had a chance to try the fruit tarts at Fruits Paradise! It's quite nice if you choose the flavours that you like, we had Chocolate Mint and Caramel Banana, and 2 pots of tea, something with pear, and the other with lots different ingredients which i couldn't remember. The teas totally sucked. I hate caffeine free tea. They smell nice but they have no taste! BLEAH. I'd rather drink full-bodied English tea. The one with pear smells funny and tastes like the bitterness of Chinese tea, the other smells sickeningly sweet, tricks your brain into thinking it has the same taste, but then you realised it has no taste. It's quite complicated actually. I think the mint cream is too much, but the tart base is nice. I don't fancy caramel (i don't taste any anyway) or bananas that aren't on its own so i shan't comment. It added up to slightly below thirty, since a slice of tart is around $8 or more, and the pots of tea comes at $4 each due to the set, and adding on the ++ and ta-dah! Afterwards we went to Takashimaya to look at scrapbooking stuff, and Patt had to leave. Went to Ion to check out Muji and lastly went to Wheelock's Canele for soup. We had Saffron with Clam Chowder, Apple and Cinnamon Pancake with Seasalt Caramel Ice-cream and We Love Chocolate. That was our dinner 'cause the soup and the free-flow bread alone stuffed us silly. To think i shared the soup with Xiao Han, and Gen said the bowl is smaller than the ones they use at bakery outlet. The pancake is nice, but We Love Chocolate is a total letdown. it's a small slice of Chocolate cake drizzled with Chocolate syrup, decorated with all the berries, chopped walnuts and biscotti. Biscotti with Chocolate syrup was yummy though. That, wasn't cheap either. Photos some other time. My portable hard disk is in the drawer in my room. Nope, i ain't in my room, even though i am under the same roof =P

Met up with Jia Zhen today to do her powerpoint on Uyghur （维吾尔） Dance. Had rice with Seafood soup before i went out, but i ordered a Mango Fish Wrap Combo anyway to join her. Was super stuffed. Sat at Esplanade library till it closed. Read lots of Dance Magazines, Dance Sports and Seventeen US. Did you know Wade Robson is choreography dance for Criss Angel's Believe? If i'm not wrong it's also a collaboration with Cirque. SO COOL. I wanna watch leh. AND AND AND, why is there a 'lie' in 'Believe'? DOUBLE COOL. Then we went to Macdonald's and i had fries with vanilla cone. Hot and cold, salty and sweet, SO NICE ^_^ But i feel stuffed again. Back home i was greedy i ate one Chocolate Bun now i'm really stuffed >_<

I should really stop eating. hahas.

I wanna dance! I wanna swim! I wanna rollerblade! I wanna read!

Okay that was random XD

Now i wanna sleep. So tired X_X But i still feel stuffed :(

This is a sarcastically funny article: 10 Things Summer Blockbusters Teach Us About Life.

Oh right. Like i've said, i've read quite an amount of magazines today and they made me wanna dream again. Like being a Journalist, Photographer, Dancer or a Chef. But seriously how many people can make it? I found that there's this girl who used to be a Ballerina, is now a Photographer for Dance. That's uber cool-ness. You can get to see dancers AND take photos at the same time. How cool is that? And Nigella Lawson used to be a Journalist before hosting and cooking things. That's two off my list! That's cool too. Ah. Dreams. They only occur when you're asleep.

I want Skittles AND NDP Fun Pack :(

2009-08-09T00:14:00.014+08:00

Sat outside 04-09 discussing about candies and marsh mallow with Jocelene. I was quite warmed up for dance today WHEE =D I can touch the bar bending backwards, and i can do a fake right split. Doing all the flips and cartwheels were fun. But while doing front walk Mr Chong and Edmund LET GO of me so i fell flat on my back with a spat. I felt both hands slip from my sides while my body gathers gravity. Like, WA LAO. Hurts can? To think i trust them with my life/body. Mr Chong said my back is like Zu You's: Stiff so people do front walk, i'm almost doing a flip :( But i think i'm more flexible today le leh :((( Then was Mongolian dance and it was killer for my knees man. Then 老师 changed some things for 双手剑 and i could neither get it nor remember. During dinner Jia Feng asked me to eat more fish -_- Thanks ah. =/ Zina has a new name: 司徒碧娜。 hahas! On the way home Mr Chong gave Jia Feng and me do this quiz from the book he was reading. We are so different. hahas. Found the quiz on Facebook but the questions are quite different?

Zina Tan actually asked me out on Friday! hahas. We went to Heerens' Waraku de Pasta for lunch! Then i introduced her to Rock Band/Guitar Heroes at Orchard Central, now she's hooked too! XD There were 2 guitars, they dismantled the drum set :((( We don't know how to start the machines and BRAVE ZINA went to ask! XD So now i know how to start up the machines le! WAHAHAHAS. I think the staff were very amused at us. We attracted a few people okay? FREE ADVERTISEMENT! =P Zina kept dying! But later we managed to complete a song! Hurray!

Then we walked to Ion 'cause i wanted to see something. Bought French Cinnamon from Taiyaki and Nutty Chocolate from Dunkin' Donuts. French Cinnamon wasn't hot :( And the donut sucks. I still prefer the extinct Munchy Donut. Wanted to catch a movie but the showtimes at Lido were quite late, so we walked back to Somerset but Jia Zhen called, so we walked all the way to Plaza Singapura. Ended up she bought Yumi Yoghurt and i bought Calamari from Chippy's. NICE but expensive ($4.80). Jia Zhen went to meet Andrew and we went to find a movie to watch. Tickets at Plaza Singupura and The Cathay were selling out fast so we went to LaSalle. Ended up Sudhee, Andrea, Samantha, Yong Xin, Yan Hui, Ai Shin and both of us went back to catch UP. We got first row in Plaza Singapura and we either fell asleep or feel our necks are breaking. It was real sad i kept tearing :( It was funny as well.

Thursday went to see Mischa along with Pei Yi and Roxanne. We were so bored we were fooling around with the stethoscope and seeing how it feels like to hear heartbeats. They all think it's the bigger side, but i figured it was the smaller side *proud* The heartbeat is real dull and soft, so if the patient talk or breathe too hard you can't hear it. Talked about our secondary school days and had a great time! It was also Zu You's birthday! That stupid boy made me go all the way to Cheng Ballet =/ And i walked from Novena okay? Since he was the birthday boy, i forgive him =P Bought this =P cake from Angie the Choice, so cute lah. We surprised him at the lift, and i was surprised too 'cause i didn't know they were coming up, but i composed myself and we all sang Happy Birthday, and the way he reacted was so like last year but without the rolling. Eng Kiat helped him to sweep the floor and throw the rubbish lah. And my title was Assisant of Assistant Stage Manager. I wanna do Pointe :( Ate KFC, which gave me diahorrea 'cause my gastric has been very weak since the beginning of the week but do i care? So sometimes you see me deliberately puffing 'cause my gastric is acting up again.

Dance tomorrow. Bah. I wanna do flips again. I like the adrenaline =P

I wanna eat Skittles. But Shop & Save and 7-11 doesn't have it :( The craving originated from this ant-infested M&M that i saw on the ground and since i prefer M&M with Peanuts, and Smarties sucks, so there you have it =)

Mischa is discharged! Yay!

Anybody knows where to buy cheap plain books for scrapbooking? Like the ones we see in Prints? A5-size, landscape, ringed.

Oh! It's the next day le! Happy National Day y'all and i think i didn't hang the flag Paul! hahas. Added Paul 'cause i think it rhymes. Oh well ignore! I wanna go watch NDP! What matters most to me is the Fun Pack! I should go volunteer next year and kapok one! =D It's not fair that my brother went for the preview and Zina is watching the OFFICIAL ONE TOMORROW! :( I should get to know her father =P

Com-mu-ni-ke-bel

2009-08-05T20:36:00.005+08:00

This is a very important information!: Two Minute Skin Cancer Test. It helps in a sense, but i still have no idea whether any of my moles are deadly T_T

Just watched Overheard. It's another story with no happy ending. Well at least the bad guy didn't get away this time? Again, if only they didn't hide the truth. A bit of gore at the end. I find it cruel to kill the whole family :(

Went to Communicable(try saying that OUT LOUD) Disease Centre in the afternoon after North Vista. I stutterred trying to pronouce the full name to the MRT staff, and just used CDC on the bus captain but he went "HAR?" and i try to stutter the word before he goes "ORH" -_- 'Communicate' and 'Communication' are alright, but 'Communicable'? You can take Bus 21 outside Velocity/Novena Station, and it's 2 stops away. Walk straight up pass Ministry of Health for CDC 1, but walk back, turn right up a tedious slope to CDC2. I WENT BOTH. Because Mischa didn't state which one. It was a LONG walk to and fro -_- Good exercise and i get to learn more routes huh? I was scared to death when i heard she was in Tan Tock Seng's A&E, then admitted to CDC 2! It was painful to see all those IV needles stuck on the back her right hand, and see that she's shaking from the medication :( All i could do was sit there and accompany her. The whole place was damn quiet, the security was stern, but the nurses in her ward were nice. The mask stinks and the sanitiser pump was so strong my whole hand got wet from one spray.

Gotta go.

Articles from MSN

2009-08-03T23:28:00.009+08:00

Article: 10 of the Quirkiest Vehicles on the Road. I would like to ride in the Telephone Car ^_^

Another article: 8 Sleep-Induced Foods. I wonder will you still wake up the day after if you consume ALL 8 in one go? hahas! I think you would get diarrhoea. Barnacles. I still don't know how to spell diarrhoea after all these years! >_<

Yet another article on food: 10 Foods For Beautiful Skin and Healthy Body. There's also recipes so it's cool. Out of which i only eat four, and i don't eat them often. This is why i have neither beautiful skin or healthy. I crave for pancakes! And i wanna cook them myself! =D I wanna go Dark Chocolate Maeringue Drops! Anybody wanna provide me an oven? =D

OMG i wanna be a chef! >_< But i'm too lazy to cook and clean =P

I'm psyched about tomorrow! =D

Pouring honey over white bread is a bad idea for a midnight snack. Or at least soaking the whole bread with honey is >_<

*and she chokes from the intensity of honey sweetness*

Her Stomach Goes "Ah Chew!"

2009-08-03T13:07:00.006+08:00

Well..... Yours truly is stuck at home. Woke up early in the morning from gastric cramps, and i thought it was because i was too tensed up. Well you see, i was having a repetitive dream. Dreamt that i was dancing and i'm too slow, and there's a lot of splits, then standing back up and split again. Technically it isn't repetitive, since it's an ongoing dance, but it just seemed so to me 'cause i kept dancing and dancing and dancing, like dancing a 10 minutes long dance without exiting the stage. I don't really mind since i don't feel tired, but it was getting boring and i just kept chasing after the steps and music, actually, i hear no music. It was in the midst of struggling that i realised i was too tensed up and woke up with a really bad cramp. Mum thinks it's stomach flu. I don't know. I haven't contracted stomach flu before, but if it is, well it really sucks. I have no idea how Zu You can make it to school, go through a few dance lessons before collapsing. All i wanna do is coil up in bed. Drank some really salty water before hitting the sacks again. Felt a lot better but deemed that it's best to stay at home where the toilet has no queue, the phone is right beside me, and the clinic is just downstairs. Plus, i don't have to move around much. I was contemplating whether to stick it through and go North Vista, but thinking that i have a lot of things to do before i even reach my destination, my stomach is protesting again.

Check out this blog: Dear Da:ns Lover. I don't know who's the author, or perhaps authors, but it would be real cool to blog about the Dans Festival, interview the performers, and get paid. First of all i get to learn more aobut various dances, meet new people, and get paid. That's my kind of job =D I would also love to travel around the world, and still get paid. That would be fantastic! Too bad i'm not smart, or street-savvy or eloquent enough, but sometimes thinking about it is nice.

真的好不舒服啊~~~~ :((((

p.s. Do bananas help? It seems like i'm suppose to finish that whole bunch of yellow fruits >_<

不再单纯的世界

2009-08-02T23:51:00.009+08:00

This is quite a sarcastic article: 20 Ways to Waste Your Money. hahas. I didn't know leaving your money in a traditional bank is a waste of money.

I think as a kid, we are all very ignorant. At 12 we think we know everything. At 17 we think we are ready for society. At 21 you think you are old enough to take control of your life. Well, actually we are truly ignorant to say that. No matter at which age, i believe we've never truly seen the world, truly experience what life is really about. Or maybe it's just me. You know when you failed your exam, or fell out with your best friend, or got dumped by your boy/girlfriend, you feel like your world has ended. Or when you got distinction for your subject, you got into a good school, you got praised, you think you're ready to take on the world. What if the breadwinner of the family is permenantly unable to bring home the bacon? You are forced to take up a job right now so that there's a roof over your family's head, there's food on the table. Do you think your grades are still that important? What if you lose the ability to fend for yourself? You will forever be dependent on others, and your parents won't live forever. Do you think that quabble you just had is still as important? No doubt everything still matters, they will always be that nagging thought at the back of your head, but they're just not as important anymore. Okay i'm running in circles, i don't know what i'm trying to say.

I'm starting to get tired of everything. The hypocrisy, the ignorance, the cunning tricks pulled, all sorts of stuff. I don't wish for the world to be different, but at least my world to be innocent once again. However, some wishes can never come true, just like heaven.

说了这么多,有用吗？

Ignore me. I'll wake up to a better mood, i always do.

I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you've been?"
He said, "Ask anything"

Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of First and Amistad

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who's ever known
Who I am
Who I'm not, who I wanna be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
Ya never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all my world

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Where were you? Where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me

Dim Sum and Desserts!

2009-08-01T00:31:00.005+08:00

Article: Snack Attack. Lots of other links about food. Go read it up =)

Met Patrick at Braddell while we head to Bugis together. On the train ride was trying very hard to analyse whether the ladies standing around me are pregnant or plump. Gave up and just relaxed. Went around shopping and she bought this pink top that i like from Adidas! It was on sale, $20.70 but don't have my size :( I bought another top for $29.90! Can't believe it's more expensive than Adidas -_- We played lots of games at Iluma's arcade, spent $10 combined. Played this Japanese drum game, then the Cubes thingy, then the guitar game, another drum game, lastly Mario racing. We failed the second round in the guitar game, and only had 3 out of 4 rounds in the drum game 'cause i chose Battle mode when none of us played before. In Mario Patrick won. SO MUCH FUN =D Then we headed to Bugis street before we took a bus to Chinatown.

Xiao Han has to eat with fork and knife 'cause she can't open her mouth or bite anything. Ate too much prawns related dim sum we were quite sick of it. I think 龟羚糕 sucks. Too much herbal taste and bitter aftertaste! >_< We ate too little so don't think we benefitted, and the only expensive stuff we ate were like har gow and 小笼包。 In the end Patt and i were too stuffed our tummies are hard and in pain. We find it so funny we laughed all the way to the bus stop and it hurts even more i couldn't walk. I felt truly pregnant. With dim sum =P We went to Marina Square and Patt bought even more stuff. I fell in love with super high heels! All from Zara! Which all costs $100 and above -_-

Went to united Square to meet Jia Zhen and Shi Hui. Jia Hui came after we ordered. The cakes were all running out, only left Tiramisu, Sumatra and Ban Ten, Macarons only left with Pistachio, Sesame and Hazelnut. Ordered Coupe Blackforest, Warm Chocolate Cake, Profiteroles and Chocolate Souffle! YUMMY. All our desserts came and went into our tummies, then Zina and Yong Xin showed up -_- SUPER LATE. They ordered another Warm Chocolate Cake, and Coupe Cheesecake. We all had a great time! They forgot to charge us service charge too! =P

I need to lose whatever i gain, and earn whatever i lose man.

I've lost count of whatever number of good food this is. hahas. Only Zina is keeping tabs.

For photos check out Facebook. I'm lazy and tired.

Dance at A Wedding

2009-07-30T23:43:00.008+08:00

I so wanna do this if i ever get married. Suddenly dancing on stage is so boring and uninteractive! I wanna do a pas de deux as well! But that'll mean i can't wear a gown can i? =/ I'll gather my friends to do a dance like that! I'll ask this person to choreograph, that person to take pictures, i've got it all planned out!

But the only problem is, who's gonna marry me?

XD

Rock Band Returns!

2009-07-30T21:36:00.008+08:00

Article: 3 Legal Papers You Shouldn't Live Without. No idea whether it's applicable in Singapore, but i think it's about the same lah. I don't think anybody's gonna fight our my assets, there aren't any, or all are junk to others. But i do hope nobdy will fight not to have my assets! hahas. No i'll make sure i don't end up in debts in terms of money of favours!

Met up with Zu You for Pizza Hut lunch! Then went to Orchard Central for another round of Rock Band! Waited so long just to get access lah! Elizabeth came to join us =) I still suck at guitar >_< We're hooked. Then we went to Paragon for Bakerzin, but Zu You bang seh -_- Finally had Chocolate Amer! And Macarons of Sesame, Chocolate, Sakura and Pistachio! Made use of the monthly promotions =D 有熟人！真尴尬！Then we went to Ion 'cause Eli hasn't been there before and she said we shall come back again and try everything in the Food Hall. I predict it will leave us bloated and penniless! She left and i went to visit Jia Zhen. Chatted a while before i left. Realised there is nothing much on the ground floor and up. Was kinda sian so i went home.

I'm psyched about tomorrow.

Teens is so not for me. I felt i wasted $3 T_T

I am in desperate need for a book. I feel so weird without one :( I wanna read Harry Potter....

Your Ideal Pet is a Cat

You're both aloof, introverted, and moody.

And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

My flower died :((( Guess that kills my thought of wanting a pet. GAH. Barn Buddy is so much easier.

Enjoying Instability

2009-07-30T00:40:00.005+08:00

Early morning went to Causeway Point. Wanted to have KFC for breakfast but it only opens at 0800 -_- Found out Old Chang Kee has 20 cents discount for students! So Curry Puff only costs a dollar =D Went to North Vista. Was surprised it didn't rain 'cause i read MSN last night and it mentioned morning rain. Only a handful of secondary ones, quite sian. Re-taught the whole thing and they can't remember. They refused to believe humans have muscle memory, that a lot of the times it's our muscles that remembering things, not our brain. That's how i remember steps anyway, you think such a dumb person like me can remember that much? Also has to do with being used to dancing i suppose, a few years ago i would have the same difficulty remembering as well. I think i pulled my muscle. 老师 is giving me too much hope. I should shove them away before they get the better of me.

Met up with Patrick at Bishan. its swimming complex is smaller than Tampines, less advanced, dirtier. Lots of fruit flies on the walls in the shower cubicles >_< The medium pool is as shallow as normal ones, i think the pool in Tampines is special. I assume we were very early 'cause we swam for quite long, and by the time we finish bathing and walked back to the station, it was only 1330. And the it was clear, blue sky with white and grey clouds. No rain. I got really, really tanned, it's ugly. Went to Suntec's Food Republic for Prata, Chicken Murtabak and Butterfly Fritters =D Fattening and i think we wasted our swimming. She even ran at the gym in the morning! Went to source for formal top for her and i ended up buying a pair of shorts for myself! You need to spend a minimum of $150 in maximum 2 receipts to qualify for Fox's membership -_- Impossible. Then to Marina Square. Met this really, really nice Senior Sales Coordinator named Farah. I'm writing the customer feedback form soon. Tried Mac's Cornetto Flurry. None of the staff can accurately tell me the ingredients -_- Too sweet for me. All those chocolate syrup, choclate chips and some cornflakes-like thingy. Like the crunch though.

Went to meet Eng Kiat to buy stuff. His "map" sucks. hahas. Suagu him pointed to Ion and said, "Later we go there" when we just crossed the underpass from Ion to Wheelock -_- Bumped into Samantha and Andrea at Far East. Bought Macarons! 2 Chocolate, 1 Hazelbut and 1 Rose, only $3.80!! Shiok. Forgot to buy Sesame :( And the promotion is ending in 2 days time :( Still haven't buy Amer los. Met up with the two of them at Bugis again. Later Eng Kiat and i went to eat Ajisen! I love their noodles. Stuffed and we couldn't finish the Macarons. I seriously think he secretly like to eat soap =P

I'm tired from the swimming. I'm still breatheless. I suck man. Swim for 3 times le still no stamina. Then if i swim freestyle, my thighs ache; swim frog style, my arms ache. I double suck. Need to buck up and keep fit! My tan is progressing a lot faster than my stamina and strength. I look as tan as Sze Ling (no offence), or more like a zebra 'cause the colour disparity between my exposed skin and not exposed ones are HUGE. I don't mind having dark arms and legs (even though i'm still not used to it), i think i look bad with a dark face. Eng Kiat thinks i look a lot healthier. But either ways, i super don't like having a thick dark band across my waist! Never buy 2 piece swim suit ever! And i've run out of sunblock -_-

This article should help those who are starting work at a formal environment. Patrick had a hard time finding suitable clothings so this is of a great timing. What Not to Wear To Work.

I'm beginning to appreciate the slacker life i have now. I enjoy this on and off work and play routine. That nothing is quite fixed, and i'm doing stuff, like swimming which is healthy, yet getting things done like helping out in secondary schools' dance. I may be enjoying far too much, and not really being responsible or earning anything, but isn't that what being young is all about? I really hate to be stuck in a mundane job when i'm still single and young. That's the life i have to lead when i have mouths to feed. Maybe i need to find jobs of such nature, since i can't possibly work part-time forever can i? Meow Meow SMS-ed me, telling me how much she dislike her job now, and i really don't wish to end up like her. I believe you should try different things and be adventurous while you're still young and not hop on the common wagon too early. Life's too short to be tormenting yourself. Choice, limited as it is, everybody still has it, don't we all? Wow, an epiphany. But who am i kidding? Tomorrow you'll see me mourning that i'm unemployed.

I really appreciate all those who tried to help me in one way or another, offering me jobs and stuff like that. You have no idea how much it means to me. Thanks so, very much.

Murderer

2009-07-28T23:29:00.006+08:00

It was scary. Truly. It was gory as well, but quite fake lah. Nothing to be scared, but the music and the sudden pop-out things just freaks me out =/ And i had to stay calm and not scream and try not to pounce on anybody >_< There isn't a definite ending, perhaps there is a sequel? Somewhat far-fetched, yet it's a story about test of human's mental strength and morals. Also the typical revenge plot. Now i'm scared of children *shivers* Would you be willing to kill your best friend so that you have enough time to prove your own innocence? I think the male lead is too dumb lah, he could have been more discreet so that he can triumph in the end. Yes, there is no happy ending. And the ironic thing is that his wife was the only person who trusts him, but ended up getting killed.

Sometimes murderers aren't the scariest person. I think people who kill others mentally are scarier. Don't you think?

I've finished all the books i've bought. Now i have nothing to read. GAH. I'm thinking of re-reading Harry Potter. That'll keep me busy for quite a while, but i need to find out who borrowed them 'cause i think out of 5 books, i'm only left with 1 -_- WHERE ARE MY BOOKS MAN?

I've found and lost a job all in a single day. What a loser i am.

My moods fluctuate too frequently, but there is nothing i can do about it. Maybe it's the listening to 梁静茹 and 戴佩妮。

Oh i bumped into Hidhir last night. I was standing at least a foot apart from him and still i have to elevate my head just to see eye-to-eye with him. It was never easy talking to him. He, like everyone else has a plan, unlike me. Oh well.

I feel stuck. Maybe i'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but in the environment that i grew up, there's always a price to pay. I'm frightened.

Got Wild and Wet, Iced and Prehistoric =P

2009-07-28T16:11:00.006+08:00

I just woke up =P Well, technically, i woke up an hour ago.

Went to Wild Wild Wet with Zu You and Elizabeth yesterday! It was pouring lah! But we just went ahead. It only opens at 1300 so we had lunch at Pasta Mania first. The Arrabiata is too spicy and isn't nice :(

Then we went to pay the entrance fee. I flashed my dad's NTUC Link Card and she demands to see the person himself. SO TROUBLESOME CAN? Other than Zhao Yuan, which teenager in the right mind would have the NTUC Card? =P Luckily i had Orchid Country Club's membership, so i got it at $11.50. The discount is entitled up to 4 accompanying guests. Aranda Country Club and Nebo also have discount.

Funkey card. I have no idea what's it for.

Wild Wild Wet is quite a disappointment. SO SMALL. I'd rather go the Jurong one. The water doesn't tastes salty either. Let's go there next time! It has the Shiok River (i like to call it the Lazy River 'cause there's no shiok part at all), the Tsunami pool, and three slides, where one is under maintenance -_- The lowest slide is no fun, the Ular slide is FUN! It's this big float that accommodates up to 6 person, and you slide down together! The heavier it is, the more inertia i suppose, so the higher you swing up the sides of the slide! We went twice, and no matter where i sit, i'm always backfacing -_- Zu You refuses to let go of the floats no matter whether we're in the Lazy River or Tsunami pool -_- 'Cause he can't swim. Actually he can. He just don't know how to get his head up to breathe. Slide Up is a thriller man. Zu You and i went first. I volunteered to sit facing the slide, while Zu You back faced. I thought the slope is quite gentle, but when the float starts to move i kept thinking "Where's the slide? Where's the slide?" until i'm directly above Zu You and i go "OH MY GOD I SEE ITTTT....." while my voice goes "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" and we plunge down. It's less than 10 seconds but it's was fearsome. Second time Eli went with him and i made him sit on my side. He screamed all the way. hahas.

Us after all the playing. Zu You is exceptionally tall because he's standing on a platform-like thingy -_- You noticed none of us were any tanner, 'cause it was a cloudy day.

Hungry! So we went to Superdog! Then i rushed over to North Vista. Lucky for me there's a straight bus. But when i got on, it started pouring -_-

I thought they were in the hall and i nearly walked in when i see all the uniform groups practising Guard of Honour and the people at the back are staring at me O_O Real eye-opener literally. I miss uniform groups. Reminds me of my childish days in secondary school :( They were at this classroom with mirror at the top floor, and the floor is DIRTY. We off the ceiling fans and opened the windows, and man, it's cooling! Natural wind. hahas.

Then i rushed again to Ang Mo Kio Hub to catch Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs with Jia Hui, Jocelene and Zina! Everybody was waiting for me 'cause none of them has Nets card -_- The Nachos sucks. Not fresh and too little cheese so i didn't manage to finish it in the end. $7 combo. So expensive -_- I like the little dinosaurs!!! SO ADORABLE. It was funny, but overall okay lah. I realised all animation trilogies always must have kids. Like Shrek. I think i can relate to Diego. The squirrel thing ending is just.. I don't know. Guess we're all meant to be alone huh? hahas.

Watched RSMD's SYF on Facebook. A wave of sadness washed over me and i don't know whether i'm too sentimental or their performance touched me. Don't emo don't emo.

My hair is too dry! Too much chlorine or too much sun?

Going to watch Murderer later. OH NO. I'm scared >_< I wish somebody else would watch with us!

Fly Me To The Moon

2009-07-25T02:05:00.011+08:00

Article: Foods that make you ugly. OMG. My staple foods are all in it. If Soya is bad for the body, nothing's safe anymore. What's wrong with food nowadays man, even biscuits and breads are unhealthy. Perhaps tomorrow they'll tell you vegetables and fruits are too. I should just starve.

Met up with Zu You, Eng Kiat and Elizabeth. Had lunch at Just Noodles, Suntec. The portion is quite big, plus the free flow of drinks and ice-cream, we didn't really make use of it.

Then we walked to Singapore Flyer. Saw lots of army boys carrying this and that. Hate their mud-colour tee. Ugly =P There's a student promotion now, on weekends if you flash your student card and fill in your details, the ticket price is only $10 nett, and it's till end of this year. There's rental of audio guides for free for a limited period, and a Feng Shui version for $2 available at the entrance. The carriages won't stop so you have to literally hop on. It's rather spacious and it's tiring to listen to the audio guide and try to find where they're talking about. So in the end i just chucked it aside. There's this round map in the carriage, and it draws the surrounding buildings, islands and landmarks, with the Flyer in the middle. Quite cool. I can see Kusu Island, Sentosa, Malaysia, National Stadium, Marina Barrage and more. But i couldn't find Changi though.

There's a souvenir shop and they have several items of the Flyer, some of Singapore, but the rest is just irrelevant. And i think they need to change their Creative/Design team, 'cause i don't really like the Flyer souvenirs. Not nice leh. Tees also not nice. But the intricate things are. And what's with the animal umbrellas man? They sell tops and not bottoms, i don't get that either. It's more touristy and other attractions. Discovery Centre is so much better.

Eli and Zu You goes off to UCC while Eng Kiat and i went to Bugis. I hate monopoly. Those who take Economics should understand. In Bugis Street there's only one stall left, which sells CDs from Mainland. There used to be several, and i liked the stall nearest to the entrance 'cause the uncle sells all albums, regardless English or Mandarin, at $7 only. Now the only stall left sells it at $9 and above. Sucks. I hate inflation. And they don't have all the albums. It just turns me off.

Went to catch Fighting at Film Garde. I sort of expected the outcome of the final fight. It isn't very meaningful to me. Can't believe i spent $9.50 on it. Wanted to watch Obsessed instead but it's at 2330.

For pictures, check out Facebook some other days. I'm tired =_=

Sporty Rocky

2009-07-23T22:06:00.014+08:00

Went to Paya Lebar early in the morning. Ate KFC breakfast with Zu You, Elizabeth and Rui Min. Well actually, Zu You and i ate, Eli drank, Rui Min looked. Their honey sucks. Well it's more suitable for making honey drink, not eat with the waffles.

Then we took 76 to Marine Parade and walked quite a distance before reaching the bicycles and skates rental shop in East Coast Park. One pair costs $7 inclusive of non-elastic socks and knee guards, and rent an hour free another hour. We wasted extra $2 on locker but i don't blame you. It happens =) But $2 for one locker is bloody expensive, locker in Tampines Swimming Complex only costs 20cents and it's digital. We haven't even reached our mainroad, i fell 'cause i don't know how to swerve and brake on a slope. Yes, i have no idea how to skate. Neither does Zu You but i fell more than him. Well, he can turn better than me in dance can't he? hahas. We skate to one end (nearly), then back, on the way Eli sped off, followed by Rui Min, Zu You tries to zoom, and i was struggling behind. Every interval they stopped and wait for me, before speeding off again. I kept looking on the floor i have no idea where i'm skating to or past, so being at the beach didn't make me feel relaxed. I was so tensed on not falling, which i still did. But on the way back i found the feeling, occasionally looked up to the ocean and man, it feels nice. Like gliding, unsteadily but it still feels great. Nice invention =) The worse part was skating to Mac, then 7-11. The floors were uneven i was so scared i'll fall in front of people walking in normal shoes. Was also quite scared to pull any shelves down or bang into any when i lose balance. Bought the Little Miss Capsule! So fun! =D Then we bought our drinks and went to sit at one of the stone benches nearest to the shore. It was calming. I realised the sea has 6 different shades. So cool. Then this stupid bugger kept shouting vulgarities in random direction -_- We returned our skates and went back to Marine Parade.

On our way back Zu You found this Y-shaped twig. "What shall we do with it?" says Zu You as he scratches himself like a chimpanzee.

Make a 'Z' to form Zu You!

Zu You, Elizabeth and Rui Min.

Flowers that look like Sakura.

And we see roosters and a chamelon, all camera shy.

Rui Min went home, while the three of us went to Orchard Central. Look at the colourful lifts and acrylic like doors. They didn't believe me when i said there's Little Miss Purple so i showed them, it exists okay?

Then we went to play Rock Band! Highlight of the day man. Initially i was the only who played the drum, 'cause i didn't dare to pick up the guitar, later Zu You joined me and we swtiched and i failed playing the guitar! We swtiched back then it was okay. Eli joined in and she's better at guitar. Yong Xin came to meet us and she and Eli both failed at drums! hahas. It was real fun and Zu You and i were all tempted to get a full set. But get this, i have to not only buy the full set, but also an X-Box 'cause i don't have one -_- Would you guys wanna buy me that as a birthday present? It's only hundred over dollars and i'll invite all of you to come play, since it would be rather boring to play alone. I can give you numbers of all my friends so by the time you divide the cost, it may only be a few dollars =P Kidding lah. Who would be free to play with me? My brother will get glued to it and neglect his studies and get scolded, Mum will trash the set in the heat of anger, and i will get irritated by all the commotion i don't wanna go home.

Zu You went to Cheng Ballet and us three went to Heerens for lunch. Settled on Waraku de Pasta's set lunches for $8.90++ and it was damn nice. Or maybe it's the company =)

Add $3 to either get 20cm pizza or side. I ordered potato salad. It tastes like mashed potato mixed with boiled eggs and vegetables. The vegetables give a crunch to it, and tastes light. Nice!

Yong Xin ordered Salmon. Melts in your mouth!

My Spaghette Bolognese. I know it's common but i don't know what else to eat. Eli had Eel and Egg, which to me tastes like Hokkien Prawn Noodle but nice, and Yong had something with egg, i forgot, which is nice as well. I was too caught up with cooking my raw egg that i forgot to take pictures of theirs. In the end i lost my yolk in the sea of pasta. hahas!

Lastly, dessert of the day. Vanilla ice-cream. I like the fact they added the thin layer of crepe. Sincerity. Not bad.

And i finally bought 梁静茹's 静茹&情歌 at HMV. Amazingly, it's the cheapest ther compared to Music Junction and CD Rama. The CD is pretty right? Didn't take photo of CD2.

Eli went for Cheng and we went to shop around. Went to Ion and redeem my free French Cinnamon from Taiyaki at B4's Food Hall. It's custard with cinnamon and apple chunks wrapped in a thin, crispy layer of flour. BEST. It costs $2+ i think but it's real nice. Also visited Jia Zhen. Yong Xin and i were so distracted we didn't help anybody look out for their stuff like we promised =P

I'm becoming more sporty. What with the swimming and the rollerblading. I wanna do all again! =D I'm getting tanned too. It's kind of ugly. Even Jia Zhen notices that my back is darker! See i told you i was getting darker! When i bathe and happen to look in the mirror i feel disgusted by the obvious difference in shade. It's like dividing of countries not according to sense or rationality but simply because the plates beneath shifted and the earth cracked and each countries just look LIKE THAT. I don't like a dark me :( Maybe i should lather on more sunblock.

Got this email. Find some of the things she mentioned quite true. Things that are obvious but can't be seen clearly, like an object brought too close to our eyes we look through it. Enjoy reading =)

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio :

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one
is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years,
will this matter?".
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you
did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,
we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.